How to get a guy to commit

Truth is you can’t get a man to commit to you, you can only inspire him to commit to you.

And I strongly believe that as a woman, you should never try to convince, beg or manipulate a guy to commit that doesn’t want a relationship.

For one, because you are too good for that and two because we all know what happens when we are forced to do something, we never really wanted to do in the first place.

We abandon it after a while.

That’s the same with men and commitment. If they can’t see why it is beneficial for them to be in a serious relationship, they won’t commit to one.

How to get him to Commit

But before I dive into my steps on how to get a man to commit, let’s first look into the meaning of commitment.

Commitment definition 

According to

Making a commitment involves dedicating yourself to something, like a person or a cause. 

Essentially what we mean when we talk about commitment in relationships is that both people make a more or less public statement that they signed up for the role of a boyfriend or girlfriend and will do what they are expected to do in their roles. 

That is important because, without a commitment, a relationship has no parameters in which it functions and therefore neither can be held accountable.

What makes a man commit

The biggest misconception about ‘what makes a man commit’ is that a woman needs to be super beautiful, super smart or super successful in order for a man to commit.


How often do we see couples, where we ask ourselves ‘what does she have that I don’t?’.

First off, girl don’t be a hater and secondly, comparison is the thief of joy, so stop! And lastly, most likely nothing.

Truth is in order to get him to commit, he actually looks at the quality of the relationship you can offer him. And most of the times that has nothing to do with your appearance, but with the type of woman you are.

While appearance is what will attract a man to you, your character is what makes a man want to commit.

However, as a woman, you can ignite his desire for a commitment by using these 7 effective steps on how to get him to commit.

how to make him commit without pressure

7 Steps to make a man commit

1. Self-Confidence

There is nothing worse for a man than a woman who is desperate to be in a relationship. Because that woman communicates to him that she lacks self-respect and will do and accept anyone and anything to be in a relationship.

A woman who is self-confident and knows her God-given value, on the other hand, is what makes a man want to commit the most. The fact that she has her own identity and happiness outside of him, encourages him to commit to her.


Because it takes the pressure off of him to be her source of fulfillment and gives him the certainty that both of them will be able to pour into the relationship and elevate his life.

2. Giving him Space

A close second after self-confidence is, whether or not a woman is clingy/needy. Men need a sense of freedom even when they are in a committed relationship. They don’t want to feel like they are losing their identity, because they started dating.

Therefore, one thing you can do is to give him space by continuing to live your own best life. Even if you are already dating or have just met, don’t give up on all your plans, passions and projects for him.

Doing that will ensure you stay sane and he will be inspired to commit because you are showing him that being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up who you are.

3. Connect emotionally

My number 1 relationship advice for women who are wondering how to make him commit without pressure, is to build an emotional connection with a man through vulnerability.

Vulnerability is a powerful tool that allows healthy couples to open up to each other by creating a safe space.

In comparison to women, most men do not have an emotional support system. They do not have the sister, cousin or best friend that they can open up to.

As a consequence, a lot of men never explore or deal with their fears, worries or pain.

As a woman, you have the opportunity to create a safe space for the man you like to express his feelings, by being vulnerable yourself and showing him that he doesn’t need to be perfect around you.

And when a man feels safe enough with you to be vulnerable you become special to him. So special it will make him want you as a girlfriend/wife because he fears to lose you.

He will want to hold on to you even if that means giving up his beloved bachelor’s life and instead commit to a relationship/ commit to marriage.

4. Set and maintain healthy boundaries

Contrary to popular belief, clearly communicating what you expect in a relationship to the man you are dating, is good.

In order to gain a man’s respect and interest, you should communicate your standards and boundaries in a respectful and feminine way right from the beginning. Equip him with the necessary knowledge and tools to successfully pursue you.

Let him know politely, what you expect from him in a dating, committed or marriage relationship and tell him what you will provide in return.

Let him show you that he understood what is required of him before you increase your attention, your interest and your emotional investment in the relationship.  

The right man will feel inspired and encouraged to commit to you and the wrong man will run for the hills. It’s a win-win situation!

5. Upgrade his life

Okay, this one might seem a little hard but it’s easier than you think.

The only reason why anyone, no matter if male or female, should ever want to leave singleness and decide to enter a committed relationship is because your life gets better.

Meaning that being with you should be better for him than being alone. More fun, more purpose, more love. Simple.

Therefore, tip number five on how to get a man to commit to you is to upgrade his life, by showing him that your presence adds value.

Now, I don’t want you to change who you are in order to appeal to a man. Instead, I want you to be 100% your true self and let him experience the quirky, goofy and emotional you.

Only then will he be able to discern whether you are someone he wants to add to his life or not and inspired to take it to the next level.

6. Make him invest in you 

One of the best ways to make a man commit is to give him a stake in the relationship. It is psychologically proven that people care more about the things they put effort in. 

A man that is challenged to be his best in a relationship and has to meet your standards will be more likely to want to commit to dating exclusively because he has already invested in you and the relationship. 

And that is not just from a financial standpoint. People tend to invest time, energy, and emotions into their relationships. And that is if we disregard the amount of sacrifice we make to accommodate the other person.

7) Show him that you are his match

One of the things I have come to learn about men is that they will examine a relationship as if it was a business deal. They want to know if they are yoking themselves with the right person.

In some cases, they will look for someone that is their equal and matches them financially, intellectually and in the looks department. Others will be attracted to someone that brings qualities into the relationship they do not possess and therefore desire. 

Men want a relationship that benefits them as much as the woman and is a wise decision. After all, a marriage commitment is a lifetime contract/ deal.

How to get a guy to commit

Why commitment matters

When a relationship lacks commitment, it’s only a matter of time until things turn sour. Women that find themselves in situationships realize that they have developed feelings for the man and now yearn for more.

But it’s not just feelings that trigger the desire for commitment.

1. Security

Feeling secure in a relationship is important for the health and growth of the relationship.

Knowing that you can rely on the other person and truly let yourself go when you are around them. This is only possible when the couple commits to each other and both parties know where they stand with each other. 

2) Greater intimacy

It is well-known that trust fosters intimacy, but what fosters trust?

The answer is commitment.

We are more inclined to share important parts of ourselves, such as fears, dreams, and challenges with a person we trust.

Committing to someone means you are willing to take the relationship and the other person serious, meaning you promise them monogamy and fidelity which allows them to offer you greater intimacy, knowing that their heart is safe with you. 

3) Shared experiences

As mentioned above, commitment leads to greater trust and intimacy. And with that comes the courage and desire to share your lives with each other.

A couple that is committed will want to involve their partner in their experiences. Introduce them to friends and family and go on vacation together. But that’s reserved for boyfriends/girlfriends only. 

How to get him to commit to marriage

How to get him to commit to marriage

If you are already in a relationship and feel like it’s time to take it to the next level, then you might be wondering how to get him to propose.

Maybe you already discussed marriage with your boyfriend and feel like it’s time.

If that’s the case, then you need to voice your concern. Do not set an ultimatum or manipulate him into feeling guilty. But simply state the importance of marriage to you and why you believe your relationship is at a tipping point.

After that, you should refrain from bringing up the conversation again and give yourself a timeline. Be willing to walk away from the relationship if you do not see his intent to move it forward.

As we know, dating nowadays can be tricky and confusing. But it does not have to be.

There are different ways to master the dating scene, but the most effective way on how to get a man to commit is by being the most confident version of yourself.

Become the one that attracts the one and learn how to naturally inspire a man’s desire for commitment.

How to Get Him to Commit In 5 Effective Steps

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