How to know he’s the one

Nowadays the twilight zone before a relationship becomes official is more confusing than ever. It starts with all the different words we use to describe our relationship status. Are you “dating”, “courting”, or “talking to each other”? 

It gets “complicated”, as Facebook states it. So much so that many of us forget the primary purpose of dating is to get to know each other and find out if he’s the one to you would want to marry.

Even though you might have an idea of what you need in a godly husband, you might not know what signs to look for in a relationship and how to know if he is the one for real. 

The last thing you want is to let your feelings and emotions take over and distract you from discerning well. All that does is lead to a soul tie, trust me. Instead, you want to be attentive and aware so that you can date with purpose

While it is oftentimes easy to tell when God wants you to let go of someone, based on his actions and words. There are also ways God will reveal the one to you that you can look out for. 

That’s why in this post, I am sharing how to know you found the one

signs god wants you to be with someone

This post contains affiliate links. If you use any of these links to buy a product, I’ll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps me to work in Ministry full-time and cover the expenses of this blog. The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

How do you tell early if he’s the one?

You might not like what I’m about to tell you, but one of the most important early signs you’ve met the one is actually the absence of “butterflies”.

And I really want you to hear me correctly on this one.

A lot of us are so used to toxic relationship patterns that we are more familiar with the emotions we get from the highs and lows that we confuse them with “butterflies” and “chemistry”.

Whenever I used to speak of having butterflies in the past, what I really was referring to was my anxiety being on 100. I just didn’t know better and I was a very needy girlfriend.

So when you meet the right guy for you, you will not feel anxious and therefore might not experience butterflies, but peace and safety.

how to know he's the one

How to know he’s the one – 10 Signs

1. He makes you feel safe

The very first sign he’s the one, ties into what I mentioned above. When you meet the right person for you, the relationship will feel safe and secure.

And I don’t just mean physically, even though that is important, but also emotionally safe.

You will feel comfortable expressing yourself authentically, without being afraid that he might leave. I know for myself, when I used to be celibate I was afraid a man would leave when he found out. So I would avoid the topic in the beginning.

However, that should be your sign you don’t feel safe and that he is not the one. Because in a healthy relationship, both of you create a safe space for each other and can connect on a deeper level.

So, if he makes you feel safe and certain about his commitment and interest in you, then this is a good sign that he may be the one.

2. He makes you feel wanted

Omg, you have no idea how important this point is to me. Because in my past dating experiences I have often felt unwanted.

What I mean by unwanted is that it felt like I was pulling teeth whenever I asked for time or attention. And given that my primary love language is quality time, you can imagine how painful that was.

But with the right man, you won’t feel like that. He will enjoy and initiate spending time together because he likes being with you.

That will make you feel wanted, but also valued, and appreciated. And that’s how you want to feel in a partnership.

godly signs he is the one

3. He makes you feel good about your life & future

The fact that you are reading my blog lets me know that you are looking for a serious romantic relationship and do not want to waste your time dating for years.


The truth is, one way you will know you have found the one is that he is just as future-focused as you and has no issue communicating that to you. He reassures you about his plans which makes you feel good about the idea of spending the rest of your life with him.

And if you are not sure, then ask yourself this: “If he never changes or the relationship never changes, would I still want to be with him?”

If the answer is yes, then there is a good chance you have found the one.

4. He’s your answered prayer

Whenever someone asks me how to identify the one I explain that you first need to get crystal clear about what you want.

Do you have a vision of your dream relationship on paper that you can reference? No? Well then get to it! Write down every detail about your dream relationship and how it makes you feel on a daily basis.

Because one of the biggest signs that he’s the one is that the relationship you two have together matches the life you have envisioned for yourself.

That’s how you know God has brought you together, because who else would know? The right relationship will feel like a match made in heaven, trust me.

how to know you found the one to marry

5. He makes you a better person

One of the lies we have been told about how to know if he’s the one is to look for the person that completes you. Well, that is bullshit. Because you are already whole.

What you want to look for instead is a life partner that makes you even better than you already are because he inspires you, encourages you, and supports you.

The love of your life will feel like the perfect addition to you.

And Amy Spencer beautifully describes this process in her book – Meeting your half-orange. It’s a great read if you want even more insight into how to know he’s the one.

So if you find yourself more motivated at work, more confident with your creative endeavors, or led to be more loving to others in general, then this is a great indicator that he is the one for you.

6. Your friends and family will affirm him

Now, I want you to take this tip on how to know if he’s the one with a grain of salt. Why? Because we all have different relationships with our friends and family and in some cases, this point may not apply.

But in a perfect scenario, a great sign that he’s the one would be that your family members adore him and think you guys are a good match.

After all, they are the people who know you the most and hopefully want the best for you.

This is why a lot of times our entire family will confess that they never liked your ex whenever things fall apart. Turns out they saw your relationship problems objectively, while you were caught up in his good looks.

So, take it from me. If he’s the one your parents and your good friends will affirm him.

7. He makes you feel like the one

Wait, what? Yes, girl you heard me right. The way to know he’s the one is because he makes you feel like his one and only.

True love is a two-way street. This means the love, attention, and desire you give have to be reciprocated. And I’m not just talking about the little things, such as taking you out on dates and telling you “I love you”.

But also about treating you like a priority in his life, and being vulnerable with you.

These are the telltale signs that you are becoming the most important person in his life and that there is mutual love and interest.

And once he makes you feel like the one, without doubt, he also qualifies to become your one.

Disclaimer: I know this point may sound like I’m telling you to go tit for tat. But that’s not it. However, I know from experience that many of us try to force, convince, or beg men to stay in our lives.

And that doesn’t work. It only leads to situationships that lower our self-esteem. Been there done that. So, if you can feel resistance in the guy you are dating, chances are he doesn’t see you as the one and it’s time to let go.

how to know god's will in a relationship

8. He makes you part of his life

A great sign that he wants a serious relationship with you is that he is dating with intention and prioritizes spending time with you every week/ day.

As I mentioned above, the one for you will want to spend time with you. But it’s even better if he includes you in his life and vice versa. That means you will notice that before he makes plans with others he ensures the two of you discuss it or even invites you to join.

And whenever he has exciting news to share or something to talk about, you are the first person that he calls. The truth is happy relationships are the ones where you are each other’s best friend and truly share your lives. 

So, if your relationship includes more than just cute date nights and great physical intimacy, and instead, you feel like you are growing together as a unit, then that’s a good thing and your relationship has great potential for a long-term relationship.

9. He knows what he wants

Number 9 is honestly a reminder for me. I have been horribly hurt by someone that did not know what he wants in the past and therefore thought it might be best to share my experience.

A man that does not know what he wants in life, will have a very hard time identifying whether he wants to be with you. He will string you along for months or years out of shame. And whenever that is the case, he will most likely not meet any of the above criteria anyway.

There’s that.

This is why you will know he’s the one if he knows what he wants, including you. He shows you that his life goals have space for you in them and he confirms that you are the right one for him at the right time.

This makes things move easily, leads to good communication, and inevitably a great relationship. Because nothing makes a relationship work better than when you are on the same page, period.

So, if he is clear about his intentions with you and knows what he wants in a girlfriend, fiance, and wife, then he may just be the real deal.

10. You can trust him

Trust is such a loaded word and probably the hardest identifier on this list. Hence why I included it as the very last point on how to know he’s the one.

Why? Because if all the above points are met and he checks all the right boxes, trust will come easily. Nevertheless, there are some important factors that lead to trust.

Number one is that you share core values. This means your beliefs and your outlook on life are compatible. That doesn’t mean you will always agree with each other, but it means that you share common ground.

Another prerequisite for trust is mutual respect. This means he is respectful in different situations and doesn’t lose it when he is in a bad mood. One of the main indicators of a good relationship is when couples can participate in healthy conflict.

And lastly, he is transparent with his personal life. The right partner for you will be open and honest with you. No secrets, no lies, just vibes lol.

So, if you feel like you can trust him on top of all the above, you definitely found the one.

What does it feel like when he’s the one?

This is my favorite part about experiencing love right now. Because for the first time I actually feel different which makes me believe I have found my one (stay tuned).

The best way I can describe it is that when he’s the one you will feel:

  • relaxed about who you are and how you come across. You don’t feel the need to put on a persona that he will like and don’t feel anxious that he won’t like the real you. Instead, you show up exactly the way you are daily, which makes you feel relaxed and confident.
  • joyful because the peace and certainty you have about your relationship give you free space in your brain to focus on creating a life you love. Instead of worrying about your dating life or making him miss you when you are apart, you have more time to spend on things that make you happy.

How do you test if he’s the one?

I’m glad you asked! You can test if he’s the one by answering a few important questions. To help you with that I created a quiz that compiles 50 Questions to help you identify the one.

These questions will uncover whether you two are really compatible or you are blinded by rose-colored glasses.

How can I attract the one?

If you know me, you know I believe in the power of manifestation. And just like I manifested my man into my life, you can too.

How? By following these steps:

  1. Get clear on what you want.
  2. Formally ask God for what you want.
  3. Believe that it is going to happen and surrender it to God.

Of course, the process of manifesting love into your life is a bit more comprehensive than that, but it works. At least it did for me.

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133 Comments on How to Know He’s The One!

  1. Very encouraging blog !! I am also a single Christian and I am a bit older than you. That said, it’s very encouraging to read your sharing here. May Glod bless you ~

  2. The Bible calls us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers in 2 Corinthians 6:14. Someone that is not Christian is an unbeliever.

  3. Thank you for this, I recently met someone so unexpectedly and everything that your listing mentions is everything I have found in him. I Pray he may be it but only God knows & our Faith is so strong towards what we have that we’ve come to the understanding that no matter what happens it’s Gods plan! So thank you for your Beautiful words you truly made me believe a little more! God bless.

  4. What if he’s an ex boyfriend but we have been like best friends forever? We both have gone through the same life situations and have kids. We know that we have something that attracts us but we don’t dare to commit. I have started to pray and intercede because I want God to give me clarity.

  5. Right on on all points. I married the wrong one. And he doesn’t respect me at all. Can never finish a sentence. And he pushes me down physically. Among other things.He never protects me either. Just feeds me to the wolves every single time.

  6. Pray for me, I believe God has brought Boaz into my life, but my growing up without a dad and his having an abusive first wife has strained ourcommunication,though at the core, we love God and desire to put Christ first and center, even if it means no marriage. Your list is helpful, but even under the best of circumstances, God sometimes doesn’t answer every desire regarding our dream spouse, in some cases, for the benefit of the couple growing together in the Lord. I see how immature I was and how God might be blessing me now by keeping me from marriage for years, yet I still have fear to marry. I realize now God might be placing a calling of marriage on my life and the nature of it is to stretch and grow us both. Anyway, keep us in prayer as we are older and lots of people are getting married older. Thanksfor a thought provoking message.

  7. I agree with all of these, especially the action speak louder then words and pursuing you. Also that he puts an effort to make time to see you. This list makes it easier to see when a man is not right for you. My sister is starting to see a man that I don’t think is right for her. He would say that he would like to see her on a certain day and then on that certain day he would never message her, not even to say that something has come up and that he won’t be able to see her. This has happened a few times. One of my friends also saw them chatting and I just told her that I don’t want my sister to do something silly and the friend told me that she knows this guy well and my sister must not fall for him, because he is a player. Now I’ve warned my sister and our whole family has warned her. But we all know how we can give excuses for the person we are interested in and that words of warning can just fly overhead.
    So I’ve asked God to deal with this, that he will keep this man away from my sister and show her a deeper intimacy with Jesus, that she will not be desperate for a relationship with a person that does not make an efford to see her. I might be wrong and this guy may turn out to be right for her, but going by what the list say I highly doubt that.

  8. I am so glad that I found this. I have been so BLESSED by it. There is a guy at work who likes me, but I keep questioning if he is the one, but after reading this, I see he is not. He doesn’t even go to church anymore and he can’t give me an answer as to when he may want to go. He says IDK. No, we are just friends.

    Thank You! And I cant wait to read the 50 questions!

  9. Hey E, I’m sorry to hear that. Please consider seeing a marriage counselor. Blessings, Justine

  10. I think you’re taking the right steps by praying about it. Seek him first in everything!

  11. Hey Ab, I will absolutely keep you in my prayers. I pray that you receive God’s divine guidance to navigate through this situation.

  12. Hey Nadia, I’m glad your sister has you. You are doing well by protecting her from a distance and entrusting it to the lord. Use prayer as your weapon and intercede for her. You might be able to change her heart or even his heart.

  13. Hey Trish, I’m so glad you found this post and it served you. Yes, I think that is an easy sign that he is not aligned with God (yet).

  14. I am so toched by this and I have listed some of the points in my book I will be going through at any given time I just thank God for the author of this and the additionals for the powerful words and I pray that may God open my eyes I see is goodness and I may know my partner better

  15. I have found THE ONE!!
    And yes he has ALL of these qualities! I thank God every day!!

  16. I have a wonderful man come into my life he brought such love to me makes me feel like I can do anything he brought me closer to god I couldn’t ask for a better man but there is someone threatening him to stay away from me or talk to me we love each and we no who it is but he’s scared to call the authorities we both have faith that god will do what’s best for we haven’t talk in three days

  17. Omg! I just came in contact with your blog and what an eye opener for me! These are facts that you stated and sadly for me,the man I thought(well my guts feeling doesn’t completely agree)was for me,I’d say God already ended the relationship because he’s clearly not the one! Thanks so much. God bless you more.

  18. Hey Chioma, I’m glad the post confirmed what God has already done. I pray you find peace and grow from this experience. Blessings, Justine

  19. An, one way you can know if this relationship is from God is if it lines up with God’s truth in scripture. You mentioned him having a first wife. If this first wife is still living, he has no business looking for another relationship (see Mark 10:2-12). And though your “Boaz” may need alot of grace and support (that you may be able to give him), keep in mind that you aren’t called to be his savior. And while being in this relationship could be a growing experience for you both, it may not be God’s will for you to entertain the idea of marriage. God may be placing a calling for marriage on your life, but you can feel confident that he would never ask or expect you to disobey/disregard his principles for marriage in the process.

  20. I meet a guy from church not during church service, but it was a famiky and friends day at my church for memorial weekend. with that said he looked my way and so did I….idk if that was the right time to exchange numbers but I did after I left off the premises of the lords house. he texted me 1st and every since we been kicking texting like crazy being on the phone for hrs @ a time, but I wanna know is he the one GOD end to me!?

  21. Hi Coco,

    relax. You have known each other for a very short time. You can not determine whether someone is for you from a few texts. Enjoy getting to know each other while guarding your heart.


  22. You either pull him or he pulls you.. But if you’re sincere in the Lord, you will never remove yourself from God.

  23. I have been with my man for 5 years now. He ticks off everything in this list and more. Intact I prayed for a my perfect man and God literally answered my prayer the very next day. I love him to death and would do anything for him. The issue I have which has haunted me for years is I am not attracted to him. And I desire sex and affections from other men. All I can assume is that God will only give me the attraction once I commit to him in blind faith and marry him. As I know it’s not Godly to be sleeping together out of marriage ,as we are. Thanks would love some advice

  24. Great blog post! A couple weeks ago I expressed interest in and started dating one of my best friends. He fits every single one of these traits. However, I feel as if I made a mistake in expressing feelings that I now know came from loneliness and boredom (it’s summertime and I am home from college). Plus, he’s the only guy friend I’ve spent most of my time with and Im afraid of giving that up to someone else. I know it’s selfish and wrong to continue on with this relationship, but how can I honestly tell him that I made a mistake when it’s only been a couple weeks. Is it possible my feelings could change and I could learn to develop romantic feelings for him?

  25. Hey Nicole, thanks for sharing this. I commend you for honestly admitting that you made a decision out of loneliness. While I don’t think you should tell him that he was just your time killer for the summer. I would honestly let him know that you don’t believe it was the right decision because you don’t see him as a romantic partner but only as a friend. Hopefully, you will be able to stay friends after.

    Love & Light

  26. ?? Exactly am humbled and I wil take time to observe his ways though we are at a distance but still God wil answer be blessed dear

  27. Great post. I have been dating a guy from a completely different country (Africa) who is a Pastor. I am having to find out cultural differences and learning what is cultural and what is his character
    He is so humble and has integrity and makes time when he can but it is very hard. I have got so much from this post
    Thank you

  28. Hi Justine – I loved your article. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and struggle with anxiety. Over the last two months, I have felt disconnected from him and have informed him of some things I’d like him to be doing, like going to church regularly. He has not taken that step, but I still feel very anxious and unsure about our relationship. Any tips you have? Thanks!

  29. I should also mention that I find myself not wanting to see him and not wanting to reply to texts, but can’t decide if it’s from my anxiety and wanting to be alone or if the bigger issue is that I know he’s not right for me.

  30. The man I met a year and a half ago meets and exceeds your list. He clearly stated he has prayed for the Lord to bring his future wife from our first date. I have also. It’s been hard to meet someone who agrees to abstain from sex outside of marriage but we have honored this. We love the outdoors and spend every free moment in the mountains. He is my best friend. But I have zero romantic attraction – zero. I’m devastated and don’t know what to do. I’ve begged the Lord to tell me if we’re to marry and believe the attraction will come (?). He is clearly attracted to me romantically. He is 34 and I’m 32. I would be heartbroken to break it off but as of now can’t imagine sleeping together. (We have kissed and it was awful for me.) Does anyone know what the Lord says? Please tell me, Lord.

  31. We have been together for six years now but sometimes I sense insercurit cos dere was we want our ways and within dat time dat was wen he had a child with someone else bug they are married and now we are back together again am scared but don’t want to trough away our six years of relationship.

  32. Hi, great piece. Stumbled on this while looking for answers and now I am completely sure he is not for me. Thanks Justine, God continue to increase you.

  33. Hi Haylee sounds to me like your body is telling you what you have been sending all along – that he is not the right man for you. You have to understand that our mind will protect us from anything that harms us, meaning that if you subconsciously fear that he is not good for you and are stressed about it, it will induce stress hormones that can look like anxiety. You are only hurting yourself by staying. I suggest you truly pray and fast about the relationship and find out what God is telling you to do.

  34. Hi Clare, I don’t think there is a concrete answer to your problem and I can understand that it is a hard decision to make. However, always remember that we are first and foremost brothers and sisters in Christ. If you decide to stay in that relationship even though you are not attracted to him and later on decide to break it off. You will hurt him a lot and that is a horrible thing to do to your brother in Christ. So I suggest you go before God and ask him to show you ways to increase his attraction to you. If it doesn’t work, I don’t believe you should ‘convince’ to get married. Blessings, Justine

  35. Christianity is not the only religion in the world. You can’t assume someone is a non believer because they’re not Christian. That’s a boxed in way to look at things and definitely not what you should be advising to others.

  36. Hi Ashley, thanks for your input. A non-believer to Christians is someone that does not believe in Jesus Christ. And I don’t know any other Religion in the world that does.

  37. I am experiencing the exact thing. This list is reassurance of the peace we feel along with how effortless our encounter has been since we met. We both what we want and we pray for God’s will. Whatever the answer is we both are content either way, because the spiritual connection was worth it.

  38. I am wanting some Godly advice as to what I should do with my friend . I have known my best friend for well over 17 years plus but in that time frame we lost touch for whatever reason we both have married and have kids and recently reconnected earlier this year and since then we have created an emotional bond and there has been a physical and sexual attraction. We have FaceTimed a few times and messaged each other however within the last week I have tried to reach out to him by text , calling and messaging him but it just haven’t received a response . I have been lead by the Holy Spirit to pray for him everyday . My question is is me praying for him mean that he is going through a rough time and that the Lord is working in his circumstance and does it mean that he is my future even though I am seeking God’s will about my friend? I have so much love and care for my friend that I won’t stop praying for him! I can’t not stop thinking and caring and praying for him!!

  39. how can I know God already told him am the one and I already know but not convinced he knows

  40. hey there, i recently met a Godly man online, we have chatted for 8 months and met twice. we shared common interests such as loving God’s word and reading inspirational and spiritual blogs. I consider him Godly and mature. everything went okay except that we sometimes argue about doctrine 🙂 and as time goes by, as our friendship deepens, I felt confused about his intention the same way he is also confused about his feelings for me and then the rest is history, we are no longer communicating. this blog provided me a confirmation that he is not the one or God’s best for me. same as I am not God’s best for him. God is the best matchmaker i believe. I am now happy being single (nbsb at the age 28) and waiting for God’s best for me.

  41. Hello there,
    I’ve known this guy who has been asking me out for over 10 years I’ve never been attracted to him physically and I think I will never be but we’re friends. Due to some circumstances that I had recently he returned with his quest. I know something for a fact that he lies a lot to impress me and in the meantime he started to pen up about some intimate details about him. When I’m seeing some of the signs I’m telling myself could he be the one? and the same time though he claimed to be a Christian he talks about his dirty fantasies which somehow sully my mind and cause me to have some weird dreams… he has some of the qualities that you talked about but he lacks number 5 and that is the most important point for me and I have been specific to God about this point. please help I can’t really talk to the people in my life about it because they say my standards are too high. Thank you

  42. So iVe started talking to someone new I said I’m not dating anyone I want to better my relationship with god I’m putting him first n plus I’m separated going through a divorce so I didn’t expect to have feelings for someone ..I don’t know if they are a believer but I am and I already have things I need to work on and he respects some what he knows I didn’t open up about that as yet . He knows I go to church and he asked if I prayed which allowed me to be happy cause I got to talk about it. We both have feelings for each other but i said I’m not looking for anyone when I pray on my alone time n boom this person showed up. Idk if it’s from god and I prayed to god asking him to weed out anyone in my life that is not from him or of him and this person is still there so I know they are there for a reason or a lesson or a blessing I just don’t know which.

  43. hi Justine,

    just a question though, say you have such guy who is like this, he is 10yrs older than i’m and my closest friend, he loves me even and in every way but i’m not attracted to him like that, i like him as a friend but not in that way. i even tried dating him but ended up breaking up with him because i did not want to lead him and break his heart even harder when we go further into it.

  44. The guy I talk to has all of this, but he said he’s not ready right now for a relationship and doesn’t know yet if God has him for me other than us just being friends. I feel God has us to be together for the long-term. I think he has his head in past hurt that may be stopping him. I truly love him as my friend, and pray God opens his heart to see what is right in front of him. I feel God sent us both to each other for restoration.

  45. Hey Tasia, it sounds to me like you might be holding on to someone who is trying to get away. Even if the two of you are meant to be, it is best for you to stop pursuing this relationship until he comes around himself. Switch your focus to yourself and build up your confidence to attract a man that truly sees value in you. Because if he says he doesn’T want a relationship with you, chances are high that he really means it.

  46. Hi,Justine i have been dating my guy fr three years now but it got to a certain point everything changed..its like i made rules for on the time to call me and all that and i said hurtful words to him..and from No Where i meet this guy and we got along so well whiles i was dating…later my boyfriend got feed up with me and we broke up..which i couldn’t stand it and begged him to come back to me..but justine i’ve gotten into the other guy so much that he potrays all these signs…and recently too my boyfriend has changed ever since he went to school theres no communication again like how it used to be..i’ve lost interest in my boyfriend now and thinking of moving on this guy because i feel myself when am around him…but my boyfriend also says he won’t leave me alone and am confused and the other guy says he is afraid he might lose me…i dont know what to do….

  47. Hi I loved these key points and somebody came into my life that fits all of this but the thing concerning me is that I feel like we both are weak in the department of waiting until marriage. He has explained his frustration towards me being too formal with him which of course most men may feel unsure if their feelings don’t appear reciprocated, but I’m scared that I won’t be able to control myself if I don’t keep a physical distance and then spoil what could have been a perfect Godly relationship.

    I’ve dated before with intent to marry but that relationship was romantic way too soon and my partner turned out to be a liar, abusive, cheating, etc. and the marriage had to end before it completely destroyed me. Now I’m on track with God. I really don’t want to end up in the same bind again, but this new guy just seems so much better quality then 99% men these days.

  48. Hi Christina, I completely understand your dilemma. It’s one that a lot of women find themselves in. But there is a difference between being ‘Too’ formal or distant and introducing boundaries. Boundaries you discuss with your boyfriend and agree upon together. If he can’t respect that boundarie than that’s a red flag.

  49. Hey Bel, you need to make up your mind. Do you want to stay with your boyfriend or no? Don’t make the decision between the two men, decide if you would break up with your boyfriend even if the other guy wasn’t in the picture. Because jumping from one relationship to the other, might not even be the best thing to do here.

  50. The guy I’m with does all this ^ what I read the 10 signs. He is loving, caring, loves God respects me, motivates me to keep praying, motivates me to keep on loving God. We meet at church! I’m a pastors child so every has eyes on me so our love we have is hard because we can be together without anyone speaking bad and it’s very complicated and personal but I just need prayer please?

  51. This guy I’m getting to know definitely relates to God the same way I do, and talking to him makes me feel stronger in my faith! He makes me feel good about myself and is so supportive even when I show some insecurity. Especially then, really. He was giving a lot of cues that he really liked me and brought up getting a coffee or lunch, but I’m afraid I’ve been acting too cool/reserved and given him the impression that I’m not interested. It’s just because I’m shy. It seems like that has kept him from really “pursuing” me and setting a time and place. But I can’t be sure. Maybe he is really not the one. I’ve heard that if you feel insecure at all you shouldn’t date the guy. I like him, but I guess I am a little uncertain/nervous. I know you don’t know the whole situation, but even if you just read this and pray about it I know that would be a great help. Thanks!

  52. Hey Brianna, I think you are confusing yourself at the moment. Take a deep breath and rest assured that if he is interested in you, shy or not, he will take you out. There are ways you can practice being a little more outgoing, but never assume that being shy is a bad thing. It’s just who you are. Blessings, Justine

  53. Hi Justine,

    My fiance and I met online 10 months ago. I initiated the relationship. Which bothered me but maybe is not a big deal. He let me know right away he was still married but just looking to meet or chat and wanted me to know he was still married. I am a christian and he claims to be as well. OUr relationship has had some rough spots. He would say its been amazing. I am very close to the Lord and value my relationship with God more than anything. My question is this. Now that I am engaged I have been waking up with unsettling anxiety. Some days I am excited to marry him but I feel like I don’t truly know him and wondering how I said yes when I see that I am starting to see a pattern in his life. He adores me. He takes me to church. he reads his devotions. He puts me first. He knows the bible well. But I see some patterns of inconsistancy with his lifestyle that really concern me. I was brushing it aside because he would tell me things like he has been married before that is why it is hard for him to not make out with me etc. I believe in sexual purity before marriage as it is a mark of being justified by your faith and truly desire to serve god. He does not get uncomfortable talking about god. But i am the one who comes to him when we “mess up” and tell him how awful i feel. He says he is convicted too… but I wonder why he doesnt come to me and apologize for leading us into sin? The last time bothered me so much I told him I couldnt handle it anymore and he said it wouldnt happen again. and so far it hasnt. How do i know if this man is really a christian? or maybe just struggling with sin in his life? I feel like an idiot for saying yes when I have these doubts. His good qualities are so good. but these qualities greatly cause me distress… we are both in our 30s and have kids from previous marriages. both of our marriages ended from our spouses walking out so we believe we can remarry. I do not struggle with lust or masturbation and he says he does not either… but I can tell he struggles with it. He is very consistant in his devotions and we talk about the lord… sometimes i feel like my passion for the lord is deeper…. He is absolutely head over heels in love with me… sometimes i feel pressure to get married from him( although I think he doesnt mean to) but he is so excited to marry me HELP! We just started biblical counseling as this is super important to me…

  54. He didn’t say he didn’t want a relationship just not right now. We talk daily. We are friends. I live my life, it doesn’t center around him. We are enjoying what is presently manifesting whatever it is. Some people are hurt. I think we jump to conclusion in seeing the negative instead of manifesting the positive. Our words have power.

  55. Hi Cheryl, thank you so much for sharing this with me. I do see a few red flags here, but actually with your behavior rather than his. It seems to me like you are overly concerned with his Christianity, which for one means you didn’t do your due diligence when you started dating and two that you are looking to marry a picture-perfect which does not exist. If you have so many doubts about marrying him, then you absolutely should pump the breaks. But if you are just worried and anxious for nothing, then it’s time to see a counselor/coach and make sure that your limiting beliefs are not sabotaging God’s blessing for your life. Love & Light Justine

  56. I know this post is old but I wanted to say that you cannot be unequally yoked with someone who doesn’t believe in the same doctrine as you, it will cause an issue now I say cause an issue because the man is the head it is important to know that you will then have to convert to his religion and doctrine. Now this is something you will need to pray about and make sure that God is allowing you guys to be together it’s very important because I have seen situations where a woman tries to attend and practice the same beliefs as the husband but the wife didn’t feel like she fit in husband (baptist) and wife (apostolic) the Husband didn’t like the apostolic movement and wife felt like baptist isn’t radical enough for her so just an idea of what unequally yoked up with someone who isn’t in the same belief can cause the two of you to have problems later.

  57. I met Lionel around 6 months ago while I was working in Guadeloupe. At this time, I wasn’t living my life very close to God, there were no suitable churches in my area, nor any other Christians, and I had stopped reading my bible regularly. Looking back I can see that I was quite lost as a Christian, and definitely wasn’t living out my faith. Lionel was a good friend of mine and we often hung out together in our larger friendship circle. One day I became aware he was interested in me (as more than a friend) and this led me to start to think about him on more than a friendship level also. At a party one night, we were both drunk and ended up kissing. It was a good moment, but in my head it was a mistake and something I intended to move on from, and not repeat. But during the following days he pursued me, wanted to spend time with me one-on-one, messaged me a lot etc. I didn’t know what was going on and knew in my heart it was doing the wrong thing to be stringing him along. One day I finally got the chance to explain to him that I was a practicing christian and didn’t want to sleep with anyone until marriage. He was intrigued by this, shocked also. It appeared he had never met another Christian in his life, and had certainly not taken an interest in it ever before. But he immediately said he still wanted to see me. I said ok, whatever, knowing that one day we would drift away from each other and that would be it. (I was leaving Guadeloupe about two weeks after that).

    Three months down the line, we both met up in France, having stayed in contact the whole time we were apart. Now in more of a relationshippy area, I liked him a lot more. Heck, I loved him. He had taken a great interest in Christianity, started reading the Bible, praying and doing his own Bible studies. He had changed in other ways as well. He had stopped smoking, masturbating and was drinking less too.

    Now we are in a long-distance relationship, have met each others families and friends. Lionel has been to my uni church and really enjoyed it. He prays everyday as I do also, and we are doing Bible studies over the phone whenever we can. At this point, our relationship has Godly characteristics and is constantly pointing me towards Jesus. Lionel is growing in his faith everyday, and has not stopped being excited about the Bible since the day he bought one and it arrived in the post.

    But I can’t help wondering if this relationship is the one God intended for me. It certainly didn’t start in a Godly place. How can this be God’s plan for me, to be in a relationship with a non-Christian man? Is Lionel going to drift away from his faith in the future? Will he ever go back to his old ways? Is this going to cause problems for us? We have already argued quite a lot together about our compatibility. Granted, we have resolved each argument but I can’t help wondering if this was a sign from God telling me to get out while I still can. There’s also the fact Lionel lives in France and will be based in Guadeloupe until early January. He is 30, I am 21.

    I don’t know, and I feel like I need some advice and guidance, even though i also know it is only me that can make the decision for my life. I have been asking and asking God whether this is right or not. And i just can’t figure it out. I need your help.

  58. I encourage you to pray for guidance for this relationship. You stated that you are sleeping with him and you are not yet married. That is not glorying God. Attraction is important but it shouldn’t be the main focus. It sounds to me like you don’t have peace about this relationship. I advice you to not move forward and spend some time evaluating the relationship.

  59. @Well I just recently experienced something similar in regards to the “dirty fantasies” where I met a “christian man” via an online game site. He pursued me, claimed, I am the women he is suppose to marry, etc. He prayed for me, we talked about scriptures,etc. However I began to notice a couple of red flags, he would talk about how hard it was to hold back on sexual temptation,then he brought up how he thinks about it all the time, and this also lead my mind astray. He then told me something very personal (that relates to fornication) about his past. Which was weird because we just started texting each other and he has never met me just seen a picture. Plus we spoke about purity and waiting til marriage, etc. At least I know I was serous about it. The last red flag was when I requested to transition the texting to a phone call or video chat to see and hear his actual face and voice. He ghosted and never replied back. It had only been a week, but it was really bothering me that someone who claimed to follow God spoke this way and never attempted to call or meet me. So when I ask,I had a feeling he wasn’t who he said he was. It’s sad that there are “christian men” out there who resort to trickery to attempt fulfill their carnal needs.
    If your standards align with God, its definitely not to high and you shouldn’t believe what a person says, you should be believing what God says. Someone who is serious about their walk with God will not talk about or tempt your purity in any way. Just like the article says, he shouldn’t compromise your walk with God. You both should be on the same page with your desire to follow Christ. It sounds like he may not be the one for you. If he was you wouldn’t be confused or have aany doubts. Our God is not the author of confusion. 1Cor 14:33.

  60. i have a question ,there is a young man who loves me so much want me as his girlfriend.He is agood person ,fears GOD and he has most qualities that you mentioned but i dont love him .what should i do ,one reason asto whyb i dont like him is because we dont have the same reasoning

  61. Please, I was in a relationship with girl for almost 2years but not we broke up because we needed sign to be sure we are meant to be, tbh she requested for the break up. With the love I have for her I can’t just imagine myself without her. I tried explaining to her how serious I don’t want the break up but she kept saying it that she would only come back to me when ever she see a sign from God that I’m the right person, but for months now she haven’t seen any sign please what should I do ? And please is it everyone that sees signs from God?

  62. If you don’t like him, the answer is clear. Let him know with love and compassion, that you are not interested.

  63. Sometimes no sign is a sign as well. You should focus on yourself and pray that God brings you the person that is best for you, even if it is not your ex.

  64. Thank you for sharing. I have been single since 2013 and I am a single mom. I had a old classmate of mine that reached out to me earlier last month, we lost contact with each other for 20 plus years just because of life. But he told me that he got saved back in 2015 and has he started his relationship with the Lord he was praying about a Christian woman for him, he said that God put me in his mind and said I was the one for him. I have been praying about him and I am not sure what the Lord has for me. I am very guarded and very careful when it comes to men. (Why I have been single for so long) he does check a lot of your points but I am scared and I am so use to being on my own that I have convinced myself I don’t need anyone. Really confused and prayers please and any advice will be appreciated. God Bless

  65. Hi Yvette, I can totally understand why you are hesitant. But understand that fear is not from God, but faith is. Therefore, honestly ask yourself why you are confused and doubtful. If it is because you ‘fear’ the experiences of the past you should pray about that and ask him to lift those thoughts.

  66. I find someone that as all this 10 qualities in him and am convinced physical in me he is the right person but something bothered me, anytime i prayed to lord to show me the right person, i always see a black guy and tall smiling at me with a open teeth and someone telling me, that my husband in my dream but the guy with these quality is a yellow guy and short and doesnt have open teeth am confused

  67. God sent his son to do away with religion!! It’s about relationship. Read the Bible about how God feels about religion. You both must believe in the same thing, if not, it cause division . If you don’t understand, talk to God about it.

  68. Hi!
    Please we should not get confused. That man isn’t a Christian at all. He’s one of the scammers out there who take advantage of ladies. Note that God sent people to us and equally satan does sen. But the evidence is clear. They won’t succeed this evil plans on God’s children.
    Remain ever blessed in Jesus name

  69. Hey, I met this guy a year ago and I’ve had a crush on him ever since, a few days ago he admitted to liking me for over a year and he said he had a feeling inside and something clicked inside, he is definitely Christian and so am I, when he told me this we automatically started planning our wedding and future. We’re both nearly 18. How do I know if he is “the one” we’re dating now and we get along so well and I’ve told him my biggest secret and he’s told me his, and he’s helped me to love myself. But I just want a second opinion, I really like him.

  70. Hey Maddy, I’m happy you found someone you like so much. My suggestion is to take it slow. Enjoy the time you spend together and observe his words and actions. The best way to know if someone is ‘The One’ is by spending time with him and analyzing if he makes you feel at peace.

  71. Can it still be gods will if the person I want to be with is with someone else at the moment…

  72. The keyword here is ‘I want to be with’. Ask yourself honestly if it is your desire or God’s desire.

  73. Amen girl. Loved the blog and I think I’ve finally met my future husband. Everything you said, he definitely does them all effortlessly and will say so to your face. When I look at him, I see me, us! God bless you!

  74. Hi Justine, I been in a relationship for almost 3 years. We’ve had our ups and downs. Our downs have been verbally abuse (screaming), lies and I also found out he was talking to his ex. It’s been a struggle for me to trust him. I’ve also seen that he’s been trying to make things right but for some reason it’s really hard for me to believe him at times… to the point of questioning if he truly has a relationship with God like he says he does. I see changes but again the doubts pop in my head .. is it fake? I understand we all are a working progress. But how can I overcome all this confusion I have on my mind? Help please.

  75. Hi Izzy! I’m glad you are asking this question because it is so common! I think you mentioned a lot of red flags and I believe you already know what these mean. Understand that your intuition is spot on always! Meaning the ‘confusion’ you are experiencing is a tell-tale sign that something is off. I don’t think I need to give you any advice, because your body and mind are already ringing all the alarm signs. It is totally up to you to decide whether you want to finally do something about it, or stay in a situation that is making you anxious and paranoid. Love & Light Justine

  76. God warns us we should only date other Christians not because only Christians are good people or anything of that sort. There are many good reasons, and here are a few: One of my teachers in high school was Christian and her husband wasn’t. She often told me that it really hurt her that they don’t both believe the same things about life after death. It’s also very difficult for them raising their son and daughter because the parents have conflicting beliefs about what the kids should be taught. Being a devout Christian means God is a very big part of your life, so if your significant other doesn’t believe in God in the Christian way and you do, there will inevitably be some big conflicts in your life that can effect not only you, but your future family. If you aren’t both Christian, chances are you will have some major conflicts in values.

  77. Hi darling I like your blog and it’s what I wanted to know. I meet this guy, actually I gave his friend my number because his friend is looking handsome then him, late on they exchange my contact so he called me. I didn’t like the guy but I could feel that his the one, I had to learn to love him and now I love him with all my heart. We click in everything even sharing the birthday but now the problem is he got a girlfriend of 4years and they look happy, all the time when I’m with him the girl will call and disturbing us after that I would feel okay. He gave me his phone to browse I felt like he’s showing off this girl but later he told me there’s nothing his hiding from me. Let me be patient, he knows what he wants and I’m a exactly what he want. Even me I could feel he’s Sent by God. We both Christians same church but now I don’t know either to be patient with him to end up the relationship his in or what. I feel like wasting my time. I told him that I don’t have to feel this pain in order to own him, what was meant to be mine will find me but seems like on his side easy comes easy goes so please advise me what to do. Oh he told me the reason he doesn’t see future with his partner is that she can’t have kids so that will affect him in life because he got 1 kid from another girl and I also have 2 kids from my ex boyfriend.

  78. Hey Yanda, I have to tell you that I don’t think it is smart nor respectful to mingle in their relationship. You are right, what is for you is for you. So why wait for something that is not…yet. If he really means what he is saying, he will follow you once you set your boundaries and leave.

  79. hi dear, I broke up with my ex a month ago, it’s a guy I dated for more than two years but all through the time we dated, there were so many misunderstandings as he isn’t genuinely born again as our beliefs contradict each other.. but last week i got a call from a guy who i know through my ex boyfriend, he is a friend but we not close like that, he had liked me since I was younger but I never said yes not until last week he made his desire known to me that he wants to marry me and he still likes me a lot that he feels in his spirit I am the one for him, he has almost all the qualities u mentioned here but I don’t seem to love him, though I like him but it isn’t deep and I noticed though he is spiritually sound but isn’t stable or consistent yet.. I have been praying but not gotten any conviction about him yet whether to accept him or not..
    please I would love you to advice me and also pray for me regarding this.

  80. Thanks for sharing, the man I am with now has all this quality but I don’t love him, what do I do

  81. Hi I read this 10 things if this is your partner that God has for me and i do understand. I would like to know how can God show who is the man who will grow old with me. I been by myself for so long that sometimes i feel that God has forget me. I am not growing younger and I do God to provide me a good humble and simple who fear the Lord and that will be a strong person in this journey. How can you give me a suggestion or how can i ask. Thank you

  82. Hello!

    Thank you for sharing, I blessed with reading this scripture!

    I met someone in a christian site dating. We comunicated together through social network (facebook). He is a christian, what I appreciate of him is the desire for to pursue God. He has a desire for sharing gospel with other people. I like his zeal for Gospel. Because even I want to share my life with someone that love God and serve him seriosly.
    He was showed with me very open, he showed me everything from his life. I have understand that he is serious about following Christ.
    But now, we have 4 month that don’t talk together. Because he said me “that don’t have peace and waned to hear from God”.
    I aprecciate very very much that he want to know God will. And I am praying for both.
    Even I want to know if is the will of God or no. Beacuse we don’t want to do our desire but desire of God.
    I like him, I like him heart and he expressed that like me.
    The problem is that we live in different states, we speak different language (he speak Arabic and I speak albania, the problem is that I dont very well english and we dont speak together cause I dont speak him.
    But we don’t have any answer from God for us both.
    Sometimes, I wonder God: Why you don’t let two people connect who love You.
    Sometimes I think maybe I am not the right person for him, because I see my sin, how I err every day and I think “maybe I can be obstacle for him and not a helper”
    I don’t know, what I think. I don’t want to think anything.
    I pray that we hear God from his word, I pray that God to run our path. I dont want our desires to be fulfilled but I want the will of God.
    Often I want to give up, but again pray because I say God will answer us.
    And this time we dont have write each other.
    Can you give me an advice or suggestion concering situation?

    Thank you


  83. I know this is extremely late, but thank you so much, Justine! I know now that he was not the one. Your advice was spot on and I feel much better about my shyness. Blessings, Brianna

  84. Hi jus,have dated this guy for a yr before I realize he has a kid,his friends keep saying this guy is hiding a lot of things for me.I don’t call him but he always calls me these days.l pray God bring me the man he knows is the best for me.Thank you very much .

  85. Hi I’m Muslim and I believe in christ so does that make me a nonbeliever muslims are taught to love christ an to respect an honor him so I really don’t know in which part of the worl you live in but find the facts first before you speak

  86. Hi, I just wany to say that the optimism in this blog is something i would love to tap from, that is if Justine will have me. My mum married the wrong man, yet I pray God’s mercy, grace and blessings will be with her. Amen

  87. The Bible tells us what unbelievers are and they are people that are not living in obedience to God’s Word. Unbelievers are people that practice other religions and don’t trust Christ as their Savior. If a relationship is not drawing us closer to God, it is drawing us further. God knew that or He wouldn’t have commanded that. It wasn’t a suggestion. Thankfully, we have a Creator that tells us how we are to live. If only everyone took heed to His Word, this world would be a much better place.

  88. We were best friends since high school , went our separate ways and married other people, we’ve know each other for 30+years and for over the past 8 years we have been in an emotional long distance relationship…. I’m a Christian he’s a Muslim (different beliefs) ….I cut all contact because I love GOD more And don’t wanna commit adultery in my heart and he’s a distraction , it hurts because we’re best friends, and we are first loves ( his wife knows about us.) . I told him God is not the author of confusion and we are unequally yoked , my heart is so broken!! 6 out of 10 is NOT good

  89. I may only be fifteen, but I think I found the one. My boyfriend fits all of these. I was so insecure about my thighs, my body, but he has helped me out so much by loving me and respecting me. I thank you for this site.

  90. Dear Feroza, as a Muslim you believe that Jesus is only a prophet and not the Son of God and that he was never resurrected. By Christian standards, this disqualifies Muslims and any others from being believers.

    Because you do not believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that he died and was resecurrted for the forgiveness of our sins, you are an unbeliever. This is one of the many fundamental differences in our faiths. See, Matthew 7:21-23 NIV, John 14:6, John 3:16.

  91. Hello Mery and God bless. Sometimes we read so much information and become so confused about relationships we feel like we are losing our minds. There are many successful relationships that last forever, sometimes even between a believer and non believer. The main thing is as long as your relationship doesn’t lessen your walk with God, don’t rattle your mind with overthinking. Remember, the separation rate between Christian and non Christian relationships is about the same so us Christians don’t exactly set a great example to the world when it comes to relationships yet we constantly preach about unGodly relationships. Have read about life long relationships where one is a believer and the other one isn’t but the relationship has in no way affected the Christians walk with God. It’s only when a relationship lessens your walk with God that it becomes unGodly. Even if we are with an unbeliever, if it doesn’t lessen your walk with God, pray daily and ask God and pray for their salvation, if your prayer is sincere, God will touch their hearts. There are testimonies from Christians who have been in a lasting relationship with a non believer, and sometimes yrs after the relationship starts, the non believer gives their life to Christ. It makes me sad and sometimes angry that people often walk away from someone they truly love because they’ve read about unGodly relationships instead of praying constantly for the salvation of the person. Sometimes people do not know Christ because they were raised to believe that there is no God and who knows, those parents were probably raised the same way. What we haven’t understood is this: There’s nothing wrong with your unsaved loved one (or any other unsaved person) except the devil. No human being who truly understood the salvation Jesus has offered to us would reject that salvation of his own free will. No one!. A relationship is unGodly if it lessens your walk with God. I recently lost a r/ship of 5 yrs, i’m a Christian, they were a non believer, i touched on God with them more than any other previous 2 long term relationships i was in including my first where i was married to a Christian woman, i just didn’t want to push it because they had a past of being physically and verbally abused by men. Sometimes a persons past scars can have a bearing on their beliefs, they just don’t understand about God. If we as Christians genuinely love the unbeliever we are with, pray to God daily with all your heart to reveal the truth to them about God, stay calm and never give up instead of walking away. To me, a r/ship is unGodly only if it lessens your walk with the Lord. God bless.

  92. Hi I found a guy and he’s all what I’d been praying for ,he showers me with gifts,he’s kind loyal and loving but I keep getting infections when we make love, is he the one for me?

  93. I have a question so what if I met someone online and we went from strangers to best friends and then to dating, but we still haven’t met and we have 8 months dating and we are happy together does that mean he may be the one? He has helped me love my personality the person I am but I still haven’t fully shown my face to him because I’m insecure I tell him how I feel and he says no matter what I will still love you when he says that I feel he is being serious, I just hope one day I have that confidence and I’m ready to meet him in person.

  94. Thanks so much for your writeup. I’m in a long distant relationship. I have known my boyfriend for sometime now. We go too the same church and all. The first time he proposed, I rejected it cos I saw him as a brother, he didn’t come across as someone I’d like to be in a romantic relationship with.
    Fast forward, I left to abroad to further my studies and he proposed again just this January. He carries all the godly personalities I’d want in a husband, he’s pursuing me like he should. He’s making plans of joining me at my place of study, but all efforts are proving futile.

    I have also found someone here with the same personalities army boyfriend. I fear my boyfriend may not be able to join me here, also I will not want to hurt him cos he’s been so good to me. He’s the best. I can’t go back to my country now cos I’m still tied up with school and I intend on staying where I am. I discussed this with my boyfriend and he still insisted on pursuing me. Do you think I should take my time and study this new guy I have found lowkey? As in, he hasn’t proposed or anything but he’s a potential. Do you think I should talk about this again with my boyfriend?

  95. We love spending long hours talking together, but recently he forced himself on me, i still love him but i hate what he did.

  96. Dear tiffany,
    If you are both already and currently married then he has broke off talking to you because he is doing the right thing for him and his family.

    God takes adultery very seriously and it would not be right for you to have these deep feelings for him instead of for your husband. If this is the case then you’re feelings are self generated and not God generated and your up for allot of hurt by continuing this. I say this because I care for you and want to spare you more pain.

    If I misunderstood you and you are both currenly unmarried then take a deep breath, keep praying but know that God will take care of him. If he loves you he will come back.

    I pray that you continue in the lord and that he Guides you in knowing and obeying him deeper. God bless you and guide you.

  97. You say if God puts a man in you’re life he will know if you are the the one for him by your personality, attitude and most likely your looks. So if you’re ugly you might as well give it up?

  98. I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 years. Problem is, we were both not saved when we met and we did everything backwards and wrong. We moved in together too soon, and I think it caused a lot of anxiety in me because we basically got married without even talking about it. That made me so depressed and anxious, and he didn’t handle it well, which pushed us apart. I could never tell if it was the relationship causing me pain, or just weird unexplainable depression. I regret that we moved in together so soon. It got to the point where sometimes I thought about breaking up with him, but I was not able to support myself living alone, so we tried to work through it. He stood by me when I was at my worst. But I don’t know if it was out of love, or because he was too comfortable and lazy to start over with someone else. At a time he said he wasn’t in love with me anymore, but he loved me, and wanted to work through things. That broke my heart. But years have passed. And last year I came to Jesus and realized all my sins, and that our relationship started very unGodly. But he quickly followed and accepted Jesus, and wants to be saved too. I love him. But I don’t feel how I wish I felt about the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Then again, I know even healthy Christian marriages probably don’t feel 100% all the time.

    Now I have this man from my past, who reaches out once every year or two to see if I’m married yet. He’s loved me and courted me more than anyone ever has. I always saw him as a friend in the past, and we had a great connection. Over the years there’s a lot I’ve grown to really prefer and appreciate in him. He’s been certain for 10 years I’m the one for him, and he just can’t move on. He lives far away, but is willing to drop everything and make it work with me.

    I know my boyfriend loves me, but I wish he loved me as much as this man from my past. Then again, is this man just pining for me? He’s very smart, accomplished, and a Christian. Although, his wife was the one who originally introduced us, before she left him. He tried to stop her from leaving, but once she left and took everything, he fell for me hard and never got over me, even 10 years later. He says the things I wish my bf would say. He has a sureness about me and adores me in ways I wish my bf did. It makes me question if my boyfriend really is right for me.

    I want to honor God. I feel so clouded and unsure. My bf and I are finally starting to talk about wedding rings. But now I have this confusion and anxiety. How can I be certain he’s the right one? I pray about it, but don’t feel any clarity. Is our relationship doomed because we started without God? Or is it all working out perfectly, because we’re coming to God together?

  99. Just maybe, if God had created normal women these days which then many of us good single men would be able to find the one. Women today are very different from the old days unfortunately.

  100. Hi
    We have been dating for almost three years now….initially after we agreed on dating we were cool….after a while we rarely met in a year…but we usually talked on phone .He had time for other friends of his but he didn’t really have time for me until i confronted him and told him i was going to quit since i realized he didn’t love me…..he then started putting efforts into the relationship. And everything was moving smoothly.
    I honestly feel scared to be with him…….i just don’t know why
    Almost all the time i dream about us.
    He is always leaving without telling me.
    Meanwhile in reality we don’t have a problem
    He respects he’s kind and loving

  101. I met a guy 10 years ago at church we started to know each other he wanted more but he wasnt my type i just saw him as abrother in the Lord,He tried to show me he really likes me back than to excent of helping me chase my dreams because he has big connections
    But i didnt notice him i had met another men at the time and was too inlove with this men.
    me an this men dated for 10 years without marraige i overlooked my values for him because of love.he promised to marry me but never did he always said he will hes making enough money.
    I went through the most with this guy emotional abuse,i didnt feel good enough,cheating and all sorts of stuff

    One day i decided to give up on the relationship but i have a hard time completely letting go it go i guess 10years with a person is a long time .
    i blocked the guy but i ofthen think and dream about him even though i know hes not for me.
    Good news is that this perfect gentelmen from 10 years came back and he still wants to be with me he is all you mention on here but my issue is hes diffrent from wat i use to go for and im struggling with feeling that butterfly feeling of love again with this guy
    hes more softer,humble ,loving,God fearingis perfect but i dont have that strong connection
    i dont know can that feeling grow overtime cause i know his from heaven im just confused can God send u someone you will learn to have a strong connection for ?

  102. Gudday ma’am. I read all you said abt knwin ur GOD ordained mr right. I knw a young man 4 abt 3years bt i became emotionally attracted to hm by september,last year,2020. The guy is everything i prayed 4 except moneywise. GOD Promise 2 gv me a guy dat is very wealthy, i always beliv dat. If there is anytin my guy isnt,its rich. And its borders me alot. I knw my mum wont accept hm. I want 2 mari dis year, same as he. But no moni. My mum belivs dat if d guy am dating doesnt hav moni, he is a nobody. But i am myself around hmi dont pretend. I really luv hm nd i feel smtimes dat i break wit hm, i wil regret it. The only concern is dat hs just doing smal busines,stil plannin on expandin, he has gud plans but his nt rich,nd i want a rich guy. What do i do?

  103. I have dated a young pastor for over 12 years but refuses to take me to his parents. His attitudes sometimes tells me he doesn’t love me,other times too it tells me he is financial unstable. His words and actions sometimes gives me hope,other times too no.Do you think he is the right man for me?

  104. Wow! I needed to hear this! I’m in a relationship with a guy I met 2years ago. We’re both believers and he checks some of the boxes but the one thing we’ve not gotten straight is premarital sex. I’ve always wanted to stay celibate till I marry but he doesn’t feel the same way. He says he can’t stay without sex and we are both workers! He hasn’t even tried and I’m tired of compromising. There was a whole lot of controversy when we met. Folks in church be telling me to leave him saying he’s not good for me and all. Well, they were right about some things but wrong about some. I’ve seen him put in effort to become better and he’s actually let go of some habit for the relationship sake but the premarital sex is something he hasn’t let go. I pray God gives me wisdom to go about this because I really love him. He’s supportive, loves and cares deeply. Encourages me to be better but the fornication! 🤦 I would love to see the relationship blossom into something beautiful but…

  105. Hi Justine I really love what u wrote, I have someone in my life now and he’s asking me to marry him. We were dating before around 2018 but due to something’s I did and said we stop now after three years he asked me to be his girlfriend and ask me to marry him. I don’t know wat to do and I need ur advice. He knows all have been through in my previous relationship and everything but still he wants to be with me, wat should I do and I don’t even know how to pray about it

  106. I met my soul mate but she stopped texting me wasn’t ready to commit till her son moved out so we had sex just by asking cld she be the one or is this a sign she’s a pmayer cause I did everything these hints were saying I cldnt believe how precise these hints were describing my actions God is truly Amazing Cristina this Mike I’m not in anyway trying to Manipulate u in any way just know u walked away from. TRUE LOVE I’ve told u about God maybe u need to find him read these clues they all describe my qualities I wld wait at the end of the world for u im CRAZY ABOUY U 💔

  107. I believe God brought the man am currently with ,all the attributes of a man being sent by God I see them all. In my past relationships I’ve never had dreams about them but this current one I dream like all times mostly good dreams but sometimes I do have dreams where he walks away from me… I don’t know what that means is the dream coming from the devil?

  108. Hi Mike, one thing I know is that for every territory that you operate have their rules..if you are a devoted and committed christian who is in a relationship and you end up having sex even if it’s by a mistake,your problems begins there. The relationship might eventually end.. you could do any research
    In any case of a devoted christian that falls into fornication tempers the relationship

  109. Hi! I know I’m very late to this article, but I’ve recently been struggling with something involving my relationship. My boyfriend is almost six years older than me, but we had an instant connection after meeting through a mutual friend. We started dating about two months after we met, and we’re coming up on our third month of being together. He checks off so many boxes for me – he is a Christian, kind, caring, funny, we like many of the same things, I like his family, he gets along well with mine. But he just isn’t my type physically. I don’t find myself very physically attracted to him. He has a bit of a stomach and I don’t see much effort on his part to lose weight, even though I’ve expressed that being healthy is important to me. I like most everything else about him, except for a few things that seem to be physical. Am I a terrible person for thinking this? I just have always wanted to date for marriage (this is my first relationship, I am 21), but I am so worried that I am rushing into something. He already told me that he loved me, and I answered that I did as well, but now I’m worrying that I rushed into things. I definitely have a lot of feelings I am trying to work through. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

  110. Pray 4me as I know god brought Joseph into my life. Me into his. We are our special ones. Pray for wisdom and guidance as I know angels and god are leading us down our tight path. I believe & know we are meant to be. We are best friends. Lovers. He protective loving caring gentle patient kind as am I.. he brings calm over me. I feel next level connection . A true adult respectful love. I know he is struggling in some areas of his life. God touch him with ur love. Help him stay focused .. help him to give up his old life & see his purpose in serving u.. being best husband .. I pray as minister to serve u more. He take that path with me. Find he can trust in u. Trust the process as we keep growing .. live to serve u love himself & let love in .. he was hurt in past. Let him know to let go let god let live. Hope we are engaged by spring . 2 years so far have been best minutes off my life. Asides serving u. Let him see light. I’m here with Open arms open heart. Let him grow closer to you. Let him lead with feeling ur protection over us as he protects me and love protect us. Not let him go astray in fast internet world. I submit to u god @ and him. As I know u brought us together be husband wife. As in our house we shall serve the lord. Take his hand let him know it ok to seek u.. I thx god every day for are beautiful relationships .. help him in his difficult times let him know new opportunity in career are ahead to be strong .. that his one is me.. love n light .. Many blessings .. New York poj. Amen. His life just began and our dreams fate god has spoken. He good man. Use him to serve u to find greater purpose in life … be driven to do more and to know he is loved it’s ok he falling short as I give him unconditional love.. bring him peace & proper answer in his though career times love etc., if he looks to u.. he will find way to achieve his goals etc., help us come closer and find our future near soon ..

  111. So i take that is an article written by a female for females? But can this be reversed to be for males waiting upon God for their future wives?

  112. Hi Justine!
    I know that this article was published quite a while ago and that you may not get to answer me, but I really need some help with a situation… you see I’ve been dating a guy for about 5 months, but I’ve known him longer. He has been the sweetest guy I have ever met, and he actually respects/cares/loves me! He is always there to support me, and he is attractive both physically and Spiritually. We are both Christians, but his doctrine is a little different from what I believe. He is also very stubborn, and when I try to talk about my future career, he doesn’t support me in that.His parents also don’t seem to like me too well, even though I continue to be nice to them. He wanted to get married young, but I don’t. It seems like our goals don’t align? I also have this nagging feeling in my heart that there is someone better for me, and that the Lord will be able to use me in a greater way if I let Jesus guide a different person to me. I’ve been praying about staying or breaking up. But I don’t want to hurt him especially when he is such a great guy. I’m so confused on whether I should let him go or not because I don’t want to regret it later on in life? What do you think?

  113. Thanks so much for this ma, I’ve been really blessed. I left my boyfriend who was caring and loving, but sees going to church as nothing serious after I listened to a messaged from a rekown pastor, then I met another person who seems to be on fire for God, thinking he is the right one for, but upon getting to know him better, I discover he lacks character, in fact aside from him being a Christian that goes to church, he matches nothing out of everything youve mentioned above, I thank God for saving me

  114. I don’t usually do this but I’ll go out of my way here. As a therapist who works with couples. This is really bad. Life isn’t a movie. Please don’t take advice from someone with no experience. Just go see a counselor if you can’t figure it out. It doesn’t take more than a month to know if someone is marriage material. This is absolute trash advice.

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