3 Reasons why God ended your Relationship

One thing that I have in common with a lot of women is that I’ve been terribly heartbroken in the past. 

To this day I remember how I felt during my last breakup. I asked God to restore the lust my bad ‘love’ my boyfriend and I had for each other and prayed everything would get back to normal.

One week, two weeks, even three weeks later but the Ex hasn’t been touched by the Holy Spirit yet. Hmm, that’s odd.

I wondered what happened and felt like God had withdrawn his blessing from my relationship. So I got annoyed and accused God of misleading me.

‘But I thought he is “The One” and we are meant to be?’, ‘You said “whoever finds a wife, finds a good thing” and he found me on Instagram!’ (let’s be honest, that’s a good point). 

But no matter the fussing and fighting, the verdict was out. He’s not ‘The One’ God has for you!

Now what? Even though a ‘no’ is not always what you want to hear, God will say it at times. And I believe that there’s no need to be discouraged. Because a godly “No” can be very powerful and helpful to your growth.

Remember that every time God says “No” he has a good reason why and you just need to trust Him. That’s why today I’m sharing with you 3 reasons why God ended your relationship.

3 Reasons Why God Ended Your Relationship

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The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

1. It was only infatuation

Do you know the difference between infatuation and Love? If not, then that might be one of the reasons why God ended your relationship.

When I think back to my past relationships, I would describe them as emotional, intense and draining.

Am I mostly using negative descriptions to make a point? Maybe. But once you read the definitions of infatuation and love you will get the idea.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, infatuation is: ‘an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.’

According to the Bible, love is:

 ‘patient, kind. It does not envy, it does not boast and it is not proud. It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres and it never fails.’ (Excerpt of 1 Corinthians 13)

To break it down a little further, when we are infatuated with someone we feel like we are on an emotional high. We are blinded by our own desire for affection and their perfect appearance (so we think).

Only problem, neither the feelings nor our current state of being are sustainable and doomed to die down.

In contrast, when we are in love we agree to a long-lasting commitment to care for our partner. We are well aware of the other person’s flaws and don’t lean on them to make us happy.

Moreover, our love for them remains strong, even when the passion and emotions of the beginning are gone.

2. The relationship became an idol

The second reason of the 3 reasons why God ended your relationship is closely linked to the first one, yet worth pointing out again.

Idolatry is a sin we are repeatedly warned about in the Bible. An idol can be anything you desire more than God.

It could be a physical object like money. It could be a status symbol like success or beauty. Or it could be the approval of people. For women, it is oftentimes the desire to be married

The idols speak deceitfully, diviners see visions that lie; they tell dreams that are false, they give comfort in vain. Therefore the people wander like sheep oppressed for lack of a shepherd. – Zechariah 10:2

If your past relationship was the highest priority in your life and dictated almost every aspect of it, including your time, your focus, your finances and your walk with God then it was an idol.

Mind you I’m not talking about the actual person (which is possible too), more so I am referring to the relationship itself or let’s say the relationship ‘status’.

As someone who has a track record in getting into the wrong relationships (before I was serious about my walk with God), I can now honestly say that a lot of times I was in it for the wrong reasons.

Related Post: 10 Signs You’re Not Ready To Get Married Yet

My main driver for pursuing a relationship was oftentimes society’s pressure to be booed up. Making it work no matter what, became my focus and led me to compromise or even forget about my values and self-love.

I repeatedly caught myself dropping my godly standards to accommodate his nonsense behavior. I wanted to remain in a relationship so that I could showcase it to my Facebook Friends and continue using hashtags like #hisandhers #bae #lovemesomehim etc.

Stupid I know, but Instagram was life at one point. So how can you avoid making an idol out of a relationship and withstand its influence?

By questioning your heart’s desire and getting to the root of it! Ask yourself why a relationship is so important to you and then give it to God.

Once you understand the joy that lies in living for God and directing all your worship towards him you begin to love him so much that you refuse to pursue anything else but him.

3. You don’t know true Love

If you have been following me for a while, then you know I love sharing Inspirational Quotes. One day I came across this one and it made me think:

Most of us spend our lives trying to find love, trying to live in love but dying without ever truly discovering love.

This quote is taken from a chapter in Leo Buscaglia’s book Love: What Life Is All About. It describes a very basic human desire to love and be loved.

A quest every human being has been on at some point in his life. Even little babies long for proximity and emotional reassurance from their mother or father, which is provided through love.

At first, I connected with this quote because I felt like it was the story of my life. I thought back to the many times I desperately tried to make a relationship work and failed. I thought I just needed more patience while waiting on God

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this quote wasn’t talking about LOVE but it was talking about love.

The small, limited and worldly meaning of Love used to describe a relationship between a man and a woman. However, real LOVE is so much more than what we see in Disney movies and transcends the human definition.

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. – 1 John 4:8

As a believer, we have the honor to know and be in a relationship with the author, creator, and embodiment of love. 

What God has done for us and how much he values each of our lives, is an act of unconditional love. That’s why when we give our lives to Christ we are blessed to truly discover love.

A new relationship will only work if you discover God’s true love for you and love yourself as well as your partners the way God wants all his children to be loved.

3 reasons god ended your relationship

Maybe these three reasons played a vital role in your past relationships (I know they did in mine) and are the reason why God said no.

Luckily you and I are still young enough to learn from the past and use God’s wisdom to guide us to a yes.

Do you agree with these 3 reasons why God ended your relationship? Comment BELOW!

3 Reasons Why God Ended Your Relationship

98 Comments on 3 Reasons Why God Ended Your Relationship

  1. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I can contemplate this to the other divisions of my life when God says no to some. I believe God say no for one good reason. He has a better plan, he has a better choice for us to take in the future. Maybe we rushed too fast in things. And God doesn’t like it because it won’t go well.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Absolutely! Relationships are just one part of life, but there are so many more situations in which we might not understand God’s no. Happy that you could connect to it 😉

      • Well, actually God’s NO is not always definitive otherwise there would be many desires from the past which we would never achieve! So God’s answer to your desires can perfectly be YES but sometimes the YES is only meant for short time to help us and this desire might just be a tranistion to something better. It’s like praying and looking for a perfect dream job and a new job occurs on your journey but it’s not aligned with your desire, so it might just be a transition to a better job opportunity.

      • I’m going through a break up and it hurts real Deep this helped and I hope u can write me back thank you ?

  2. Hi Justine, my name is Emmy Young and I would like to Thank You so much for Understanding God’s No and helping me understand why he says no when it comes to relationships. I’ve been in two long term relationships, and one was my ex-husband, and the other an ex-boyfriend, in both relationships they happened to be very abusive, Thanks to God he led me the way out of both, I was so greatful!! So when you broke down the (why God says no) all makes sense to me. I love God with all my heart and soul!! With out him I would have probably had given up and had lost my life.
    Now I’m in a safe place and so greatful God has brought me back from the dead and restored my Faith in Love again! I’ve been relationship free for 2-1/2 years now loving myself again and it’s been a journey and a challenge! with God by my side each and every day I know he will bring the right relationship into my life! So I’m still waiting for God’s Yes????

    Love & Light

    • Oh wow Emmy, I’m so happy this post helped you understand God’s no better. A lot of our challenges only make sense in hindsight, but I know God will use your experiences for his glory. I will definitely pray for you to be strong in waiting for God’s yes. Be blessed!

  3. This is written to singles…and yet…I know I’ve fallen into some of these traps in my marriage, too! great reminder at the beginning of the year…great even if God has said YES to someone…but it also applies to when God says NO to something!

  4. I easily fell into the trap of idolizing relationships – even friendships. God said no to me regarding a group of friends I had to give up, as they were not good influences. It was hard to accept God’s no, but I’m so thankful for it now that I look back and understand how poisonous those relationships were.

    • I’ve been in the same situation before and even though it might seem hard, God’s best is always better than what we can imagine.

      • Hello, complement of the day.
        Reading through your write up made tears frop from eyes cause i wondered why God didnt speak to me on time or made me leave on time before i got this broken.
        I jad a relationship of 8years with a girl who always love, cherished and always pleaded with me to marry. I proposed to her on 03/06/2019 because i have grown to truely love her despite her faults but ever si;ce i proposed it has been issues after the other.
        Last one played out this august and we had a fight and told ourselves is over like before but this time for the first time in our 8years she locked up her mind like one seeing another man and this has lasted for 2weeks+.
        I spoke to her mum according to the woman she has been trying to talk to her to come to her senses but last monday i told the woman not to cakl her again because is obvious she now has another man. This is a girl i never cheated on.
        Am in so much pain and will so value your advice and prayer.
        Thank you for your time.

    • This is actually something that I’ve been battling with. Letting go of toxic friendships and although I’ve tried to go back…it just no longer feels the same. My trust is gone in them and they’re no longer #1 on my list to call first. It hurt for the first couple of months. But God healed and now I’m just waiting for Godly friends who share the same theology and godly love for friendships the way that I do.

  5. This was me several years ago! But only a month after accepting God’s ‘no’, I met a godly man who eventually became my husband! God’s ways really are better than our own 🙂

  6. What beautiful wisdom that you have learned. I can identify with what you have shared. It was only after I quit looking for a relationship that God brought me my heart’s desire. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

    • Yes but I’m to old now.Why did God wait 20 years to do this?He married even before we broke up.Why what was wrong with me?Im ashamed and hate trying to explain to people.When I don’t have the answer.

      • Kim, God did not do this to us, HE allowed it for our good somehow. Satan is the god of this world and he is the one who turned their hearts. It also happened to me too after 28 years. Yes I felt ashamed to but shame is on them forever, they will never be free and will ultimately end up in hell forever if they do not repent. I pray for my ex several times a day and he also has married his adulteress. It`s been 10 years (seems like yesterday)the pain is still there but GOD has used it to make me more empathetic and I have certainly learned how to pray,and the best thing I have ever experienced is being alone with GOD. We who know HIM will have an eternity of no more sorrow or pain HE will dry our eyes, so there still will be pain until the end. I will pray for you to find joy again and hopefully love, but then HE is LOVE and HE will never leave you or forsake you. GOD BLESS…..Psalm 37:4

  7. I think this post is a great reminder: even though we can’t see it, God always has a great reason when he tells us “no”. Sometimes we get to see what that reason is, other times we don’t, but regardless we can trust that God has our best interests in mind. God ended a relationship I thought was going to end in marriage. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I realize that the day I got broken up with was the best day of my life. It led me to a much better, healthier relationship that did end in marriage. I look back now and realize that God knew what he was doing, even if I didn’t understand it at the time.

  8. From past experience, be it relationships, or not, I have seen God say no, simply because He had better plans in store for me for the greater good. I think when it comes to relationships, we need to first have a firm foundation of love and trust for God, and instead of searching for someone to complete us, or just someone in general, that we live life fully, and see where He takes us.

    • I so agree Tatyana! I believe that God will always remove things that distract us from Him. That’s definitely a good point! Thank you 🙂

  9. I absolutely love this post! Hearing God say ‘no’ has been a hard challenge for me. I can be stubborn sometimes haha! When I release and let go, I normally learn to understand why God said ‘no.’ My college ex was terrible; he even ended up cheating on me. God’s no was so very powerful to me during that time. I jumped right back into the word and loving God and myself. I then met a Godly man after that. Everything was well and so different from my past relationships which were so bad for me. This one was opposite. I also believed He told me this man was my husband. We dated and recently broke up due to him pursuing the purpose that God gave him. We ended mutually, respectfully, and still terribly in love with one another. It has been a few months and I have learned that if we would have stayed together, I don’t think we would of ended so nicely due to work issues for both of us. God’s no has been exceptionally hard for me during this breakup… but, I’ve been hearing a ‘not right now.’ I’d love to hear your take on when God gives you a ‘not right now.’ There is still hope in my heart which hasn’t left. I know God may or may not bring him back to me and I’m in the midst of learning to accept it and trust God no matter what; either way I know God’s plan is greater than mine. Continuously praying for clarity through this rough situation, but your post comforted me. It made me realize I need to learn to continuously seek and love God more and more everyday (just like I did before I met my Godly ex). I know God is up to something good in my life! Just go to get through this valley! Thank you again! And if you do write a post on a “not now” answer from God, I’d love to read it. 🙂

    • Hi Christina, wow it’s such a blessing to hear your story. I totally understand how you must be feeling after your last breakup, but I think that God wanted you to know that there are godly man after his own heart out there. And I agree, sometimes a break-up pushes us even more into the arms of the heavenly father and makes us understand that his Love is the one we really need and can rely on. Even though I’m not going through a break-up or a love situation right now, I’ve been hearing God’s “not right now” a lot lately with regards to my purpose. You just inspired me to write about it and share my situation. I will definitely let you know once that post is up. If you haven’t subscribed yet I will remember to send you an email directly 😉
      Be blessed *Justine

    • Going through the same thing, my boyfriend of 4years recently said he needed space, I couldn’t believe it. He’s got so many issues with his work and also family. I couldn’t believe it. However Ive been feeling in my heart that right now we’re totally out of sync. I trust Gods plans for my life and I know at the right time he’ll bring us back together. I need to put God first in my life, to only worship His name. If we put our relationship with God first the rest of the relationships fall into place.

      • Hey Cnn,
        I absolutely agree. If both og you keep God in the center of your lives, everything else will fall into place. At the end you will appreciate having a partner that has overcome his challenges and can trust God no matter what.

  10. Hey Justine am greatfull to see what u wrote I learned alot
    U know what I have been in relationship for a year and half after that we broke up he was my first and I still love him but I know God’s no is for better I believe only that but my heart is still with him don’t know what to do with my heart

    • Hey Girl,

      I feel for you and know exactly what you are going through. It’s frustrating to know that God has something better planned when you can’t see it yet. One thing you can do is to pray for God to separate the spiritual bond/ soul tie you have created with your ex. Ask him to fill the void that the person left in your life with his love and thoughts. One scripture that will help you is: Romans 15:13

  11. Reading this makes me realize the things I did wrong. I idolized my girlfriend way more than god. Now that her and I are over, I realize that I don’t NEED her. But I still want her, I started going back to church after the break up, when I asked god to heal me he did it very quickly. Now, I still want to be with my ex because she’s a great human being, and honestly we never had many problems in the relationship, the break up was kind of surprising. But anyways, whenever I ask god if my ex was the one for me I get an overwhelming feeling of yes, just not right now, all over my body. And at night when I pray I ask him to continue giving me signs if she’s the one, and the next day or so I get a text or a call from her, or she’ll even come see me in person.. I think god just wanted me to realize he was more important and that he should come first, and now I do realize that. So is it possible he broke us up as a wake up call for me? And that he may put us back together ?

    • Hey Nicholas,

      I’m glad that this blog post could give you some understanding of your break-up. To answer your question, Isaiah 55:9 tells us that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts. So, neither you nor I can tell why the break-up happened. However, I am convinced that God always wants us to put him first, especially in our relationships.
      Good luck!

      • I feel like we’re going through the exact same thing. After the sudden breakup with my girlfriend of near 5 years, God showed me that I idolised the relationship more than Him.
        It’s been 3 weeks since the breakup, and I strongly feel that God wants us to continue to be together, but waiting is the hardest.
        God has changed me a lot since the breakup and I thank Him daily for it.
        But the waiting is extremely painful; but oh well, in His time.

        • Yh very true….the same was my case. My question now been whenever I pray about this even after we have ended I keep getting the feeling like a little voice telling me to be patient kind of have faith of a thing and keep praying about the situation? This guy I met him on fb after I prayed a short prayer for Mother Mary’s intercession at the time I was heartbroken. Initially I didn’t like the idea it had to do with fb and the fact the guy wanted to know me better and more buh something kept telling me it’s fine…like I was really scared and reluctant buh within me everything kept telling me his tge one buh its gonna be a very difficult task. So I decided to go on a little pilgrimage to pray about it when the whole thing was blooming and sincerely speaking it wasn’t easy at all all through but I kept praying to God about it. Well I got to uunderstand that dist was a huge barrier cause we stay in two diff. Countries. We kept trying to keep talking and knowing each other going on and off buh he couldn’t ask me out or date me properly cause of the huge distance. Well we tried pushing for almost a yr till I finally told him he could stop if he’s stop if he wants to cause I too could understand. We stopped talking since last month and I keep having the feeling that I should persevere and keep praying about it and that little voice or feeling am having pisses me off cause from the physical look of things we done but I don’t know for otherwise. Pls email me cause I don’t know again am confused. Thanks

  12. Justine, do you think God ever says no to say yes later? I am recently out of a relationship due to some mental/emotional issues my partner was working through. I have since pushed him to pursue the Lord to work through these things as I told him he is the only real source to our wholeness. However sometimes I strongly feel like we will be together again someday.

  13. Hi Justine
    Thank you so much for this article. My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and I find it so incredibly hard to let him go. He goes to the same church as me (different campuses at least so I hardly ever run into him) but he keeps wanting to be friends with me. I went a few weeks without talking to him but then I succumb to temptation and message him again and then it starts the emotional rollercoaster all over again. I say I have forgiven him but why is it so hard for me to get over him? I’m so stuck 🙁

    • Hey Stella,

      I’m sorry you are going through that. I believe you need to do what is best for you and not be friends with him. That doesn’t mean you have to ignore him but get some distance. 6 months is a long time to still be hung up on him and I believe that it won’t stop unless you decide to exit the emotional rollercoaster.

  14. God is not perfect, he also makes mistakes I believe. I’m still praying to God if He can give me my relationship back. It was a good one, which made me a better person. That relationship made me believe even more in the goodness of God, but after breaking it I have so much less believe in Him. His plan isn’t perfect; Why would He destroy the most wonderfull things in life? 🙁

    I hope I will once see if He really exists for me, I really do.

    • Hi Theresa,

      I disagree with you. God is perfect and so is his plan for our lives. I understand that it might seem hard to accept when things don’t go our way, especially if they made us happy. But God knows the beginning from the end and why your last relationship wasn’t meant to be. I challenge you to think of all the good things in your life that did happen, rather than the break-up. Also, use Romans 12:2 to gain understanding. Be blessed.Justine

  15. Hi there
    I recently broke up with my partner of 2 1/2 years. It’s not hurt me as much as it did when I went through my first heartbreak. Through out the years I’ve prayed to go for sign which have all come through dreams. They haven’t gone wrong so far accept this time. I prayed to god for sign about starting a relationship with my partner I had a dream of a us holding a baby boy so I went for it and started the relationship. However I had a miscarriage and while I was pregnant it felt off. I did pray to go and received a dream about having the miscarriage and a week later I did. I asked for sign after it and didn’t get anything I also asked sign that if me and my partner would stay together but didn’t get anything. Could go spilt us up for a while for us to come back together ? Or is he leading me somewhere else

    • Hi Lexi,

      thank you for sharing this with us. I believe God’s plan can be any of the above. However, I also believe that you should surrender this to him without planning your life according to an outcome. Move on from your past relationship by seeking God first and finding out what he wants you to do in this season of your life. Your past relationship had a very traumatic event happening and it’s important that you acknowledge and deal with that. Make sure that you heal completely while you are single so that you are ready for God’s best when he presents it to you.

  16. Hello.
    I recently cut off ties with someone I am affectionate about. I wouldn’t say it’s a breakup since we don’t actually have a label in the first place and I in part am too scared of commitments. But to be honest, I did cared for him. It would be a lie if I said that I wasn’t hurt and I did have an emotional downfall about it.
    I stumble upon your article and it did enlightened me. It really moved me and help me realized that maybe it wasn’t really loved in the first place, maybe it was just infatuation and that other societal factors did pressure me to going into this relationship.
    I really appreciate the insights brought up in this article.
    Thank You!

  17. Hello 🙂

    I must say, while reading I found myself taking notes and going down memory lane trying to understand some of the things that went down in a few of the relationships that meant a lot and lasted a while. I truly can see why God would says no and that my ” YES” is coming soon and like most things that contain love, I should be patient and wait on him…after all God’s time is perfect timing all the time!!!!
    I’d like to take this time to Thank you Justine, you truly have opened my eyes to a lot of matters that needed my attention… one thing importantly is to fall in love with God first and priorities my relationship with him first before anything, once I’ve achieved that; invite him into everything and every relationship I encounter… looking back I didn’t invite him or involve him which is selfish of me, cause once things got bad I’d always run back and cry to him 🙁 but from here on I see things differently and promised myself to be patient (with the good and bad) wait on him and to involve (pray/speak) him in EVERYTHING I DO! big or small <3

    • Hi Hillary,
      I’m glad this post helped you identify areas you can work on next time. And I agree, if you invite him in and allow him to guide you, you will never look back and regret again.
      Be blessed,

  18. Hi Justine,

    Thank you so much for the article. I was with my high school sweetheart for 5 years. We are both currently 24. We were each other’s first and everything. We were so happy until he started calling, texting, and seeing me less. I was confused and unsure what to do so I would ask “why aren’t you calling me?” “why aren’t you seeing me?” And so forth… He would say he was busy with work, or school, or his mom. It got so bad that we were only seeing each other once a week when we only lived 10 minutes apart. We never had infidelity issues and I’m sure that it was not that. Some people are skeptical, but like I said, I know. I just think that he had grown tired of me, of us, of the same routine. It has been a year and 3 months since the break up. He broke up with me in a long drawn out text basically saying that he wasn’t ready for kids or marriage which we had both disscussed enthusiastically in the past. He also said that he was so busy and his schedule wasn’t going to change, basically picking everything else over me. Wow was I hurt and confused. Living life on auto pilot was all I was doing but something happened in the first 3 months of the breakup. I got closer to God, felt His peace washing over me, refusing to let me be sad. I got a new job, I gained more confidence in myself, I got used to being alone and even began to enjoy it, i got to travel to a new place that I’ve always wanted to go, I was even able to realize my flaws in the relationship. I drank too much, I wasn’t very good with money, I was desperate for his love just to name a few but someone who loved me couldn’t just walk away from me because of those things could they? After he sent the break up text, I never heard from him again despite my pleading. Exactly a year after the break up i was in such a good place that I reached out to him. I texted him to say that over the course of the year I realized that it was best that we break up and I thanked him for letting me go and allowing me to find true happiness and I wished him the same. I wanted to be the bigger person. His response? “I’m happy for you.” And that was that. I felt a certain freedom and have continued to go on living my life for God. But lately, it’s been weighing on me again here and there. You know the rollercoaster of emotions, you think you’re just fine and then it all comes crashing back down on you again. Those days are hard but ive been able to make it through them. Until now, recently I fell very ill. I went to work this morning and my manager sent me home because of how bad I looked. Ive been fine for a while but a few hours ago, I fell into a deep sleep and i had a dream about him. It was just us, in a room, looked like a basement, but we were just hanging out, enjoying each others company like the good old days and we were in love too. It was so vivid and it felt so good to see him again. I woke up crying and I thought to myself, “I’m tired of being strong, I miss him.” I’m in tears as i type this now. And just thinking about how sick I am, I thought to myself “if anything happens to me and i go now, my perfect idea of Heaven would be first and foremost to be with God but secondly, it would be a place where my ex would want me again and we could be together, happily ever after. Ive often heard that when you go to Heaven and arrive at one of the many mansions, you get your room and your room is filled with everything you’ve ever wanted and so I imagine God opening the door for me and seeing my ex standing there, smiling, wanting me. I know it is too much to hope for but I wanted to share my feelings because, after i woke up crying, I went on an internet search as i have often done in the wake of the break up and its been articles like these that have helped me through a great deal. I put into Google “that God says about the man who left you” I was subsequently led here and so i just wanted to share my story and say thank you, Justine. Please pray for me, for him, for us. If there is an us to be. I’m not saying I’d take him back like that but I have developed a spirit of forgiveness and patience and it could happen one day. I may be a fool for hoping but I’m tired of being strong and pretending I’m okay when I’m clearly not. I miss that man but i won’t reach out, not because of pride but because i know that if it is to truly work out again, he has to want me and so i force nothing anymore. This article has been very healing and your words have been encouraging. Thanks again Justine. God bless you. Also, I tried to sign up for the email subscription but i got raked to an error 404 page? Id still like very much to sign up so please let me know ????

    • Hi Catora,

      thank you so much for sharing. I think you are doing the right thing by surrendering the relationship to God and not forcing it. It’s been a year and you did well by using the time to focus on yourself. Continue to do so in order to build your self-esteem up and create a life that you love. There is no benefit in wondering ‘what if’, but instead let go.

      I’m sorry about the failed sign-up. I’m adding you to my newsletter manually now 😉

      Love & Light

  19. God told my beat friend(girl) that we can’t be together. After reading those 3 reasons why god says no. It made since. My questions is if me and her work on god and trust him and love him give our 100% could god “change” his mind and see that me and her have working hard to “idolize” the other and he could say yes? Like could his no but a no for the time being or forever?

    • Hi Gabe, God is a God of grace. I believe that the best is to repent and do your best to glorify God with your relationship.

  20. Hi Justine
    I I’m a man that had to reply to your article and it helped me understand as a man that has to except God’s no.
    I’ve always knew to put God first and I got blinded by a person that played my heart with infatuation.a very hard lesson to learn and reading your article will keep my heart in God’s hands. Thank you Justine

  21. U know I met a guy online, long story short u wouldn’t think this happens to u on a Christian dating site ecsp after u CLEARLY state u want marriage and kids and follow Christ. Found out he was using me as a back up plan and was in love and waiting for someone else and just came online to use me till the time the love of his life said yes. I prayed God would take him away from my life but as months went on to almost a year God Dnt and I realized he was using me so I dumped him. I understand I kept stalking him on Instagram as I felt that was my only way to find answers, I disobeyed God and the man turned cold towards me. I heard God after almost a year to let him go , I obeyed. But I’ve been so angry and God and that man. Do u think if I prayed for that man to change that would be the best revenge ? Or do u think I’m disobeying God as He asked me to let him go. Any answers on this guys?

  22. Sorry guys I’m gonna repost as I wanted an honest opinion and realized I need to be detailed . I’m open to negative or positive feedback. I came out of a physically and emotionally traumatic relationship four years back which was for six years. After that I stayed single, I met some men but Dnt go for them as I was waiting on God for the right man to come along. I prayed and many men came along but I let them go as God showed me at a very early stage they weren’t good Christians. Anyways a year back rejecting a whole bunch of guys online I came across a man who contacted me and I quite liked him ( this is a Christian dating website) but as usual I prayed that God would take him away if he wasn’t right for me but God Dnt this time!!!! So I took a risk and went along with the flow. We met and he seemed to really like me and we dated a lot but hey, coming from an abused background and seeing my father ill treat my mom I Dnt have trust in this guy so even though things went well and I felt a lot of peace when we use to chat I stalked him a lot on Instagram and it became a bit too much !!! He Dnt ask me anything about my past or any deep questions which I found weird but after praying God still Dnt take him away so I Dnt look at it as a red flag. He told me he has a shy problem. So I tried to do my best to get him out of his shell. He told me his parents were missionaries and that he was a very strong believer. He is 11 years older than me. I’m 31. And he 42. After stalking him which I shouldn’t have done I discovered he only use to like two women’s photos from his entire friends list. One woman since 2016 and me whom he just met a year back. One thing is that I’m blessed with brilliant intuitions and have never been wrong .i realized he wasn’t in love with me after seeing this but with this women and was waiting for this woman and as soon as she would say yes to him he was gonna dump me. He Dnt make too much effort I felt in meeting me up after some months so I Dnt bother but when he continuously use to write me as it was long distance I took him seriously. I was moving to his country in exactly one year and decided to tell him after he told me he likes me very much and wants to have a serious relationship with me. He sounded happy. Then I stalked him again and realized this woman and him went to their home country at the same time. No pics together. When he came back he told me he likes me a lot but is unsure and couldn’t articulate why! I was furious and I knew I was his back up plan when he told me this. I ended it as I heard God say let him go. I know I was wrong to stalk to get my answers but how else would I know if he is another creep like my ex? I also couldn’t understand why God kept this going for so long if I was his backup plan. I was hurt with God and with him. Do u think if I pray for him to change that would be the best revenge or disobedience to God after God told me to let him go? Also I felt God tell me “His timing is perfect it’s better to wait a while and have things fall into place than rush and have things fall apart” also that he wanted to let go of him to avoid further future pain and hurt. Now after feeling this I was puzzled why God let me go through this mess again after my trauma is this guy is gonna be this bad ? Pls let me know what u think of this , and what these words I felt mean also whether stalking is it that bad if the profile is public anyways to get answers?

    • Hey, Justine. I have been in an on and off relationship with a man. There were times when he constantly wanted to see me amd times when he didn’t even bother to text me for days. The problem was my happines depened on this guy. So there where days I loved life and days I just hated life respectivly.
      Last week I decided I will move away from him and find happines in God, because he is always there for me. And that journey is still breaking me to this day. Its so hard to just walk away from what you believed was your world just to find comfort that is everlasting.
      But the good news is. God is faithful and he is there for me, he restored my sleep and though I still hurt he tells me he loves me and will never leave.

      • Hey Rebecca, I’m so glad you took the first step to breaking the soul tie between that man and yourself. Your happiness and self-worth should not depend on anyone else but yourself. By building a strong relationship with Christ you are taking the necessary steps to grown into the best version you can be. And if you need help with the next step, feel free to check out my 1 on 1 coaching course ‘Becoming The One to attract the one’.

  23. I met a guy, he is my classmates and I never thought that he will like me. I’m a believer and he’s not. I prayed before we getting closer, i said ‘Lord, don’t me fall for any guy if he is not the one.’. But then, this feeling inside me getting stronger and love him more everyday. I know his weakness and problem, even personal problem. He hurts me but i keep giving him chances and still love him. But that moment, the feeling i only keep to myself. We were just start as a friend. And I did pray to God i said “Lord, if he is not the one, please don’t let him confess his feeling towards me in any way. “. 2 or 3 months later, he confessed to me. This is confusing. A month ago he planned to do Nose surgery and do ear piercing. It breaks my heart, and idk why. I prayed to God to touch his heart. He have ear piercing but i keep pray for him, a week after that he told me he change his mind about doing nose surgery and he took off his earings.

    • Hi Haera, I understand your dilemma. However, a lot of times we will justify our actions based on something we prayed for. Use the word of God to analyze a situation first, before you use ‘signs’ you prayed for. Blessings, Justine

  24. Hi Justine,
    I have been in a relationship for 3 years. I have always been a Christian however I was living in sin and slightly taking a step back from church thinking it was okay and not truly putting weight on being obedient to God. I’ve got a chronic illness and have been praying for healing and I got a word from God saying obey me and I will heal you – open your ears and when I tell you to talk, talk and when I tell you to pray, pray. Shortly after I had a feeling that my relationship was not right and we needed to break up. I knew I needed to make some changes. I told my sister and she said she had a dream that I told her I’d broken up with my boyfriend a few days before, she has been known to have godly dreams in the past. I told my boyfriend and he is super supportive about the changes, I basically moved out, he has been praying himself and has come to Christ. It’s still early obviously but he’s been coming to church and getting involved in life groups etc. But through all this I still have this uneasy feeling and know that I cannot continue the relationship without God’s blessing. It’s also hard because I struggle with anxiety so it’s hard to tell what are my thoughts and what are words from God. At this point I’m putting a lot of weight on the dream my sister had. I guess I’m not sure if this was what God was telling me to do or I’ve mixed it up some how because our relationship is not toxic and we’ve both said we would leave each other if we truly believe God was telling us to so we know we aren’t idolising each other. He has a kind heart and has always treated me extremely well. I guess our task now is to see if we can glorify God together because that’s what marriage is for. Right now I’m just waiting in prayer. Your thoughts would be much appreciated!

    • Hi Stephanie, thank you so much for sharing. I believe you are taking the right steps by repenting and asking God to be the center of your relationship from here on now. One thing, however, that sticks out to me is that you are fearful, doubtful and anxious. All these are not emotions or feelings that come from God. You have to seek Jesus and ask him why you are afraid? Even if your sister had a prophetic dream, that dream is only supposed to confirm something God already shared with you. So ask him for a divine revelation. Until then make sure your relationship honors him in every way. Love & Light Justine

  25. Im so heartbroken too I was in a relationship for 5 months .My boyfriend and I wanted to be pure in all ,so he told me God wants us to break up in oder for us to really worship him in truth.I’m still wondering cuz everything was fine and we even prayed together. I believed God led me into this relationship. Now this

    • Hey Pile, I’m sorry to hear that. However, I’m a little confused. If you say you guys were honoring God with your relationship, then I don’t understand why he would break up…

  26. Justine thanks to your insight there is something for anyone to learn here.
    Yet I do think there are many circumstances we humans allow to overcome us whether by our own weaknesses or by fear perhaps even self esteem is resoundligly common among circumstantial reasons that hold no candle and instead snuff loves flame passion met with another. These reasons are often if not always built upon lies far from the truths that we fall in love in the first place. The difference is easily found in myself and that regarding three relationships I experienced and the third still am asking God portion first where He sent her back unto me as though we both felt true love since we love God and ourselves the outer circumstances are the haunting factor created by other people unable to accept what reality is and pursue to tear our love and lives apart.
    As anyone with less vendetta and hatred would not do such and move forward as we are trying to do, yet turmoil seems to trap at each turn and ut is nerve rackingly uncalled for where lawful offices had to get involved and do little to cease the antics of it all.
    It has caused us damage and we had no choice it seems to stay apart
    in painful agony of what we both know and feel.
    God answered my prayers ringing us reconciled under the potent circumstances of something evil seeking to destroy us.
    Both of us shared the bond most will or may not ever find and this is now in Gods hands. The first two relationships I was young and my neigbor an older woman very much took infatuation and advances which taught me the acute difference of the two
    love is as Corinthians 13 speaks of.
    Infatuation is such as well.
    I learned the latter first trajic as it was. I have also been married 27 years that ended horribly with many aspects of the ex looking at surface only and she benefitted with my home taken among other possesions owned I walked out unhappy and flat broke with only clothes and my car.
    In finding that my marriage failed I was also alienated from my children where lawyers proved it in court and the system swallowed me whole yet ever
    still to no avail the loss of kids in this heavily contested divorce are lost.
    I entered the 3rd relationship with a long time friend after about 5 months after separation. I did feel it was as is
    and God in His time was telling me this is no ordinary friend. I feel the same way and its nearly too odd to not be true

    • In my marriage it failed due to neither of us taking care of enough
      and we were married because we got pregnant and out of duty suffered along the way 27 years of toxic blame and never holding to ascension love has from God unto us as marriage is a bonding with God and united in His word.
      We even went to church taight Sunday class and took volunteer work in what we thought we were supposed to do.
      It grew worse and depression settled in.
      Mine was held a little better coped with as I sought God still I found things to enjoy in life wed missed and should engage in. She took hers much harsher and tore herself up to the point of controlling and manipulative tactics where it left me to ask before I decide
      to do anything. This took away my self worth and the longer it lasted or I endured the worse it seemed easy for her to control as if I had no voice left to decide for myself what I wanted and how painful it was to recover from.
      Love is God indeed and it was He I asked of my third and current relationship
      to bond in if He willed it so.
      He has and yet more over now others worldly pursuit has caused much suffering in a diffrent way.
      I take to prayer and ask you lift up both my lady and myself to rely and unite trusting God over circumstances and situations plotted to deliberate means to end us and in such causing greater heartache that I have ever felt.
      I leave it to Gods hands and ask prayers from my soul and my heart. thank you Justine

  27. Well it is very sad today how the women have really changed for the worst of all nowadays compared to the old days when most women back then were definitely very old fashioned and real ladies altogether, which made it very easy for a man looking for love at that time. Today feminism has really taken over unfortunately which makes these kind of women now just very awful to meet. A lot of changes in the women nowadays compared to the past.

    • Hey Paul, thank you for sharing. I agree that a lot has changed since the ‘past’, but I disagree that it is all for the worst or can be blamed on women entirely. I pray you meet a number of women that will change your perspective and give you new hope. Love & Light. Justine

  28. Justine,
    My boyfriend and I had dated for over two years when he broke up with me. I was broken, but through it I grew in my relationship with God. A month later we got back together and it was amazing. Our relationship was much healthier and we were even discussing marriage. But a year after we got back together he broke up with me out of nowhere. I was totally shocked. All he said was that he wasn’t sure I was the one. But I feel completely different. Ever since our first breakup I felt God many times telling me he was my future husband. I was so and still am in love. I’m unable to move on when I still feel such a strong feeling that he is the one. Why would God allow us to get back together in the first place just to tear us apart again? And why are we both hearing different things from God? I just don’t understand

    • Hey Amanda,

      I’m sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, I can’t answer your question, because I don’t know what God’s plan for you is. But I pray that you are able to trust him even in the midst of uncertainty. Allo your ex-boyfriend time to think about the relationship and you, so that he can make the right decision, after all, you do not want to be with someone that does not love you back.


      • Hi Justine
        Your blog was such an inspiring read and brought me so much peace knowing that there’s a plan far bigger than me and my ex.
        Even though the circumstances around my break up weren’t great. I’m thankful because the time apart has brought so much growth in my life…Before I was uncertain about committing in marriage because of the issues we had, but after time apart now I’m sure!
        My communication with him now would be a lot different than it was before; I’ve learnt to resolve issues in love and reflection rather than emotions & intensity.
        There are some great examples of relationships God sent (Rachel, Ruth) but if something has been torn apart, is it possible for doors to be reopened, after you’ve already had the opportunity and failed?

        • Hey Sarah, I’m glad the post helped you understand the break up a little better. Regarding your question: I do believe that God can change people’s heart and re-live a relationship. However, don’t make that your goal and obsess over it, because that will only lead to you making your own plans.

  29. Me and my girlfriend are christian , togther since 4years , study in same place , but when she finish her exam she left me to her native place to spend her holiday , there she got touch by holy spirit , she never talk to me telling me that she cannot understand herself and wanted to make sure her linkage with God first , Even though we are in relationship , we use to put God first , pray , go to church and became Holy until marriage , but now im hurt , even though i can sacrifice her with all my heart to God , as Im afraid of God , even though I trust God , I ask him answer why he did this to us , Im just waitting for her with Patience hoping she will talk to me and explain an share what she got. But im full of pain an God still gave me the answer. Its been a week , and Im dying inside . Someone please explain this issue for me … Please

    • Hi Isaac,

      I’m sorry you are going through this. I can’t explain why it is happening, but I know you can trust God that it happens for a reason. Use this time to do the same as your girlfriend and deepen your relationship with God. Even though a breakup can be hard, you never want to feel like it is leaving you hopeless. With regards to her, give her space and allow her to think about you and the relationship. After all, you do not want to be with someone that is not 100% sure about you.


  30. Hi Emmy. I am going through a similar scenario. After over 2 years, I am learning again about God’s plan and how it unfolds. I am at a stage where I am learning to love myself and God again. Trust and time are the answers….

  31. My ex break up with me 6 months ago, and i still couldnt move on. Called him and he dont even wanna be friends now. I prayed and prayed very hard. He left because he said he couldnt handle long distance relationship and i felt my response back then was too immature or else we could still be friends. So now i really really just want to be friends with him after praying to God asking him to love me back and all, now i just want to pray for him to just stay relevant in my life. Like a friend. Is it wrong to do so? Will God still say no to this?

  32. I am going thru something atm. So I met someone on a Christian dating site. We started talking and praying together and reading Christian books and we both encourage each other in our Christian walk. But God has said to this person that he is going in a different direction to what God has planned for him.. And I am struggling to understand what that means for us, and the possibility of a future there..

    God always told me patience and to trust him.. but what I don’t understand is why God would say that if he knew that I am not supposed to be with this person.. I mean I’m not even sure if there is the possibility of a future there or not, I don’t know if I hope for the best or if I let the feelings go and stay friends..

    But why wouldnt God say something so I didn’t develop feelings and get more hurt….

    I don’t understand…….

    • Hi Leeisha, there is only one way for you to understand. And that is by asking. Ask the young man WHAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE? If he wants a relationship, then the two f you need to establish what it should look like. And if he just wants friendship you have to set boundaries, so that you can protect yourself from falling for him.

  33. Hi. God bless you for sharing this. I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do and I’m confused. I broke up with my Ex 2 years ago but I feel so tied to him. Yes, it felt like love but I idolized him and I had to take a break. It’s hard to move on. Now, there’s a godly man in my life, but I feel absolutely nothing for him. I have tried and prayed to God to help me love this one since I have a conviction that he’s “the one”. Yet nothing, it feels like I’ll end up regretting this if I go on with it. on the other hand, I feel. it’s right. The question is why do I feel absolutely nothing for him If He’s the right one? Is it possible for God to give us people we feel nothing. That’d be unfair. It’s been 4 months now. It’s not just working. I need help!

    • Hi Eunice,

      if you feel absolutely nothing for him, he is not the one. Don’t stay with someone because it looks good on paper (he is Christian etc.). That will only lead to pain for both of you and it’s not fair to the man you are dating. If you still feel for your ex, you should not be dating, but instead, keep working on untying your souls. Love& Light

  34. I have been in a few relationships and needless to say, none of these worked out. Basically I never loved any of them. I also was never interested in getting married to any of them. I was sort of happy and safe on my own and made peace that I will grow old without a soulmate. I believed that I was incapable of loving any man. Then my path crossed with someone I hadnt seen in 30 years. He was at that stage an acquaintance and I never had any feelings for him. He gave his life to Christ a year and a half prior to us meeting. We fell in love instantly. I knew this is the man I want to marry. I was disobedient to God by having a sexual relationship with him and God told me many times that He is going to remove this man from my life because i do not put God first. And God kept His word. This guy just stopped loving me overnight. I repented and asked God to heal my relationship with thia man. I also asked God to confirm that this guy is my man. God confirmed many many times. I still receive promises from God that He will restore us and that it will be better than before. Yet, praying and fasting for more than 3 months, there is still nothing. I keep on getting messages that my breakthrough is on the verge of manifistation. I have come to the end now. I cannot do this any longer and feel that Gods blessings and promises are only for some people. Maybe super human people. Im confused about everything and rather want to die so that the pain would stop. Anyway, thats my story, that God removed him because of my disobedience and it seems that i will pay for my mistake forever.

    • Hi Menesty, this situation sounds very tricky and I understand that it must have been heartbreaking. However, it sounds like have a lack of trust in God. Do you truly believe that he can provide for you or are you hiding behind your ‘cynical’ idea of what you think life should look like? Truly ask yourself where your faith lies and do the hard work of believing in God’s goodness for your life! I will pray for you. Justine

  35. Hi Justine,

    Do you have any tips for getting over infatuation? It seems impossible at the moment and it’s hard to forget someone and the emotional highs associated with them, like how happy I felt with them and such. It’s complicated because the relationship was forcibly ended when we were still in a “lovesick” state with each other. How do I move on? 🙁

    • Hi Sarah, that’s a great question. I do understand that this stage felt very close to a real relationship. But the one thing I would suggest you do is to remind yourself every day that it was not love. Because reality is, if you met someone else today you would probably end up feeling the same thing. Other than that, check out my post on overcoming heartbreak to find some practical tips to get over someone. Love & Light

  36. Very Profound words Sistah Queen. I Have a friend who went back to a guy who had so many things wrong but due to her need to feel love. Me and a few other friends and family members prayed for her deliverance. One of the things we have to look out for and pray over is separation of soul ties. That alone can cause blindness in a relationship.I pray that everyone may find a agape type of love vs the selfish me and my feelings type of love.

  37. Yes that sounds like the relationship that I was in over a year ago.
    Wow ….
    The praying and asking God to get wya back together and the whole nine yards of your story was mine …. still haven’t reconciled with him til this day ….. wow .

  38. I am going through a similar situation. We were together for a year and a half and out of no where he said he couldn’t do it any longer. It hurts bad because I was just so sure he was the one but in all actuality I was idolizing him and the relationship, ending over backwards and I am just so hurt

  39. My prayers for God to answer about men I’ve dated have come in his time and have been answered in a way I could understand them. Bringing me peace and drawing me closer to him. The first almost took my life by his hands but my pleas to God to save my life was answered seconds later as a neighbor heard my cries and police soon beat on my door as I was being taken into attic. This was almost three years ago. Still awaiting trial. I thought I’m ready to pursue a relationship after what I felt like being healed, however, the second man came into my life but with another form of abuse. Mentally attacking me and degrading me. It’s so easy to feel unloved and unworthy when you don’t know God’s love or love yourself.It opened my eyes and know through God all things are possible. Ended that relationship without hesitation but much prayer and therapy. It is in his time, through his wisdom and grace, that if I am to be in a relationship, God will bring the right person to me at the right time.

  40. Omgosh, while reading this, I felt like God was speaking to me through this while I was crying I just couldn’t put this down. This is my life now as I write this.Thank you Lord for bringing Justine’s blog to my attention. Thank you Justine for your beautiful insight on Love and the real meaning of Love, God!😊🙏

  41. I know this may seem naive but at 15 I met the sweatestest girl in the world.of course we were young and on my part that’s what screwed everything up. I didn’t realize I had pure love there. Weird thing is I always carried something for her in my heart. It’s now 40 years and she’s still there through 3 failed marriage s. Going through a horrible time right now. It may seem crazy but she comes to me in my dreams every night.she smiles, runs her hand thru my hair and looks in my eyes as if to tell me ” don’t worry everything is going to be ok”. Then she gets up and walks away. When I try to follow she turns and smiles and says ” not now Rocco”
    I miss her incredibly but have found something incredible with these dreams. Peace. I’m also a bit and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a bit scared. Whhy won’t she let me go with here?
    We never had any contact of any sexual nature at all. We just enjoyed each other’s company. I never saw her again. The great loose of my life. Again we may have been just 15 but to remain in my heart for 40 year!
    Thank you for helping me THROUGHT this night

  42. Thanx a lot Justine. I so relate to these reasons especially the second one. The relationship ended years ago but I was still thinking about him.
    Now I understand thanx.

  43. Hi Justine, my current partner is Christian and I wasn’t. I had a yearning and loved that about her. Her commitment I mean. But I gave myself to Christ. I saw that as the way I needed to live my life, in Christ. But she constantly questions my faith. I told her to please stop questioning it. I go to church with her, pray everyday together. She refuses to see that my lack of religion most of my life didn’t mean I wasn’t close to God. Well, I have committed clearly and it isn’t enough for her. I got very upset and said some unkind words which I’m not proud of, but I just felt to disrespected by having my sacred relationship with the lord constantly questioned by the woman that supposedly loves me. What do you think about this situation?

    Thank you.


  44. I want to offer a bit of advice to everyone searching for marriage/relationship help. Me and my husband had a rough time for a decade; all our family & friends constantly advising us to get a divorce but we knew it would break our children’s heart. We tried so many different things to save our marriage and from trial & error we came across a very helpful Love solution spell temple on facebook page reviews that love spell from this temple works, I contacted the spell priestess and purchased a spell to bring love and happiness in my marital home and now we are happily together like we just got married. Love solution spell temple powers are strong. My Husband became so passionate about our love and more into me… lol Just like being in my teen.

  45. God is always in control we may have our own plans and thoughts of what our future will be but God knows our beginnings, in betweens and end. My Fiance left me and our children suddenly my life was perfect I had it all. But I actually didn’t… my relationship was my idol God was placed on the back seat while I pursued my relationship. I now praise God as I’ve become closer to the Lord now that I’m alone with my children I’ve learnt to place our Heavenly Father above ALL Things. It still hurts that he walked out on Us but each day I rejoice as Gods Blessings have been poured upon me and my children in all areas of our lives hes a Good good Father hes always with Us.

  46. Hi Justine,
    So, a few years ago my boyfriend at the time and I went to prayer meeting every week. The pastor delivered a prophetic word to us together saying that he will ask me to marry him and that we will have a child together etc..she went on to say that when he asks me to marry him..she hears me saying- boy stop playing..( as I always joke around with him) But he’s not playing this time and we will be married..however, before this will happen our relationship will turn for the worse and begin to fall apart..reason being there will be people around him that are dress in sheep clothing..meaning the devil is going to try to distract it in every way possible and through people that he has known for years or is kin too. Well About a month and a half ago he decided to leave and break up with me for a miscommunication. Again, It has been a month and a half and every time I ask him to come back home he claims he wants to get himself together and he feels we should try something different. I normally do the calling to check on him but sometimes he don’t respond nor text back. I reminded him of our prophetic word and his response was it’s not godly to keep doing that and using god. I have been praying more than ever for us to work it out..but I’m so confused because this pastor had never told us wrong through a prophetic word. Everything has always came to pass. Shall I give up or keep praying for our prophetic word to come to pass?

  47. Hi Justine. I was in a relationship with a man I work with for almost a year. 3 months ago he ended things via text while we were at work. During the relationship and even looking back now I know it wasn’t a good relationship. I compromised a lot of my values and beliefs. That includes having sex with him. We both are Christians and I do know that I didn’t go into it with good intentions. Just my fleshy desires. Anyway I developed feelings for him and he would always say he could see a future with me. Then one day he says he don’t. I have been heartbroken over it. I know it wasn’t meant to be and I ask and pray that God will heal my heart. The trouble I’m having is it’s been very hard getting over it due to us working at the same place and me having to see him everyday. Any advice? Thanks

    • Hey April, I’m sorry you are going through this. But I’m glad you can now look back and find a valuable lesson. I can imagine that it’s hard to work with someone that you were romantically involved with. My suggestion is, that you make a list of all the reasons why the two of you would not be good together. The clearer you get on why it didn’t work out and why it is not a good match, the easier it will be to put him back into the friend zone.

  48. I was in a relationship with two years with a man I thought I was going to marry. Reading this now I realize that no matter how much I tried to focus on God I still idolized the relationship more. All I wanted was marriage with a happy ending. But how could I have that with a man who claimed he believed in God but didn’t like like it. We never talked about God because it always felt like maybe he thought I was forcing it on him. I always felt insecure in the relationship and I thought it was all due to my past relationship and how I had experienced lies and cheating from my ex and even father. He constantly made me feel like i was crazy and it was all in my head. Especially when I tried to tell him there was more to life than gaming. He would game more hours than work. He started playing world of Warcraft and he started losing patience with me whenever I said I needed him to communicate with me a little more. I didn’t like feeling ignored up to 6 hours at a time because of his video games. He used to play this game in the past and said he slept 4 hours in two weeks back then. Since he started back in August he reconnected with all of his old friends. I don’t know if they all influenced him to leave a girl who doesn’t want him gaming all day because that is all they seemed to care about. I always felt in the way but I especially felt in the way when he started playing this game. Suddenly he was always getting irritated with me for simply asking for better communication and why had he changed the second year in our relationship. I noticed on one of his games his brother was speaking to his ex girlfriend while his current girlfriend was at work and he was at home taking care of their special needs son. I asked if she was aware of this friendship and he completely lost it and I know he told his brother because they even tried to change the ex girlfriends name to make it seem like it was a dude. I would never speak to anyone about it I was just honestly curious if his current girlfriend knew. I was so disappointed that i was the one being attacked by him instead and I felt so exposed to his family and friends. I always felt he complained about me or told them everything I confided in him. I felt he complained especially about the fact that I tried to tell him there was more to life than games. I noticed in August his obsession with this world of Warcraft game was real. He didn’t see it but I did and everyone on there was so addicted it’s insane. He said he felt I lectured him like a child and wouldn’t let him do what he enjoyed. Which I didn’t understand since we were long distance and he was spending his weekends gaming and from like 12 to 1pm weekdays till like 10 or 11pm gaming. He definitely gamed more than worked and I wanted him to focus on a future since he is 34 and super comfortable living with his parents. Anyway he broke up with me saying he didn’t think he could be the man i needed. Before that I remember feeling disappointed and I prayed God would change my heart and his and help us be who we needed the other to be but I also prayed if he wasn’t truly the man he wanted for me to remove him from my life as it had been long enough. That same week he broke up with me. Do you think maybe that was God answering my prayer? That maybe he truly wasn’t the man He had in mind for me and was waiting for me to pray for such a revelation? I am truly heartbroken and want to believe He removed him because there’s someone better out there who my heart will just trust no matter what.

    • Hi Jessica, unfortunately, yes. I do believe that sometimes God will use a breakup to help you grow. It’s hard and painful, but looking back it will probably turn out to be the best.

  49. My relationship to a wonderful man ended and I believe God allowed for it happen because I didn’t know love. He has now moved on and in a new happy relationship. Which is very difficult because I wish I could be reconciled knowing that I would love him better now that I have wisdom and new understanding on what love is, what it looks like, how to receive and give love.

  50. I knew right away that God was the one who ended my 1.5-month long LDR as soon as I prayed about it. I never sought or pursued the relationship in the first place. It just happened and he dropped into my lap.

    I admit I’m a novice when it comes to relationships and I had been “man-free” for more than a decade – I was very content with single-hood until this man came into my life whilst I was on vacation. Prior to this relationship (first one ever), I felt I did not need a man in my life and I was pretty content being on my own, not lonely but happy to be alone. I know I’m unattractive, overweight, below average and I had come to terms with it – I had no desire to put myself out there and was happy to go through life how I was. When this man came into my life, I thought God had different plans for me and I was willing to open my mind and accept the unknown despite how terrified I was. When he was in my life, the experience shook my very foundation and I was and still am extremely confused as to what I really want in life: do I really want a relationship that leads to something, do I really want marriage, do I want to continue being single, could I really go back to hating men again??

    After he broke up with me, I felt a sense of relief washing over me, almost liberating and I could finally sleep properly since being in the relationship. But after 1 month of being okay post-break-up, it has come back to haunt me in so many ways…..until I have to see a psychologist on a regular basis.

    I have also prayed feverishly to God to take away this pain, the unbearable grief, the constant hurt associated with the break up, to let go, to forget and to see the upside of this break-up. So far, there has only been silence. For months, I have practiced self-care, tried to love myself more, tried to improve as a person to be the best version of myself, still traveled as much as I could and made new platonic friends. I’ve lost a substantial amount of weight, my skin has never looked better, gained new knowledge….but nothing I do makes me as happy when I was with that man. The sensible part of my brain urges me to keep calm and soldier on because time will heal but my heart knows truthfully, nothing I do is going to make me as happy. Activities that used to bring me joy such as watching tv, traveling, connecting with people makes me forget about him temporarily but as soon as I have a moment to myself, it becomes unbearable. My motivation for work has also come to an all-time-low, especially after I collapsed from overworking in the attempt to forget everything about the break-up. In addition, my relationship with my family has deteriorated and my mom says it breaks her heart to see me so sad all the time (my family has no clue about the relationship, let alone the break up and as far as they know, I have always been single and never had a relationship to this very day….a secret I will take to my grave because of the shame). In short, I can’t seem to move on no matter how hard I try.

    Despite all this, I know I have to keep going and persevere – because if I don’t, I honestly don’t know how long I can keep going. And the worst thing is, I have this unsettled feeling that this man will come back into my life and I will cross paths with him again in lifetime when I least expected (even though we are divided by 8000++ miles between us).

    Your post gives me a glimmer of hope that….hopefully…I can still revert back to my old self again, where I was content with single-hood. And hope is the only thing I have to hold on to at this point.

  51. I fell for a guy that i just new he was the one
    He would always tell me he love me an that we were going to get married and that i was never going anywhere i fell for that because i belived in him and thought that every word came out his mouth was a blessing an i finally found my dream was coming true i been by myself for so long an desperately wanted a husband but all the time we were together something in the back of my mind was disturbing it didnt feel right an one night i invited him to church an that was it GOD revieled to me who he was an what he was all about and it wasn’t me that just really killed me but GOD stepped in an saved me.i am so greaful that i have a God who loves me an always there

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