Godly advice on how to enjoy being single
The one thing I am the proudest of in my life is my life. That might sound vain to you, but trust me when I tell you that it’s not what you think it is.
I’m not rich, I’m not famous, but I’m blessed.
As a single Christian woman, I have not always considered myself blessed. For a long time, I was looking for success and fulfillment in all the wrong places – a man, a job, a title.
It took a while until I realized that I already had everything I needed for this season of my life. I had flexibility, opportunities, and a healthy dose of self-esteem.
Once I discovered the benefits of being a single woman, my perspective shifted and life felt like a blessing. That’s why today I’m sharing how to enjoy being single no matter your age.
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The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).
Are all single Christian women struggling?
I know a lot of you can relate to how I felt before. Because if you have been desiring to be in a relationship for a while, enjoying your singleness can seem hard at times.
But the truth is you don’t have to struggle through your single season and can choose joy instead. the trick to how to enjoy being single is to understand that it isn’t an outside circumstance that suddenly makes you feel good about being single.
You have to decide to choose joy amid challenges which will help you be happy as a single Christian woman.
And this might sound easier than it seems, but it is true. Of course, as always I don’t want to let you hang by simply telling you to “choose joy”. Instead, I want to provide you with practical steps on how to enjoy being single.
10 Tips on how to enjoy being single
Here are a few of the things that I did over the last few years that have helped me be a happy single Christian woman.
1. Build/ deepen your relationship with God
How do you know if you are good at being in a relationship? I remember asking myself that for years. You see I had never been in a healthy, loving relationship. And while I could look to others for an idea, I wanted to experience it myself.
Fast forward a few years and now I am certain that I would be good at it.
Because I have a healthy and loving relationship with God. A relationship that is based on honesty and trust and encourages total vulnerability.
A thriving relationship with Christ will help you prepare for marriage. Because it teaches you that a relationship shouldn’t be performance-based but build on commitment and sacrifice.
While the relationships we see on TV or in our community may give us a highlight reel of what it should look like, the Bible tells us the cold truth. That you need to die to yourself daily and offer grace and love even if you don’t feel like it.
2. Live a full life
Like I already mentioned above, I’m pretty proud of my simple life. At age 29 I’ve traveled to more than 23 countries, lived in 7 countries, and experienced a lot of adventures.
And that’s only because I refuse to wait for another person before I do things I always wanted to do. I proudly maintain a “Single’s, Bucket List”. And that Bucket List isn’t any different from my general “Bucket List”.
Go on the trip, visit that restaurant, but the house. Life is too short to wait for someone to join you in things that you could have done as a Single already.
Dare to live a full life! Now as a Single Christian Woman!
And if you really like something and feel like that’s something you would enjoy more if you were in a relationship. Great, don’t cross it off your list yet and revisit it once you are in a relationship or married.
Don’t make the mistake to wait, when you could be living.
3. Find and pursue your passion
My favorite tip on this list of how to enjoy being single is to find and pursue your passion!
What other interests do you have in life besides work, school, and church?
Don’t get me wrong, all three of these are important and it’s good that they play a big role in your life. But what else do you like? What are your interests, hobbies, and passion?
You see these things make you an interesting person and set you apart as you.
For someone to get to know you, you need to know yourself first. So, find and pursue your passion. Because that won’t just make you unique, but it will also help you enjoy being single.
Remember that you will eventually get used to a relationship, and if there is nothing outside of your daily routine that you enjoy, you will get bored.
And if you don’t know your interests yet, it’s fine. Go and find some. Go outside, try out different things, and ask yourself “Do I enjoy this or not?”. Explore, engage and evaluate your interests.
4. Desire marriage, but don’t worship it
I have been pretty outspoken about this topic in the past. Desiring marriage is nothing to be ashamed of. Actually, I believe it is noble to enjoy and anticipate something that God calls ‘a good thing’.
However, it becomes a problem if it’s all that’s on your mind.
For a lot of single Christian women, marriage becomes an idol and is all they think about day in and day out. The problem with that is, that you lose sight of what God calls you to do/ be in your season of singleness.
In order to be happy and single, you need to set your mind on things above like scripture says (Colossians 3:2). You need to diligently work on God’s kingdom here and now. Because even in your season of singleness he has a divine purpose for you.
Marriage is not the end be all of what life is.
So don’t worship the idea of marriage that you set your expectations so high, that when you do get into a relationship, it won’t live up to it.
5. Learn to steward your household
My favorite part of my single season so far was when I lived in my little apartments in Budapest, Hungary, and Duesseldorf, Germany, and had my household to take care of.
I felt like a real grown-up.
When you live alone you learn a lot. You learned to steward your own money wisely enough to cover your monthly bills. You learn to manage your cleaning schedule disciplined enough to welcome spontaneous guests. And you learn how to budget, live frugally and spend on things that matter.
It might not sound like fun, but it is a great way to grow into a happy single woman.
6. Become the best version of yourself
A lot of people spend time wishing that they were skinnier, healthier, or fitter. And when you ask them what keeps them from achieving those things it’s usually laziness.
One of the benefits of being single is that you have time. But are you motivated?
A good way on how to enjoy being single is by exercising and eating healthy. Your goal might not be to run a marathon next year, but why not strive for more endurance or a lower cholesterol level.
Becoming the best version of yourself is a journey that increases self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-love. You learn to appreciate your body more, understand how it works, and treat it better.
After all, your body is not just the house you live in, but also the temple of the holy spirit.
7. Spend time with other Christian Singles
While I love doing things solo and am my own favorite person, I do cherish the fact that I have time to socialize with others. Especially other Christian Singles. Nothing beats community with other believers that can lift you up when you are having a bad day and relate to your burden.
So benefit from the time you have now and meet new people in your local community/church but also at events or while dating online. Use it as an opportunity to develop your interpersonal skills and become a well-rounded social person.
8. Practice self-care
If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that I celebrate a special day every month, that I call Self-Love Saturday. That day is about nothing and no-one else but me! On that day I celebrate myself, my life, and the little things that make life worthwhile.
I treat myself comes in many different ways, from doing a run through Piedmont Park in the morning, a lunch in the afternoon a manicure right after, and some shopping or a movie in the night.
I do all this not to drain my bank account (that happens anyway), but to remember that life is worth living here and now.
So, practice self-care by doing something for yourself once in a while. Don’t save all your money and dreams for a time in the future that isn’t promised.
9. Get involved in ministry, local community/ missions
As I mentioned earlier, God created your life for a purpose. He is not surprised by the number of years you have as a not-yet-married woman. He actually intended for you to go through this season for a reason.
Hurts? Welp, get over it.
The faster you find peace and contentment in your single season, the sooner you will be able to start working on your divine calling. God needs you to put on your big girl pants and stop crying and instead get involved in building his kingdom.
Get involved in ministry by serving at your church, cleaning up your local community, or embarking on a mission trip. Doing something that allows you to change the perspective and serve others will help you enjoy singleness more.
10. Invest in yourself
Enjoy being selfish while you can and invest in yourself. As you read above, I treat myself, I travel, and I work in ministry… But I also started this blog, which was an investment in myself and my future.
Yes, creating a blog is not cheap. In terms of monetary value but also time.
Now that I have a clue of what I need to do daily to maintain this blog, I spend around 20 hours per week on it. But before, I would spend up to 5 hours a day on my blog, developing, writing, and studying to become better.
Does that mean you have to create a blog to invest in yourself? Absolutely not! But it means you could start the online jewelry business you’ve been thinking about, the cooking channel on YouTube showcasing your 5-minute vegan sandwiches, or going on the networking trip to China to find out if a wholesale business is feasible.
Whatever helps you to get to the next level of yourself, invest in it. Because later on when you’re married and have kids your time and resources will be limited ad your mind pulled into different directions.
Benefits of being a single woman
I usually don’t like to compare singleness to a relationship, because I think they are very different from each other. But I know that many of you are asking yourselves “is single life better than a relationship?”.
Well, now that I have been in a committed relationship for 6 months, I can share what I found out.
More Free Time: As a single Christian you have so much free time you can spend however you like. That is something that I have been missing lately. Because I’m in a new relationship, my priorities have shifted. Meaning that nowadays if I have free time I either spend it with my boyfriend or friends, which very rarely leaves time for just me.
Fewer responsibilities: Even though my boyfriend and I are not married yet, I already have responsibilities regarding him and our relationship. Because we are very intentional and dating with purpose, we are preparing ourselves for a lifetime commitment. And that brings responsibilities. Being part of a couple means prioritizing the other person in your decision-making and that is not always fun.
Godly advice for singles
Of course, I can’t finish this post without leaving at least a word of encouragement for my fellow single Christian ladies. I know firsthand how hard it can be to find contentment in this season. And I honestly don’t believe any godly woman should ever strive for contentment. You should strive for happiness.
With that said, however, I have to admit that the best advice I can give you is to remember that being single is not a curse and being in a relationship is not a cure-all. Trying to escape your single season because of a lack of self-esteem, loneliness, or anxiety won’t lead to a healthy relationship, because you have not dealt with the problem at hand.
Like I said many times before in this blog post. You can be single and happy if you choose to be.