Signs he wants a relationship with you
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When you start dating someone new, there is one very important question you eventually ask yourself. And that is whether or not the man you are dating is looking for the same thing as you – a committed relationship.
Because the last thing you want to do is start catching feelings and projecting your whole future with him when all he wants is to date casually.
You need to know “does he want to be my boyfriend?”.
How do you tell if a man wants a relationship?
I can’t even tell you how often I asked myself that very question, just to end up misreading all the signs. Well, that was until I read this eye-opening book on how men think.
Man was that a game changer!
In the book, Matthew Hussey, who we all love and trust shares exactly how men think and what they want in a woman. But the best part is, that his advice is very practical and can easily be applied to your dating life right now.
And yes, I low-key credit this book with my recent success in dating. For an even better idea of the book, check out all these reviews.
Signs he doesn’t want you
Now here is the thing. Of course, there are also clear signs that a man does not want a relationship. But they are usually assumptions until you flat out ask him. Because men will play lovey-dovey and still not want to be with you.
Unfortunately, more often than not women scare away from the delicate topic of commitment altogether. Your fear of abandonment is so big, that you are afraid any conversation about commitment will chase him off.
However, when you don’t ask him about his intentions for the relationship, you risk getting caught up in the Twilight Zone of a Situationship.
Which you probably do not want.
While you should not and will not be able to avoid the commitment talk forever, there are a few clues that you can look out for in the early dating stage that will help you identify if he wants to be your boyfriend.
Obvious signs he wants a relationship
1. He pursues you
Before I get into this point, I want to mention that I strongly believe there is nothing wrong with a woman reciprocating interest in a man by calling or texting him first from time to time.
However, a woman should never be the only one that initiates all the contact.
When a man is truly interested in being with you, he will show you. You won’t have to ask yourself: “Does he want to be with me?”
You won’t have to wonder where he is or what your status is because his actions align with his words.
Instead, you will feel that you have his attention because he checks in on you on a daily basis and is eager to keep the communication going.
2. He is consistent
Luckily, this point can be observed very early on in the dating phase and is one of the undeniable signs he wants to be your boyfriend.
Is he consistent in his communication and availability or does he sporadically send you a ‘hey what’s up’ text?
When a man is serious about getting to know you, he will keep up the contact and make sure that he finds out as much about you as he can. He will use every opportunity to talk to you via text message, phone, or in-person.
Because he desires to be close to you.
You will receive a text message from him during his lunch break or a phone call when he is on his way home from work.
There won’t be long periods of time where he is MIA and you are wondering if something is wrong, instead you will feel like he is truly invested.
3. He progresses the relationship
We all know what it is like to be in a situation where it feels like time is standing still and after 3 or even 6 months of dating you are still not official.
That is usually the case with a man that does not want to commit and avoids the topic altogether. In that case, you can try to go from Situationship to Relationship using the steps I provide in my book, but more often than not this guy “a Type B guy” that has his mind made up and refuses to commit.
That is not the case when you meet a man that knows exactly what he wants and doesn’t fear to go after it.
A major sign that a man wants to be with you is that he will be intentional about the relationship. He will gradually increase the amount of time he spends with you and look for opportunities to increase his involvement in your life.
Instead of just going on evening dates once a week he will want to see you more frequently and for longer periods of time.
He will desire to spend more time with you and move from dating to courting quickly.
4. He is willing to slow down for you
Boundaries are the best way to find out a man’s intentions for you and figure out whether he is ready to commit or not.
If the guy that you are seeing respects the boundaries you put in place and still pursues you, then it means that he is truly interested in you and wants to see if the relationship has potential.
A guy that likes you won’t mind meeting your requirements if that means he gets to be with you.
He will understand that boundaries are not to punish him, but to protect yourself.
5. He opens up to you
This point might just be the most important one. Because it is actually a psychological sign someone likes you.
Men know that being in a relationship means that the woman they are with will be all up in their business. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Therefore, a man who is not ready to date you exclusively will avoid sharing vulnerable information with you out of fear of being hurt or rejected. He will give you superficial answers whenever you try to connect on a deeper emotional level.
But a man that wants a committed relationship will be willing to be intimate by sharing more of himself with you.
He will want to invite you into his world and share the things he loves, he fears and he desires with you because he wants you to be a part of that world.
6. He makes plans for the two of you
The next sign he wants a relationship with you, is that he will make plans.
A man that is serious about being with you, will book himself into your calendar. He will make sure that he gets to see you throughout the week.
And he will do so ahead of time because he knows that if he doesn’t, chances are that you might go on a date with someone else.
He might even include you in his existing plans with others if that means he gets to spend more time with you.
So, a man who truly wants to be with you will make you his number 1 option. He will show you his intentionality through his plans.
7. The relationship is peaceful
Point number seven is very important to identify whether a man is ready to be in a relationship.
Is the relationship peaceful and do things flow easily? Or is the relationship marked by drama and it feels like you are dragging things out?
A man that subconsciously does not want to be in a relationship will be harder to deal with. His attitude will be negative and things will seem off.
While a guy that is interested in you will do his best to make things happen and overcome challenges.
There will be no awkward gaps and no wondering whether you are on the same page or not. But instead, you can feel and see that he is truly interested in you.
His words and his actions will align, and you will feel in your gut that he is a good choice. Peace is the number one way how you know something is good for you.
So, if you feel peace in your heart about the man you are seeing, then he might just be the one for you.
8. He brings up the tough conversations
As I mentioned in the beginning, you can’t run away from uncomfortable conversations forever. Sooner or later you will have to bring up topics like commitment, marriage, and boundaries.
An obvious sign that a man wants a committed relationship is that he will be the one to bring up those tough conversations.
Instead of allowing any misunderstandings to lead to arguments and resentment. He will encourage heart-to-heart talks.
A man that is ready to be in a relationship, understands that challenges are part of it. And at the same time doesn’t allow them to ruin the love.
9. He is affectionate towards you
The last sign is a very obvious sign he wants a relationship. And that is that your guy will seek to be close to you.
From public display of affection to taking cute pictures, to spending romantic evenings together.
He will just want you around all the time. And it will show in his behavior and his affection.
Contrary to common belief, men enjoy companionship and affection just as much as women do. And they show it openly when they meet the woman they want to be with.
So, one way you can tell that he wants a relationship is through his body language.
But just because a man wants to be in a relationship, does not necessarily mean he wants a committed relationship that will lead to marriage.
Tell-tale signs he wants a committed relationship
To figure out whether your man does not just want a relationship to pass his time, but actually desires to commit for the long-term, you have to find out what season of life he is in.
Men have very different timelines than women.
Their desire to be married with kids oftentimes kicks in much later than it does for us. That’s when you hear about couples that have been dating for 5 plus years with no engagement in sight.
That’s why I suggest you observe and if needed have a very candid conversation about what his priorities are at the moment.
Does he see himself being married in the near future or is he determined to make partner at his firm first?
Does he have a long laundry list of achievements before he is ready to shift his attention to building a family?
Identifying the signs if he wants a relationship might not be easy but it is so important if you want to date with purpose.
I hope the above 9 obvious signs he wants a relationship will help you vet the men you meet and help you avoid getting too invested in men that are not ready to commit.
And if you need more insight into the male mind, then this is a life-changing read.