how to know if God wants you to be with someone
Nowadays the twilight zone before a relationship becomes official is more confusing than ever.
It starts with all the different words we use to describe our relationship status. Are you “dating”, “courting”, or “talking to each other”?
It gets so “complicated”, as Facebook states it, that many of us forget that the primary purpose for that season is to evaluate whether or not he is the one whom God has for you.
Even though you might have an idea of what you consider “husband material”, you might not know what signs to look for and how to know God’s will in a relationship.
Because the last thing you want is to let your feelings and emotions take over and distract you from discerning well. You want to be attentive and aware so that you can date with purpose.
While it is oftentimes easy to tell when God wants you to let go of someone, based on his actions and words. There are also clear signs God wants you to be with someone that you can look out for.
That’s why in this post, I am sharing how to know if God wants you to be with someone.
This post contains affiliate links. If you use any of these links to buy a product, I’ll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps me to work in Ministry full-time and cover the expenses of this blog. The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).
10 Signs God wants you to be with someone
1. The relationship glorifies God
How to know if God wants you to be with someone?
Easy. If being with him doesn’t compromise your relationship with God, but rather strengthens it.
The one God has for you will have a similar desire for God as you and encourage you to pursue Christ. He will have similar morals and values and lead a life in which he puts God first.
Because, believe me, God won’t send you someone that corrupts your character or leads you astray. Therefore, you will know that your relationship glorifies God if your conversations and activities honor God with your body, mind, and soul.
2. He’s your answered prayer
While I really don’t want to encourage any of you to treat God like a genie who will cater to unrealistic expectations of a man. I want to encourage you that God knows you and knows the man he has for you.
Therefore, one way to tell if he is “The One” is if the guy you are with possesses the godly characteristics you prayed for.
If you sincerely prayed for your future husband to be kind, loving, and wise then you know God has ordained the relationship if he answered your prayer.
Remember that God has created every single person on this earth. He knows exactly who is right for you and will send him when the time is right. Therefore you won’t have to settle, compromise, or drop your standards if they are godly.
3. He makes you love yourself
There is a very real assumption that if you feel comfortable around your partner without make-up than he’s the one. And that’s very true! But I believe you have to drop more than just your make-up.
Namely the walls around your heart.
Because one way how to know if he’s the one God has for you is when you feel completely comfortable being vulnerable!
Sometimes sharing our deepest secrets and biggest flaws can be a challenge. We are scared that he might not like it and leave, or we may simply be ashamed of them.
However, the right one will make you feel good about yourself and love you just the way you are. So if you can confide in him and love seeing yourself through his eyes, then he might just be the one that God has for you.
4. You make each other better
Fact is every relationship, no matter if romantic or not, will either add to your life or subtract from it.
And the man God wants you to be with will add to it.
God won’t send you someone that drains your energy and disturbs your peace, but he will lead you to a man that edifies you. This man will be a safe haven for your thoughts and dreams, and he will believe and support you on your journey.
So ask yourself the following questions: Does he have your back when life is hard? Does he boost your confidence when you feel like giving up?
If he’s the right one for you, he will support you when you face challenges and vice versa and the two of you will make each other better.
5. You become part of each other’s life
One way to know that a man is dating you with intention is if he prioritizes spending time with you every week. While your life should not revolve around each other, they definitely should include each other.
You will notice that before he makes plans with his friends, he ensures that you get to spend time with each other first.
And whenever he has exciting news to share or something to talk about you are the first person that he contacts. The truth is the best relationships are the ones where the couple considers each other as best friends and truly share their lives with each other.
When you have a true bond that is built on real intimacy and not just physical attraction you will enjoy spending time together and talking for hours so much more.
6. His actions speak louder than his words
One thing I believe God does when he wants you to be with someone is that he will send you very clear signs of whether or not the other person is the one for you.
That’s why you have to pay close attention to his words and actions. Do they match? A man who is in it for the long run wants to be trustworthy and make sure that he’s reliable.
He won’t say one thing and do another. But rather show you with his actions that he is serious about you.
Many men will speak about all the things they want to do, but only a few will actually follow up and put in the work. And they will only do so for the woman they value.
When God sends you a man, that man will have integrity and stand by his word.
7. He knows what he wants
We live in a time where we can connect with hundreds of people through online dating. And that has influenced a man’s desire to commit to one woman.
A lot of them are scared that they might find someone “better” after they are already committed to you, but if you ask them what “better” is, they can’t seem to put it in words.
If God put him in your life, that will not be the case for him. He will know you are the right one for him, based on your personality, actions, and most likely your looks (yes attraction does play a role).
A man who knows what he wants will show you by stating his intentions for the relationship early on. He will have a vision for the relationship he is looking for and the type of woman he wants in it.
8. He pursues you
We all know the saying and the movie “He’s just not that into you”.
One of the many signs that you are dating someone that just isn’t that into you is that he will not put in any effort to be with you. Every interaction will be initiated by you and oftentimes every date will be planned by you too.
It feels like the love and interest is one-sided.
However, one of the signs God wants you to be with someone, is that he will send a man that actively pursues you. That man will call, will text and he will enjoy planning a date or two to make you happy.
Because one of the most obvious signs God wants you to be with someone is that the relationship will flourish if he is the one and will end if he is not the one.
9. You trust him
The funny thing about trust is that it needs to be earned. Like a bank account, both of you need to make little deposits to that trust bank account daily. And after a while when you feel comfortable, you can start increasing the amount.
The man God has for you will make you feel comfortable investing. You will trust him because of his words and actions as mentioned above.
His intentions for you will be clear and you will feel peace about the relationship.
The best way to test that is to observe his actions when he’s around you. Is he open and communicative or closed up and hard to read?
Does he have a problem with you being close when he’s on the phone or reading e-mails? Or does he ask you to pick up a call if he’s busy?
These habits might seem small, but if he’s overly secretive around you it’s an obvious sign that he’s hiding bigger things from you.
In a thriving relationship, your fears and doubts will vanish the more time you spend together. You will start to trust him, not just with the relationship but with your life, goals, and future.
10. He respects you
Too often we think respecting someone only refers to the way we speak to them. However, in relationships respect is part of the foundation you build on and can make or break it.
It’s the daily habits that you have to look out for in the beginning. One way to know if God has ordained the relationship is whether he respects you.
Does he respect your time and give you his uninterrupted attention when you are together? Or is he preoccupied with work and other things?
Another way to see if he respects you is in conversations. Does he repeatedly cut you off when you discuss something? Or does he value your opinion and appreciate your point of view?
Last but not least, is he loyal? Now this one is an important one!
Remember, that being in a relationship means the two of you are merging two completely different families, backgrounds, and experiences.
That means you will run into situations where one of you is wrongly perceived. And only if the two of you can stick up for each other, your relationship can survive.
And I know that even with all these signs God wants you to be with someone, it can sometimes be hard to know for sure. That’s why it’s important to understand what God’s will is for our romantic relationships.
How to know God’s will in a relationship
God sends people into our lives for one reason and that is to serve him and build his kingdom on earth. So every relationship you find yourself in should serve that purpose.
Therefore a very simple way to know God’s will in a relationship is to analyze whether the relationship aligns with God’s purpose for your life.
I know that finding your purpose can be very intimidating. Because more often than not, we don’t know what our purpose is yet. However, once you do, you have to honestly ask yourself if your relationship aligns with it.
Is your boyfriend bringing you closer to what God has called you to do? Or is he pushing you away from it? You will know the answer to that by how much he supports and encourages you in your pursuit.
If you feel like you have to give up on your calling in order to be with him, then it means the relationship is not aligned with God’s purpose for you.
A lot of times you will even notice that God is leading you to the one, by using your purpose.
Signs God is leading you to the one
As a single woman in my 30’s it’s easy to get frustrated and sometimes exhausted from dating. You start to wonder how many frogs you will have to kiss until you find your prince.
And while I do believe that the way to finding the one is by putting in time and effort, I also know that there are ways you can be more effective.
Just like with every other area of your life, God is present in your love life. He will send you signs that will help you know whether you are on the right path or not. And some of the signs God is leading you to the one that I have witnessed include:
- A peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7): When God is leading you to the one you will feel at peace whether or not you are in a relationship. There will be no confusion and no anxiety around your relationship status. You can tell that the season you are in is anointed by God.
- Everything seems to work out for your good (Romans 8:28): When God is leading you to the one, you will notice that the right doors are opening and the wrong doors are closing. Something that rocked your world three months ago now makes complete sense and turns out to be God’s perfect intervention.
- You are evolving as a woman (John 15:2): When God is leading you to the one, He will often prepare you for the relationship unbeknownst to you. Suddenly, some of the things you might have considered a deal-breaker in the past, you now have compassion for and lead you to your future husband. In contrast to what many of us believe, we are not born ready for a godly relationship and need to be intentional about preparing for marriage if we want to have a long-lasting relationship.
I hope these signs God wants you to be with someone helped you discern your current relationship better. For more help on how to identify the one God has for you, download my full questionnaire.