How to know if you found the right person for you
If we are completely honest with each other, then we can all agree that every woman wants to find the right guy for her. The one special man that will add love, peace, and purpose to her life. That’s why we date.
However, there comes a time in your life when you don’t have any more time to waste and need to date strategically. Instead of talking to a man for weeks and months on end just to find out that he is not the one after all. You want to develop a system that will help you know if you found the right person asap.
Luckily, there are three things you can look out for if you want to find the right man. Each of them is an indicator that he might be the one for you and is worth investing more time in. I call them the three C’s of romance. Here is how to know if you found the right guy for you.
1. Chemistry
Chemistry is like the glue in dating. It is what keeps you hooked to the other person and makes you feel excited about them. When you have chemistry with a man you will find yourself swooning over him and looking forward to the next date.
Without chemistry, on the other hand, the two of you will have a hard time connecting to each other, which means that the excitement and initial attraction will die down.
Therefore, you want to assess early on if you feel attracted to him physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Yes, there is more to attraction than just looks. Truth is, once you start dating someone exclusively, you want to ensure that he can stimulate your body as well as your brain.
That’s why I suggest you make a list of the things you find attractive about him and rate them based on how excited, challenged or inspired you feel by them. If the majority of them score a 5 or below you might want to reconsider your decision to date him.
2. Compatibility
The second C is of course compatibility. Once you feel a spark between you two and feel attracted to him in multiple ways, you want to ensure that you are actually a good fit long term. Compatibility is what will show you whether your lives align with each other and the relationship can stand the test of time.
Therefore, you want to find out if his values match yours. A few questions you could ask include: How important is family to him? What is his idea of a successful life? What is his relationship with faith?
In addition, you want to get an idea of his purpose and figure out if you see yourself in his vision for his life. Do your careers/ callings align or do you feel led to a completely different lifestyle?
Remember, that when you meet the right one for you, you won’t have to give up parts of yourself to be with him.
So, write down your three top non-negotiables and pay attention to them while dating. If you don’t have any, I strongly suggest you develop them now, because they will protect you from settling and help you be more intentional while dating.
3. Commitment
Probably the most important sign that you met the right guy is that he is willing to commit. No matter how strong the chemistry and how ideal the compatibility. If he is not ready to commit to you, I argue that he is not the one. As I like to repeat in my posts and videos. The right guy at the wrong time is still the wrong guy.
Therefore, find out early if he is ready to commit to a relationship in this season of his life. Because if he is not, you will waste your precious time dating him and find yourself trying to undo the emotional damage for months after.
A good way to bring up the commitment talk is by getting him to open up about his plans for the future. Invite him to share with you where his head is when it comes to your future. Talk to him about marriage and kids without judging him for it. If you can use feelings language like described in my book “From Situationship to Relationship” which will get him to open up to you.
I know a lot of people say when you meet the right person you just know and I believe that’s true. That’s why the three C’s are so important. You will know he is the right man for you when all of these three criteria seem to flow.