What are soul ties? Soul ties meaning explained.
If you are familiar with Christian dating advice and teachings then you have heard about the concept of soul ties before, but might not really know what to make of them.
I don’t blame you, because I didn’t know much about the different types of soul ties either until my life was flipped upside down last year.
It is said that we create sexual soul ties when we have a sexual encounter with another person. But I believe it starts long before you get into a sexual relationship. I believe it starts when your minds, hearts, and souls connect and you build a strong connection to each other.
The moment you meet him and things just flow. The type of connection that you cannot explain, but have to admit that it must be a soulmate connection. Because you don’t just vibe, but you think, feel, and behave alike.
With him, you don’t have to explain yourself, because he already knows. You don’t have to hide behind a facade, because he sees right through it. And you don’t have to change, because he accepts all of you.
It feels like you have known each other your whole life. Like he is the missing piece to your soul and now you are tied to each other. A connection on a deeper level that not all human beings get to experience. If we are lucky we forge a close relationship with family members and friends.
But only a few people get to experience soul connections and spiritual bonds.
However, there is so much more about soul ties that you might not know. Understanding this powerful bond and learning how to identify the signs of soul ties can help you forge healthy relationships, as well as protect you from a toxic relationship.
In this blog post, I answer the question “what are soul ties?” and share everything you need to know about spiritual soul ties.
Soul ties definition
While there is no exact definition of a soul tie, urban dictionary defines it as:
A spiritual/ emotional connection you have to someone after being intimate with them, usually engaging in sexual intercourse.
And even though many of us have heard of that term in a Christian context the bible never mentions the term soul tie, but refers at one point to “knitting of souls”.
What is the meaning of soul ties?
A soul tie is a spiritual connection or a strong bond on an emotional level between two people.
There are godly soul ties as well as ungodly soul ties, which oftentimes stem from past relationships. Married couples for example share a godly soul tie, while people in an ungodly relationship often create an ungodly soul tie.
You will usually create spiritual soul ties with a partner that played a significant role in your life. Sometimes his influence is positive and helps you heal and grow and other times his influence is bad and adds pain and trauma. Either way, you shared a deep emotional bond, even if it was just for a short time.
How do I know if I have a soul tie?
You know you have a soul tie with someone, when you feel connected to him emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. You constantly think of him and in many cases even dream of him.
At least that is what it was like for me and my ex-boyfriend.
It was almost like I could feel, hear, and smell him even after we were broken up. My memories of him kept triggering emotional and physical pain and I felt like I would never be happy again. At least not without him.
No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t let him go and that became very frustrating. Here I was trying to glow up after my breakup, but couldn’t. It was spiritual warfare at its best and I felt very drained and joyless for a long time.
Thankfully, after more than 1 year of emotional bonding, I figured out how to break my soul tie. I developed a very detailed routine of prayers, meditations, and journaling exercises that helped me get over him and finally move on with my life.
I’m not even going to pretend that it was easy, because it wasn’t. But I figured I could either continue to put my life on hold while feeling hopeless and sad all the time. Or I could finally do the work that would reap benefits in the long run and help me feel happy again.
So I did.
And I documented the exact activities, exercises, and tools I used as well. In the Untangling Soul Ties Worksheet, I share how you can start your journey to breaking your soul tie.
Download the Worksheet FOR FREE here.
What are soul ties in the bible?
The Bible does not specifically mention a term such as a soul tie. Therefore, the term soul tie cannot be coined as biblical. However, scripture does mention connections that appear similar to what we would identify as soul ties today.
In Genesis 2:24 the Bible explains that a man and a woman become one (through marriage). In 1 Samuel 18:1, the Bible mentions that the soul of David and the soul of Jonathan was “knit together”. And in 1 Corinthians 6:16, the Bible explains that we bond to one another when we are physically intimate.
All these different passages in scripture point to the concept of a soul mate as well as a type of soul tie.
Are soul ties real?
Because there is no real definition of soul ties or proof that soul mates exist, many people don’t believe it’s real. And I get it. It’s one of these things you can only believe when you see it, or in this case, feel it. You have to experience a soul tie relationship in order to understand its significance. And for that, you have to meet the right person to build a deep connection with.
How are soul ties created?
There are three different kinds of soul ties. Spiritual, emotional, and physical. Sometimes only one factor applies and other times all three elements are part of the relationship.
And contrary to common belief one type of soul tie is not better than another. Meaning that ties build through sexual intimacy are not always bad soul ties, and ties build on your spiritual journey are not always good soul ties.
Spiritual soul ties
You can have a spiritual soul tie with multiple people throughout your life. A lot of times you will feel a spiritual connection to the person that led you to Jesus Christ in a healthy way. That could be the leader of your church or another member of the congregation. But it could also be your boyfriend if the two of you dated with purpose and he played a vital role in your faith journey.
Emotional soul ties
An emotional soul tie often happens in close friendships. If you have a best friend that you confide in regularly and share emotional challenges with, then it’s very likely that you have forged a soul tie.
It’s the feeling of being familiar with the other person and knowing that your heart is safe with them. Of course, in relationships, your boyfriend is often your best friend and therefore you tend to create emotional soul ties with your significant other as well.
Physical soul ties
Last but certainly not least we have the physical soul tie, which is created with sexual partners. By having sex with your boyfriend you are not just intertwining your bodies, but also exposing the rawest part of yourself to him.
You are naked in every way and that leads you to latch on to him and vice versa. Therefore, it is very common for couples to create soul ties if they are sexually active. Unfortunately, this soul tie is oftentimes the hardest to break, especially if it was only casual sex and the relationship ends.
Types of Soul Ties
Ungodly soul ties vs. godly soul ties
Now that we know what the word soul tie means and how the different types of soul ties are created. The question becomes what are negative soul ties and what are positive soul ties?
A good soul tie is a godly soul tie that influences your relationship with Christ positively and brings you closer to God. Meaning, that person inspires you to seek Christ even more and deepens your connection to the Holy Spirit.
A bad soul tie, on the other hand, is an ungodly soul tie that takes you further from God. It will lead you to start idolizing your romantic partner or feel less connected and devoted to your walk with Christ.
Unhealthy soul ties vs. healthy soul ties
Even though there is no scientific evidence that soul ties exist, we know that any type of interpersonal relationship affects your mental and physical well-being.
Therefore a healthy soul tie is an emotional bond that excites you, energizes you, and fills you with peace. A relationship with that particular person makes you feel good about yourself and life in general. And after being with him, you feel emotionally and mentally inspired.
An unhealthy soul tie, on the other hand, leads to emotional stress and feeling mentally drained. After each encounter, you feel more anxious, confused, or exhausted than before. Because you have built this unhealthy attachment to him, a lot of your sense of self and joy is wrapped up in the relationship with your current partner or ex-boyfriend.
How to identify a soul tie
In the beginning, your soul tie will feel like the side effects of being together or apart. If you are currently in that relationship, you might assume that you simply miss him on the days you don’t see each other. If you are broken up, you might just attribute it to the pain of the breakup and not being in that person’s life anymore.
Whatever your current relationship status is, you will experience different symptoms of the soul tie.
Symptoms of soul ties
Soul tie symptoms manifest in different ways. Below are a few that I have experienced.
You get emotional
This symptom of a soul tie tends to appear more after the breakup than during a relationship. You may get emotional whenever you think of him and visit his social media. You may even have a hard time mentioning his name without breaking out in tears or experiencing a strong wave of sadness and depression.
If that is the case, it might be a sign of unhealthy attachments and that you need to break the soul tie in order to move on with your life.
You feel connected to him
If you have a strong spiritual and emotional bond with someone you will oftentimes feel their feelings. No matter if it was a good or bad relationship. You are connected on a spiritual level and therefore you feel him in real life too.
Like a mother that knows something is wrong with her child, you will be able to tell the same. You might experience nausea or sudden stomach pain and your mind and heart will tell you who this pain is connected to. In my experience, spiritual ties are much harder to break because they feel more significant and meaningful. You might believe that you’re meant to be together if you have such a profound sense of connection.
You can’t stop thinking of him
Another sign of a soul tie is that you cannot control your thoughts anymore. This person’s spirit is on your mind 24/7 and everything you do or see reminds you of him and leads to a flood of emotions. Good and bad. It is like you are addicted to him and therefore dream of him all day long.
You feel anxiously attached to him
This one is an unhealthy symptom of a soul tie, where you feel anxious and emotionally unstable without them. You perceive him to be the only one that understands you and has your best interest at heart. So much so that you want to be with him, regardless of whether he is good for you or not. You feel whole when you are with him, but incomplete when you are not.
Soul ties dreams
Even though dreams are part of the soul tie symptoms mentioned above, I think it deserves its own section. Because soul tie dreams are actually very common. It’s no secret that our minds will oftentimes process information during the night which then manifests in a dream. However, soul tie dreams are different. They are much more vivid and real. So much so that it’s normal to experience a strong reaction, like tears or even sexual arousal.
Can soul ties be one-sided?
I truly believe that soul ties can be one-sided as well as mutual. And a couple of years ago I actually wrote a blog post about one-sided love. That is when you love someone or have strong feelings towards them, however, they don’t reciprocate it.
Most of us have experienced these types of relationships and know how much they hurt. The only thing is that unrequited love is not real love, because love needs to be reciprocated to be real. Soul ties don’t.
You can feel strongly connected on a spiritual, emotional, or even physical level to another person without them feeling the same. I would even argue that sometimes you do not even have to meet them in person in order to connect to a person’s soul.
If you feel that someone understands you completely and that your own soul yearns for them then that is a soul tie.
A common example of a one-sided soul tie can be an internet connection. The anonymity allows you to open up in ways you haven’t before and thus creates a deep bond that the other person may or may not reciprocate.
However, as beautiful as a soul tie can be, a one-sided soul tie can be detrimental if the relationship can’t be sustained. Therefore, one-sided soul ties usually need to be broken while mutual soul ties can lead to long-lasting relationships or friendships.
Are soul ties mutual?
As mentioned above, a soul tie can be quite exhausting, because it constantly reminds you of the other person. And that becomes a problem if you are trying to move on and live your life.
You might even be asking yourself if it is God’s will for the two of you to be together if you are still connected. This makes sense because you built a strong bond.
However, love cannot be one-sided. Unless he feels the same, there is no way the relationship can work out. So, the question becomes: Are soul ties mutual?
I truly believe that soul ties can be mutual, but also one-sided. If you had an intimate relationship with someone based on real feelings and love, then chances are high that he is feeling the same tugging in his heart as you are.
And I’m sure you have all been in a situation before, where you thought of someone and suddenly that person calls or texts. So, if you have experienced that with a family member or friend before, you can also experience that with an ex.
Do soul ties affect men?
The truth is, men are not exempt from feeling soul ties, especially if it was a significant relationship for them. Just like women, they experience the pain of being separated, have soul ties dreams, and think of you sporadically.
However, in contrast to women, men are less likely to be led by their emotions and act upon their feelings. Therefore, a man that is experiencing a painful soul tie breakup may not contact you…right away.
So, yes a soul tie affects men as well, however, they usually don’t feel the effects until much later.
How do men handle soul ties?
It is no secret that men tend to approach relationships with logic and facts. Just because a man misses you, may think of you from time to time, and may even wonder what you are up to does not mean he will contact you.
Men will oftentimes allow the logical part of their mind to talk them out of their feelings. Meaning they will either cover up or numb their emotions to function better. That can be a good thing but also a bad thing, depending on the relationship that they are trying to forget.
Having self-control and resisting the urge to reach out to an unhealthy soul-tie is a great skill while numbing your feelings to forget a healthy soul-tie and moving forward from what could be a blessing.
So, how do soul ties affect men on a daily basis? A lot of times, a soul tie will manifest itself in depression for guys. He will feel low energy, have a constant feeling of melancholy and isolate himself. While he might not necessarily know why he is feeling down (unless it was a recent breakup), he might acknowledge that it has to do with loneliness or sadness.
What happens when the relationship ends
Unfortunately, not all romantic relationships between soulmates last. Sometimes that person is not meant to be in your life forever and when they leave it feels like you lost a piece of yourself. And what makes it worse is that despite the breakup you can still feel them.
You feel their pain like it is happening to you. It appears out of the blue and you cannot control it. You just know something is wrong.
That’s why when you break up with him you have to decide whether you want to break your soul tie or not. In most cases, it is smarter to break it, because of the pain of not having him in your life. In other cases, you might want to hold on to it, because you believe God will bring you two back together.
Whatever your decision is, just know that both scenarios hurt. Breaking a soul tie means gathering all your strength to remove every memory of him from your life. Keeping a soul tie means being reminded of how much you miss and love the other person.
How to break soul ties
If you are experiencing the above soul tie symptoms and are suffering from the pain then it is time to break that spiritual connection.
If you don’t you will remain in bondage to the person you created the soul tie with and have a hard time allowing new love into your life. That’s why I want to share with you how to break soul ties.
Before you start, however, you first have to acknowledge and accept that you created a soul tie with him. You will be tempted to categorize it as infatuation or heartbreak. But if you experience unusually strong emotions it is most likely a soul tie. And that’s when you want to try the following steps:
The first thing you want to do when you experience an ungodly or unhealthy soul tie is to pray for God to help you break it. Our spiritual connection is created and hosted by God. Therefore, he can help you overcome an unhealthy soul tie. By asking him to clean you from it and laying down your connection to your (ex-) boyfriend, he can guide you and heal you from it.
Having a daily prayer that gives you strength and peace will help you through the hard days when it seems like you can’t do it. Trust me, those days will come.
One of the main things that happen when we create an unhealthy or ungodly soul tie and the relationship falls apart, is that we feel wronged and hurt. Therefore, forgiving him is an important step. You have to remind yourself that he does not owe you happiness. You do. Therefore, releasing any offense or resentment will help you get back to peace.
Believe it or not, the only reason why a soul tie might still keep you in bondage is that you allow it to. Maybe you are still hopeful that you will reconcile or maybe you are still angry and can’t let go of the past. Whatever it is, you have to release it and then remove him from your life completely. That means deleting contact information and throwing out anything that could remind you of him. And most importantly, establish no contact with him.
Once you did these steps and repeat them whenever necessary, you will slowly feel a shift in your heart.
Ready to break your soul tie?
If you have been trying to get over your ex for a while but nothing seems to work, then it’s time to use a proven system.
A mix of exercises, prayers, and meditations that will not just help you be free from bondage to your ex, but also help you feel happy again.
You might need help with:
- Breaking free from bondage to your ex.
- Getting free from emotional and physical pain.
- Feeling happy, hopeful, and like yourself again.
And probably a few other things, too!
That’s why I created the FREE Untangling Soul Ties Worksheet.
A FREE Worksheet with action steps to help you identify and untangle your connection to finally let go of your ex.
You can check it out by clicking here!