What are soul ties?
If you are familiar with Christian dating advice and teachings then you have heard about soul ties before, but might not really know what to make of them. It is said that we create soul ties when we have sex with another person. But I believe it starts way before. I believe it starts when your minds and hearts and soul connect.
The moment you meet him and things just flow. It’s the type of connection that you cannot explain. You don’t just vibe, but you think, feel, and behave alike. With him, you don’t have to explain yourself, because he already knows. You don’t have to hide behind a facade, because he sees right through it. You don’t have to change, because he accepts all of you.
It feels like you have known each other your whole life. Like he is the missing piece to your soul and now you are tied to each other.
However, there is so much more about soul ties that you might not know. Understanding this powerful bond between two people can enrich your life forever or protect you from immense pain. Read on to find an answer to your question “what are soul ties?” and how they build in romantic relationships.
What is a soul tie
Most people define a soul tie as a spiritual connection and a deep emotional bond. I have only experienced it once and can confirm that it formed due to a very intense spiritual, emotional, and physical relationship.
You will usually create a soul tie with a partner that played a significant role in your life. Sometimes the influence he has is positive and helps you heal and grow and other times his influence is bad and adds pain. Either way, you shared a deep bond.
How are soul ties created
Soul ties can be formed through a spiritual, emotional, and physical connection. Sometimes only one factor applies and other times all three elements are given in the relationship.
Spiritual soul tie
You can have a spiritual soul tie with multiple people throughout your life. A lot of times you will feel a spiritual connection to the person that led you to Christ. That could be the leader of your church or another member. But it could also be your boyfriend if the two of you dated with purpose and he played a vital role in your faith journey.
Emotional soul tie
An emotional soul tie often happens between good friends. If you have a best friend that you confide in regularly and share emotional challenges with, then it’s very likely that you have forged a soul tie. It’s the feeling of being familiar with the other person and knowing that your heart is safe with them. Of course, in relationships, your boyfriend is often your best friend and therefore you tend to create emotional soul ties with your significant other as well.
Physical soul tie
Last but certainly not least we have the physical soul tie, which is created by being intimate with one another. By having sex with your boyfriend you are not just intertwining your bodies, but also exposing the rawest part of yourself to him. You are naked in every way and that leads you to latch on to him and vice versa. Therefore, it is very common for couples to create soul ties if they are sexually active. Unfortunately, this soul tie is oftentimes the most destructive one when a relationship ends.
Ungodly vs. godly soul ties
While the bible does not mention soul ties specifically, given its spiritual nature, the Christian community does refer to them often. That’s why a godly soul tie is often defined as a spiritual connection that brings you closer to God and positively influences your relationship with Christ. Being with that person inspires you to seek Christ even more and deepens your connection to the Holy Spirit.
Contrarily, an ungodly soul tie will take you further away from God. You will either start to idolize your romantic partner or feel less connected and devoted to your walk with Christ.
Unhealthy vs. healthy soul ties
There is also no scientific evidence that soul ties exist. However, these deep connections do affect your mental and physical well-being. Therefore a healthy soul tie is an emotional bond that excites you, energizes you, and fills you up with peace. The relationship with that person makes you feel good about yourself and life in general. After being with him, you feel emotionally and mentally inspired.
An unhealthy soul tie, on the other hand, will leave you emotionally and mentally drained. After each encounter, you feel more anxious, confused, or exhausted than before. You basically feel disturbed and troubled.
How to identify a soul tie
In the beginning, your soul tie will feel like the side effects of being together or apart. If you are in a relationship, you might assume that you simply miss him on the days you don’t see each other. If you are broken up, you might just attribute it to the pain of the breakup.
Some of the symptoms of a soul tie are:
You feel connected to his emotions.
If you have a strong spiritual and emotional bond with someone you will oftentimes feel their feelings. Like a mother that knows something is wrong with her child, you will be able to tell the same. You might experience nausea or sudden stomach pain. And your mind and heart will tell you who this pain is connected to.
You can’t stop thinking of him.
Another sign of a soul tie is that you cannot control your thoughts anymore. Everything you do or see reminds you of that person and leads to a flood of emotions. Good and bad. It is like you are addicted to him and therefore dream of him all day long.
You feel anxiously attached to him.
This one is an unhealthy symptom of a soul tie, where you feel anxious and emotionally unstable without them. You perceive him to be the only one that understands you and has your best interest at heart. So much so that you want to be with him 24/7. You feel whole when you are with him, but incomplete when you are not.
What happens when the relationship ends
Unfortunately, not all romantic relationships between soulmates last. Sometimes that person is not meant to be in your life forever and when they leave it feels like you lost a piece of you. And what makes it worse is that despite the breakup you can still feel them.
You feel their pain like it is happening to you. It appears out of the blue and you cannot control it. You just know something is wrong.
That’s why when you break up with him you have to decide whether you want to break your soul tie or not. In most cases, it is smarter to break it, because of the pain of not having him in your life. In other cases, you might want to hold on to it, because you believe God will bring you two back together.
Whatever your decision is, just know that both scenarios hurt. Breaking a soul tie means gathering all your strength to remove every memory of him from your life. Keeping a soul tie means being reminded of how much you miss and love the other person.
How to break a soul tie
To break a soul tie, you need to first acknowledge and accept that you created one with him. You will be tempted to categorize it as infatuation or heartbreak. But if you experience unusually strong emotions it is most likely a soul tie. That’s when you want to try the following steps:
The first thing you want to do when you experience an ungodly or unhealthy soul tie is to pray for God to help you break it. Our spiritual connection is created and hosted by God. Therefore, he can help you overcome an unhealthy soul tie. By asking him to clean you from it and laying down your connection to your (ex-) boyfriend, he can guide you and heal you from it.
One of the main things that happen when we create an unhealthy or ungodly soul tie and the relationship falls apart, is that we feel wronged and hurt. Therefore, forgiving him is an important step. You have to remind yourself that he does not owe you happiness. You do. Therefore, releasing any offense or resentment will help you get back to peace.
Believe it or not, the only reason why a soul tie might still keep you in bondage is that you allow it to. Maybe you are still hopeful that you will reconcile or maybe you are still angry and can’t let go of the past. Whatever it is, you have to release it and then remove him from your life completely. That means deleting contact information and throwing out anything that could remind you of him. And most importantly, establish no contact with him.
Once you did these steps and repeat them whenever necessary, you will slowly feel a shift in your heart.
If you have ever experienced a connection like that before, then I’m sure you can relate to the points above. If you have not yet experienced a soul tie with someone, then you might want to save this information for later.
Remember that a soul tie can be a beautiful experience if it is with the right person. However, it can also be a painful one if it’s with the wrong person.