How to know he is the one? – 10 Godly Signs He is Right For You

Nowadays the twilight zone before a relationship becomes official is more confusing than ever before.

With so many different words used to describe your relationship status. Dating? Courting? Talking to each other? You oftentimes forget that the primary purpose of that season is to evaluate whether or not he is the one whom God has for you.

Even though you might have an idea of what you consider ‘husband material’, you might not know what signs to look for. And the last thing you want is to let your feelings get in the way of your true happiness.

While it easy to define that he’s not the one based on his actions, there are also signs that will show you that he is husband material. In fact, you can use these 50 Questions to identify “The One” once you finished reading this blog post. 

So before you jump into a relationship, ask yourself ‘How to know he is the one?’ and use these 10 Godly Signs to evaluate if he is right for you.

10 Signs he is the one God has for you

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The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

1. His actions speak louder than his words

I said it before and I will say it again. If somebody shows you who they are, believe them.

The one thing I advise you to observe early in the dating phase is if he keeps his word? A guy who is in it for the long run wants to be trustworthy and make sure he’s reliable.

He won’t say one thing and do another. But rather show you with his actions that he is serious about you.

Many men will speak about all the things they want to do, but only a few will actually follow up and put in the work. And they will only do so for the woman they value. 

2. He knows what he wants

We live in a time where millions of people are at the tip of our thumbs and index fingers. And that has influenced a man’s desire to commit to one woman.

A lot of them are scared that they might find someone ‘better’ after they are already committed to you, but if you ask them what ‘better’ is, they can’t seem to put it in words.

If he is the one, that will not be the case for him. He will have identified you as the right one for himself, based on your personality, actions and most likely your looks (yes attraction does play a role).

A man who knows what he wants will show you by stating his #relationshipgoals early on without being afraid that you might get too hopeful. He will have a vision for the relationship he is looking for and who he wants in it.

3. He pursues you

We all know the saying and the movie “He’s not that into you”.

One of the many signs that you are dating someone that just isn’t that into you is that he will not put in an effort to be with you. Every interaction is initiated by you and oftentimes every date is planned by you too.

However, if he is the one, then he will actively pursue you. He will call, he will text and he will enjoy planning a date or two to make you happy. 

4. He’s your answered prayer

While I really don’t want to encourage any of you to treat God like a Genie who will answer an unrealistic list of superficial requirements and qualities. I want to encourage you that God knows you and knows the man he has for you.

If your sincere prayer for a godly man includes godly characteristics, then you will know that he is the one if he possesses them or the fruit in his life shows that he is working towards them.

Remember that God has beautifully and wonderfully created each one of us. He knows exactly who is right for you and will send them when the time is right. Therefore you won’t have to settle, compromise or drop your standards if they are God-given. 

5. The relationship glorifies God

If he’s the one, being with him doesn’t compromise your relationship with God, but rather builds it up.

He has a similar desire for God and encourages you to pursue Christ. He has the same morals and values, that include a godly lifestyle in which he puts God first. Because God won’t send you someone that corrupts your character or leads you astray.

You will know that your relationship glorifies God if your conversations and activities honor God with your body, mind, and soul.

How to know he is the one? – 10 Godly Signs He is Right For You

6. He makes you love yourself

There is a very real assumption that if you feel comfortable around your partner without make-up than he’s the one. And that’s very true! But I believe you have to drop more than just your cosmetic make-up. Namely the walls around your heart.

Because the best relationships are the ones where you feel completely comfortable being vulnerable!

Sometimes sharing our deepest secrets and biggest flaws can be a challenge, because we are scared they might not like it and leave, or simply because we are ashamed of them.

However, the right one will make you feel good about yourself and love you just the way you are. So if you can confide in him and love seeing yourself through his eyes, then he might just be the one that God has for you.

7. You become part of each other’s life

While your days don’t revolve around each other, they definitely include each other. Before he makes plans with his friends for the week, he ensures that you get to spend time with each other too.

And whenever he has exciting news to share or something to talk about you’re the first person that comes to his mind.

I know this might sound cheesy, but the best relationships are the ones where the couple considers each other as best friends.

You enjoy spending time together, you enjoy talking for hours and you can laugh about the same things. You don’t just like each other romantically, but also as a person.

8. You make each other better

Fact is every relationship, no matter if romantic or not, should add to your life and not subtract from it.

And the man you want to spend the rest of your life with should be a safe haven for your thoughts, your dreams, and your journey. The last thing you want is to be with someone that doesn’t support or believes in you.

Does he have your back when life is hard? Does He boost your confidence when you feel like giving up?

If he’s the one for you, he will support you face challenges and feel like giving up.

9. You trust him

Too often, we put up with someone that is not truthful, just to find out that our gut feeling was right from the beginning and we didn’t realize that God ended our relationship.

But trust has to be earned and only given after he showed you that he is trustworthy.

Observe his actions when he’s around you. Is he open and communicative or closed up and hard to read?

 Does he have a problem with you being close when he’s on the phone or reading e-mails or does he ask you to pick up a call if he’s busy?

These habits might seem small, but if he’s overly secretive around you it’s an obvious sign that he’s hiding bigger things from you.

In a thriving relationship, your fears and doubts will vanish the more time you spend together. You will start to trust him, not just in the relationship but with your life, goals, and future. The man you commit to should be a good leader that you enjoy following.

10. He respects you

Too often we think respecting someone only refers to the way we speak to them. However, in relationships respect is part of the foundation you build on and can make or break it.

It’s the daily habits that you have to look out for in the beginning.

Does he respect your time and gives you his uninterrupted attention when you are together or is he preoccupied with work and other things?

If your first reflex is to protect him by giving a poor excuse as to why he answers his text messages while he is with you, then this is a good indication that something is wrong.

Yes, we are all busy nowadays, but spending quality time with each other is important and a choice you have to make. So ask yourself is he choosing to be present?

Another way to see if he respects you is in conversations. Is he repeatedly cutting you off when you are discussing something? Or does he value your opinion and appreciate your point of view?

No two people will see eye to eye on everything and that’s good because it means you are challenging each other as people.

But if you find yourself consistently being reprimanded, cut off or joked about, then that’s a sign that he doesn’t respect you and doesn’t see you as a grown woman that can hold her own.

Last but not least, is he loyal? Now this one is an important one!

Remember, that being in a relationship means the two of you are merging two completely different families, backgrounds, and experiences.

That means you will run into situations where one of you is wrongly perceived. And only if the two of you can stick up for each other, your relationship can survive.

Being loyal is a form of respect that shows you that he has your back even if it means he has to oppose people he cherishes.  

It can be hard to determine if he is the one God has for you, but this list should help you. However, if you are looking for a more practical way to discern whether or not he is the one, then download these 50 Questions to identify ‘The One’ and answer them honestly. 

Do you agree this is How to know he is the one? Or would you add more signs that he is the one to the list? Share your experiences BELOW!

45 Comments on How to know he is the one? – 10 Godly Signs He is Right For You

  1. Very encouraging blog !! I am also a single Christian and I am a bit older than you. That said, it’s very encouraging to read your sharing here. May Glod bless you ~

    • The Bible calls us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers in 2 Corinthians 6:14. Someone that is not Christian is an unbeliever.

      • Christianity is not the only religion in the world. You can’t assume someone is a non believer because they’re not Christian. That’s a boxed in way to look at things and definitely not what you should be advising to others.

        • Hi Ashley, thanks for your input. A non-believer to Christians is someone that does not believe in Jesus Christ. And I don’t know any other Religion in the world that does.

  2. Thank you for this, I recently met someone so unexpectedly and everything that your listing mentions is everything I have found in him. I Pray he may be it but only God knows & our Faith is so strong towards what we have that we’ve come to the understanding that no matter what happens it’s Gods plan! So thank you for your Beautiful words you truly made me believe a little more! God bless.

  3. What if he’s an ex boyfriend but we have been like best friends forever? We both have gone through the same life situations and have kids. We know that we have something that attracts us but we don’t dare to commit. I have started to pray and intercede because I want God to give me clarity.

  4. Right on on all points. I married the wrong one. And he doesn’t respect me at all. Can never finish a sentence. And he pushes me down physically. Among other things.He never protects me either. Just feeds me to the wolves every single time.

      • ?? Exactly am humbled and I wil take time to observe his ways though we are at a distance but still God wil answer be blessed dear

  5. Pray for me, I believe God has brought Boaz into my life, but my growing up without a dad and his having an abusive first wife has strained ourcommunication,though at the core, we love God and desire to put Christ first and center, even if it means no marriage. Your list is helpful, but even under the best of circumstances, God sometimes doesn’t answer every desire regarding our dream spouse, in some cases, for the benefit of the couple growing together in the Lord. I see how immature I was and how God might be blessing me now by keeping me from marriage for years, yet I still have fear to marry. I realize now God might be placing a calling of marriage on my life and the nature of it is to stretch and grow us both. Anyway, keep us in prayer as we are older and lots of people are getting married older. Thanksfor a thought provoking message.

    • Hey Ab, I will absolutely keep you in my prayers. I pray that you receive God’s divine guidance to navigate through this situation.

    • An, one way you can know if this relationship is from God is if it lines up with God’s truth in scripture. You mentioned him having a first wife. If this first wife is still living, he has no business looking for another relationship (see Mark 10:2-12). And though your “Boaz” may need alot of grace and support (that you may be able to give him), keep in mind that you aren’t called to be his savior. And while being in this relationship could be a growing experience for you both, it may not be God’s will for you to entertain the idea of marriage. God may be placing a calling for marriage on your life, but you can feel confident that he would never ask or expect you to disobey/disregard his principles for marriage in the process.

  6. I agree with all of these, especially the action speak louder then words and pursuing you. Also that he puts an effort to make time to see you. This list makes it easier to see when a man is not right for you. My sister is starting to see a man that I don’t think is right for her. He would say that he would like to see her on a certain day and then on that certain day he would never message her, not even to say that something has come up and that he won’t be able to see her. This has happened a few times. One of my friends also saw them chatting and I just told her that I don’t want my sister to do something silly and the friend told me that she knows this guy well and my sister must not fall for him, because he is a player. Now I’ve warned my sister and our whole family has warned her. But we all know how we can give excuses for the person we are interested in and that words of warning can just fly overhead.
    So I’ve asked God to deal with this, that he will keep this man away from my sister and show her a deeper intimacy with Jesus, that she will not be desperate for a relationship with a person that does not make an efford to see her. I might be wrong and this guy may turn out to be right for her, but going by what the list say I highly doubt that.

    • Hey Nadia, I’m glad your sister has you. You are doing well by protecting her from a distance and entrusting it to the lord. Use prayer as your weapon and intercede for her. You might be able to change her heart or even his heart.

  7. I am so glad that I found this. I have been so BLESSED by it. There is a guy at work who likes me, but I keep questioning if he is the one, but after reading this, I see he is not. He doesn’t even go to church anymore and he can’t give me an answer as to when he may want to go. He says IDK. No, we are just friends.

    Thank You! And I cant wait to read the 50 questions!

    • Hey Trish, I’m so glad you found this post and it served you. Yes, I think that is an easy sign that he is not aligned with God (yet).

  8. I am so toched by this and I have listed some of the points in my book I will be going through at any given time I just thank God for the author of this and the additionals for the powerful words and I pray that may God open my eyes I see is goodness and I may know my partner better

  9. I have a wonderful man come into my life he brought such love to me makes me feel like I can do anything he brought me closer to god I couldn’t ask for a better man but there is someone threatening him to stay away from me or talk to me we love each and we no who it is but he’s scared to call the authorities we both have faith that god will do what’s best for we haven’t talk in three days

  10. Omg! I just came in contact with your blog and what an eye opener for me! These are facts that you stated and sadly for me,the man I thought(well my guts feeling doesn’t completely agree)was for me,I’d say God already ended the relationship because he’s clearly not the one! Thanks so much. God bless you more.

    • Hey Chioma, I’m glad the post confirmed what God has already done. I pray you find peace and grow from this experience. Blessings, Justine

      • I meet a guy from church not during church service, but it was a famiky and friends day at my church for memorial weekend. with that said he looked my way and so did I….idk if that was the right time to exchange numbers but I did after I left off the premises of the lords house. he texted me 1st and every since we been kicking texting like crazy being on the phone for hrs @ a time, but I wanna know is he the one GOD end to me!?

        • Hi Coco,

          relax. You have known each other for a very short time. You can not determine whether someone is for you from a few texts. Enjoy getting to know each other while guarding your heart.


    • Hi, great piece. Stumbled on this while looking for answers and now I am completely sure he is not for me. Thanks Justine, God continue to increase you.

  11. I have been with my man for 5 years now. He ticks off everything in this list and more. Intact I prayed for a my perfect man and God literally answered my prayer the very next day. I love him to death and would do anything for him. The issue I have which has haunted me for years is I am not attracted to him. And I desire sex and affections from other men. All I can assume is that God will only give me the attraction once I commit to him in blind faith and marry him. As I know it’s not Godly to be sleeping together out of marriage ,as we are. Thanks would love some advice

  12. Great blog post! A couple weeks ago I expressed interest in and started dating one of my best friends. He fits every single one of these traits. However, I feel as if I made a mistake in expressing feelings that I now know came from loneliness and boredom (it’s summertime and I am home from college). Plus, he’s the only guy friend I’ve spent most of my time with and Im afraid of giving that up to someone else. I know it’s selfish and wrong to continue on with this relationship, but how can I honestly tell him that I made a mistake when it’s only been a couple weeks. Is it possible my feelings could change and I could learn to develop romantic feelings for him?

    • Hey Nicole, thanks for sharing this. I commend you for honestly admitting that you made a decision out of loneliness. While I don’t think you should tell him that he was just your time killer for the summer. I would honestly let him know that you don’t believe it was the right decision because you don’t see him as a romantic partner but only as a friend. Hopefully, you will be able to stay friends after.

      Love & Light

  13. Great post. I have been dating a guy from a completely different country (Africa) who is a Pastor. I am having to find out cultural differences and learning what is cultural and what is his character
    He is so humble and has integrity and makes time when he can but it is very hard. I have got so much from this post
    Thank you

  14. Hi Justine – I loved your article. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and struggle with anxiety. Over the last two months, I have felt disconnected from him and have informed him of some things I’d like him to be doing, like going to church regularly. He has not taken that step, but I still feel very anxious and unsure about our relationship. Any tips you have? Thanks!

    • I should also mention that I find myself not wanting to see him and not wanting to reply to texts, but can’t decide if it’s from my anxiety and wanting to be alone or if the bigger issue is that I know he’s not right for me.

    • Hi Haylee sounds to me like your body is telling you what you have been sending all along – that he is not the right man for you. You have to understand that our mind will protect us from anything that harms us, meaning that if you subconsciously fear that he is not good for you and are stressed about it, it will induce stress hormones that can look like anxiety. You are only hurting yourself by staying. I suggest you truly pray and fast about the relationship and find out what God is telling you to do.

  15. The man I met a year and a half ago meets and exceeds your list. He clearly stated he has prayed for the Lord to bring his future wife from our first date. I have also. It’s been hard to meet someone who agrees to abstain from sex outside of marriage but we have honored this. We love the outdoors and spend every free moment in the mountains. He is my best friend. But I have zero romantic attraction – zero. I’m devastated and don’t know what to do. I’ve begged the Lord to tell me if we’re to marry and believe the attraction will come (?). He is clearly attracted to me romantically. He is 34 and I’m 32. I would be heartbroken to break it off but as of now can’t imagine sleeping together. (We have kissed and it was awful for me.) Does anyone know what the Lord says? Please tell me, Lord.

    • Hi Clare, I don’t think there is a concrete answer to your problem and I can understand that it is a hard decision to make. However, always remember that we are first and foremost brothers and sisters in Christ. If you decide to stay in that relationship even though you are not attracted to him and later on decide to break it off. You will hurt him a lot and that is a horrible thing to do to your brother in Christ. So I suggest you go before God and ask him to show you ways to increase his attraction to you. If it doesn’t work, I don’t believe you should ‘convince’ to get married. Blessings, Justine

  16. We have been together for six years now but sometimes I sense insercurit cos dere was we want our ways and within dat time dat was wen he had a child with someone else bug they are married and now we are back together again am scared but don’t want to trough away our six years of relationship.

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