Important characteristics of a godly man
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Did you know there’s a difference between a good man and a godly man?
Yes, ma’am! And if I would not have read this eye-opening book about Love, Sex, and Dating, I would never have known.
In it, I learned what qualities a godly man should have but also what qualities a godly woman should have. It was clear, concise, and a no-nonsense approach to topics the church tends to avoid. I LOVE IT! And the best thing is, the Kindle version is less than $5.00 USD!
So what is the difference?
Well, a good man makes sound decisions, is nice, and loves you based on a worldly standard. A godly man makes wise decisions, is kind, and loves you based on a godly standard.
While both of these men can be great boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands I have learned that discerning between a godly man vs. a worldly man is important if you want to date with purpose.
When you are looking for a long-term partner you want to make sure that he shares your faith and conviction with you.
And to help you spot a God-fearing man, I’m sharing 10 characteristics of a godly man to look for as a single woman.
But before we get started, let’s first define what being a “godly man” really means:
Godly man meaning:
While the collins dictionary states that “A godly person is someone who is deeply religious and shows obedience to the rules of their religion.”.
We know that there is much more to being godly or god-seeking than that. It’s about his character, his morals, and his values as well as whether he is seeking God’s purpose for and presence in his life.
Being a godly man means that he strives towards becoming more like Christ every day.
But how can you really tell who is a good man according to the Bible?
Well, I certainly do not have all the answers, but I found a few character traits that the Bible repeatedly mentions as godly characteristics. Once you identify these in your love interest, chances are he is a man of God.
10 Characteristics of a Godly Man
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” – James 1:12
Sooo, I personally have a love/ hate relationship with this bible verse. Why? Because persevering is extremely hard. But at the same time it extremely crucial.
Without perseverance, you will give up every time you encounter challenges. Which is a problem. Because if there is one thing that I can assure you, then it’s that life will try you. Not one, not twice, but several times.
Challenges, set-backs and flat out failures will happen, especially in relationships. And they will test your spirit, your love and your faith.
Having someone by your side that knows how to persevere is important for you and your future family.
Someone that knows that God is good all the time and that everything works together for your good.
Because a godly man that has perseverance won’t give up at the first sign of resistance but be patient and trust God to work on his behalf.
And if you are having trouble to find out if your love interest has perseverance, then just watch him in times of stress.
Does he give up quickly and lose all hope? Or does he trust God to make a way?
2. Focused on God’s Word
“We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.” – Hebrews 2:1
Nowadays, the topic of submission has become a very sensitive topic for women.
Even though the Bible clearly calls husbands to be the head of the household, wearing the head of Christ, we oftentimes struggle to “submit”. Read it for yourself.
And while I am not going into detail about this topic, I think there is an easy way to solve that problem.
If you want to ensure that you will enjoy submitting to your husband in the future, then the best thing you can do is to marry a man that is attentive and focused on the word of God.
Look for a man that does not get distracted by false teaching or his own worldly desires. But is committed to following and obeying Jesus while he is single. That way it will be easier for you to submit to him later in a marriage.
“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.” – 2 Corinthians 9:6
An attitude of giving shows itself in a relationship.
A God-fearing man that knows that his riches are not earthly, but come from God. He has less difficulty to let go of worldly possessions and worries less about money. He knows that God can meet his needs and will provide for him in due time.
To me, generosity is a very important quality of a godly man because I want to be with someone that is a cheerful giver. Not just to me, but also to people in need.
Besides your tithes and offering, you will encounter people that need help. While you certainly don’t have to give all, I do believe that giving blesses the giver just as much as the recipient.
A man that gives generously, attracts people that enjoy giving as well. And a community like that is sure to bless you and your future family when in need.
“So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” – Romans 14:12
Being responsible is a prime indicator of maturity and wisdom and therefore one of the more important characteristics of a godly man. In a relationship, you will face a lot of situations where someone needs to take charge and make a decision.
A godly man should be willing to do so spirit-led. But also take full responsibility for his actions in hindsight. (And so, should a godly woman).
Observe your boyfriend carefully when he is under fire. Does he own it or repeatedly blame it on something/ somebody else?
If he tends to avoid taking responsibility, remember that small decisions now, become big decisions later.
In addition, the Bible is very clear about the fact, that we will all have to face Jesus at one point and take responsibility for our actions on earth. How much easier will it be to stand in front of him, well aware of the good and bad we did.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” – Philippians 2:3-4
One common habit of couples in healthy relationships is that both partners are able to lay aside selfishness and consider the other one’s interest and well-being as important as their own. That is only possible if both of you can humble yourselves.
A relationship can be challenging and confronting at times, however only people who are able to resist the desire to always be right and are able to acknowledge their mistakes and weaknesses can solve disputes. If not, the relationship can turn toxic really quickly.
You want the man you date to be able to apologize and put your feelings first at times.
“The Lord detests lying lips but delights in people who are trustworthy.” – Proverbs 12:22
This personality trait of a godly man almost seems like a no brainer, but it’s worth repeating anyway.
Trust should be at the foundation of every committed relationship. After it is established, you feel encouraged to open up to each other, invest in each other, and eventually commit to each other.
However, broken trust is a major deal-breaker in relationships.
Lying is undoubtedly the fastest way of breaking that trust. No matter how big or small the lie might be, it leaves a nasty aftertaste and makes you question every following statement.
That’s why honesty is one of the most important qualities to look for in a godly man or godly husband.
Observe his actions and see if they align with his words. Even a tendency to use white lies can become an issue. If he repeatedly uses them to justify his actions, you should have an honest conversation about that.
Thankfully, honesty is something you can spot early on in the relationship. Is he honest about his intentions for you? Does he communicate what his vision for the relationship is?
If you find yourself confused and wondering about your relationship status, then chances are that he is not honest and open. As I mention in my book “From Situationship to Relationship”, you want to invest your time and energy into a man that is ready to be a godly husband.
7. Good Communication skills
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become
They say: ‘communication is key’. However, nobody ever explains how to communicate well. Thank God, God does! And who better to learn from than the creator of language himself.
God’s Tip: listen more, speak less and don’t act out of anger.
Does your boyfriend use this tip in your relationship?
A man who is self-aware and can communicate well, will be able to voice his needs and wants without getting angry or abusive. He will not be controlled by his emotions or pride, but by love.
He will know how to act in order to de-escalate potential arguments and make you feel heard. Because in order to have a successful relationship, couples need to know how to communicate with each other.
Look for a man that talks to you with respect and acts reasonably even when he is agitated.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. – Ephesians 4:32
I’m going to be completely honest with you, I’ve struggled with being forgiving in my past. I’ve lost great friendships because of it and it’s one of the few regrets I have.
Every time somebody wronged me, I would cut them off and insist on holding a grudge, regardless of their apology.
But guess what, in a relationship, you will be wronged because neither of you is perfect. The only problem is, you can’t cut them off every time. You must be willing to forgive in order to heal.
That’s why you should look for a man that knows how to forgive and reconcile in times of trouble.
If he is forgiving, it’s a sign that he is compassionate and kind, which are all important in relationships.
Make sure that he isn’t the type to hold on to a grudge and be bitter, but instead looks for opportunities to experience joy. After all, forgiveness comes easy if the person is filled with love.
“Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding.” – Proverbs 3:13
Contrarily to popular belief, wisdom isn’t just gained with age, but can be found at a younger age too. How? By fearing God and listening to wise counsel.
The last thing you want is a man that believes he knows it all and doesn’t have to listen to anyone, including you. This man is full of pride and blinded by his own knowledge.
Instead you want to be with someone that seeks wisdom by seeking God’s guidance, his word and a relationship with him. That man is humble and understands that no matter how much he knows, he doesn’t know it all and needs to rely on God.
10. Fear of God
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” – Proverbs 1:7
Honestly, I believe this one is the most important characteristic of a godly man in a relationship.
You see, a man can be all of the characteristics above, but if he doesn’t fear God there is no guarantee that he is not going to change his behavior at one point.
The only, I repeat only thing that will keep a man in check is if he fears God and lives his life accordingly.
Knowing that God judges our behavior towards each other and sees the things we do in the dark encourages us to live a life of obedience.
Trust me, a man whose desire it is to please God and not just himself or you is what you want. A man that doesn’t take being a Christian lightly, but understands the weight of his sins.
Because that’s a man that will treat you right.
However, I challenge you to take it a step further and actually ask yourself “Are you the person the person you are looking for is looking for?”.
Girl, this is the main question Andy Stanley unpacks in his book. And let me tell you the first time I read it I was shocked and a little embarrassed. Because I realized the qualities I was looking for in a man, I didn’t even have myself.
Thankfully, the book really goes into detail on how to become a better and more godly woman.
So many great takeaways that allowed me to truly understand what qualities to look for, but also what qualities to improve in myself.