How to get him to commit to a relationship
I don’t think there is any topic as thought after by single women as commitment.
Because every year it gets harder and harder, it seems, to get a man to commit to a relationship.
But I don’t even blame them. With the many options out there to meet women, a lot of guys have a hard time making a decision.
So we often find ourselves in situationships, dating someone for weeks or even months with no commitment, just to end up at square one again.
And that gets frustrating very quickly. Like what in the world does it take for a man to commit to dating exclusively?
Well, the answer is somewhat simple but also complicated.
Men will commit when they are given the freedom to. The more you try to get a man to commit, the less successful you will be.
Because the truth is you can’t get a man to commit, you can only inspire him to commit.
That’s why today I’m sharing 7 effective steps on how to make him commit without pressure.
But before I dive into the steps, let’s explore what it is men look for in the women they commit to.
What makes a man commit and fall in love
As mentioned already, freedom plays a very big role for men.
In order to commit to a woman, a man wants to feel like he is gaining something rather than losing anything, especially his independence.
He wants to feel like he:
- Will keep his independence and freedom
- Won’t be distracted from his purpose/ goals
- Will not be engulfed/ mothered
That is the woman he can see himself with long-term. A woman that keeps her life and his life exciting and fun while slowly merging the two.
While that sounds easy, it is often very hard for us girls to remain nonchalant in relationships. Because the closer we get to him, the more we start to expect, put pressure on, and worry about the relationship.
Well, you got to cut it!
If you want him to commit and fall in love, then you have to show him that you can offer him the relationship of his dreams. No pressure, no problems, but a lot of peace.
How to make him commit without pressure
As you can tell pressure is the keyword in this post. Because pressure will do the exact opposite of what you want. It will repel him.
Why is pressure so scary to men?
Because it makes them feel like they now have to live up to your expectations of them and can’t live their own lives anymore.
Believe it or not, men will actually give up on the relationship if they feel like they do not have what it takes to satisfy you.
Their desire to be the man that can make you happy is so big, that if they feel like they can’t they’d rather stop dating you than living with that feeling.
And it makes sense in a way.
No person in the world would choose to be in a relationship with the person or thing that makes them feel insecure about her/himself.
That’s why it’s never a good idea to use ultimatums or pressure to convince him to commit.
Instead, you have to ask yourself if that’s the relationship you desire to be in. One were you always have to push him on.
Not only will it get tiring after a while, but it also means that you have to lead with your masculine energy in order to keep the relationship going. And for many women that eventually becomes a big problem and oftentimes the reason why they don’t get the commitment they desire.
How to get him to commit in 7 effective steps
There is nothing worse for a man than a woman who is desperate to be in a relationship.
Because desperation communicates to him that you lack self-respect and will do and accept anyone and anything to be in a relationship.
On the other hand, when you are self-confident and know your God-given value, you inspire him to commit to you.
Because now he sees that you have your own identity and happiness outside of him.
Which takes the pressure off of him to be your source of fulfillment and gives him the reassurance that both of you will be able to pour into the relationship and elevate each other’s life.
2. Giving him Space
A close second after self-confidence is, whether or not you are clingy or needy.
Men need a sense of freedom even when they are in a committed relationship. They don’t want to feel like they are losing their identity, once they started dating.
Therefore, one thing you can do is to give him space by continuing to live your own best life. No matter if you are already dating or just met, don’t give up on all your plans, passions, and projects for him.
Instead keep doing you by hanging out with your friends, partaking in your favorite hobbies/ activities, and pursuing your own dreams.
Doing that will ensure that you stay sane and show him that being in a relationship doesn’t mean that he has to give up who he is.
3. Connect emotionally
My number 1 relationship advice for women who are wondering how to make him commit without pressure, is to build an emotional connection with a man through vulnerability.
Vulnerability is a powerful tool that allows healthy couples to open up to each other by creating a safe space.
In comparison to women, most men do not have an emotional support system. They do not have a sister, cousin, or best friend that they can open up to.
As a consequence, a lot of men never explore or deal with their fears, worries, or pain.
As a woman, you can create a safe space for a man to express his feelings, by being vulnerable yourself.
Show him that he doesn’t need to be perfect around you, but can be his authentic self.
Once he feels safe enough with you to be vulnerable you become special to him. So special that he will fear losing you.
He will want to hold on to you even if that means giving up his beloved bachelor’s life and commit to you.
4. Set and maintain healthy boundaries
Contrary to popular belief, clearly communicating what you expect in a relationship is good.
In order to gain a man’s respect and interest, you have to communicate your standards and boundaries in a respectful and feminine way right from the beginning.
By doing that you equip him with the necessary knowledge and tools to successfully pursue you.
Let him know politely, what you expect from him in a dating, committed or marriage relationship and tell him what you will provide in return.
Let him show you that he understands what is required of him before you increase your attention, your interest, and your emotional investment in the relationship.
And you will be surprised to learn that the right guy will feel inspired and encouraged to commit to you, while the wrong guy will run for the hills.
It’s a win-win situation!
5. Upgrade his life
Okay, this tip on how to make him commit without pressure may seem a little hard at first, but it’s easier than you think.
I truly believe that the only reason why anyone should ever want to leave singleness and decide to enter a committed relationship is that it is an upgrade to your life.
Meaning that being with each other feels better for both of you than being alone. More fun, more purpose, more love. Simple.
That’s why the best way to get a guy that doesn’t want a relationship to commit is to upgrade his life, by showing him that your presence adds value.
That doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are in order to appeal to a man. Instead, it means you have to be 100% your true self and let him experience the quirky, goofy, and emotional you.
Only then will he be able to discern whether you are someone he wants to add to his life or not.
Upgrading his life means that you bring a unique twist that no other woman can because there is only one you.
And that is what will inspire him to take it to the next level.
6. Make him invest in you
One of the best ways to make a man commit without pressure is to give him a stake in the relationship.
It is psychologically proven that people care more about the things they put the effort in.
When you challenge a man to be his best and meet your standards while dating exclusively, he will be more likely to want to commit.
Because now he has already invested in you and the relationship.
A man wants a relationship that benefits him as much as you want a relationship that benefits you.
And that does not only include a financial investment. Dating means that you invest time, energy, and emotions into the other person.
In addition, being in a relationship often requires compromises and sacrifices to accommodate each other.
7. Show him that you are his match
One of the things I have come to learn about men is that they will examine a relationship as if it was a business deal. He wants to know that the woman he is with brings desired values to the table.
These values can be financial, intellectual, physical, and more.
Sometimes he will look for someone that is on his level, sometimes he will look for someone that possesses a quality that he doesn’t.
Whatever his criteria are that make him feel like he has found a match.
A man wants a relationship that benefits him as much as you want a relationship that benefits you.
So, as a woman, you have to be honest and examine what you bring to the table. How can you naturally improve his life, without having to change or to overextend yourself?
So before you ask how to make him commit without pressure, ask yourself those questions first.
How to get a guy to commit that doesn’t want a relationship
I will be honest with you. I actually suggest that whenever a man does not want a relationship with you, you pack your bags and move on!
Don’t question him, don’t try to convince him, and definitely don’t wait for him.
Why? Because love is very easy: Choose the person, that chooses you.
You want him to commit to you by choice and with excitement. Because that means that he is dedicated to you and the relationship.
Anything less than that will result in resentment.
How to get him to commit to marriage
If you are already in a relationship and feel like it’s time to take it to the next level, then you might be wondering how to get him to commit to marriage.
Maybe you already discussed marriage with your boyfriend and feel like it’s time.
If that’s the case, then you need to voice your concern. Do not set an ultimatum or manipulate him into feeling guilty. But simply state the importance of marriage to you and why you believe your relationship needs to pivot.
After that, you should refrain from bringing up the conversation again and give yourself a timeline. Be willing to walk away from the relationship if you do not see his intent to move it forward.
As we know, dating nowadays can be tricky and confusing. But it does not have to be.
There are different ways to master the dating scene, but the most effective way on how to get a man to commit is by being the most confident version of yourself.