attract love in 2023
A couple of years ago, I published a YouTube video titled “How to attract love.” (linked below). In the video, I shared what I believe to be the number 1 secret on how to attract love.
The belief that you are worthy of love!
The video is meant to encourage women to adopt a new approach to finding love.
Instead of working hard for love and trying to convince, force, or even chase a man, I want you to understand that you are worthy of love already.
Because so often we get caught up in the idea that we don’t deserve a loving and healthy relationship unless we bring something extraordinary to the table.
And when we fail to be the perfect partner, we start to believe that we are not worthy of it.
But that’s not true.
You don’t become worthy of a loving relationship because of what you do or for how you look, or what you have achieved. But simply for who you are!
And once you go from negative to positive thinking, you are able to manifest your ideal partner.
In this article, I am sharing how to attract love into your life by using the same simple steps I took earlier this year.
How can I attract love?
Attracting love into your life is about having the right mindset and taking the right steps.
Just like the law of attraction states thoughts precede actions. So, simply changing where you go or what you do to meet men is not enough.
You have to get to the root of the problem and look at your negative thoughts pertaining to men, as well as your self-limiting beliefs regarding love.
You need to identify any negative energy that may be blocking real love from coming into your life and transform it into positive energy that will help you call in the love of your life.
Therefore, the following 10 steps to attract love, include 5 mindset shifts as well as 5 practical action steps. Both are necessary to manifest true love.
How to attract love into your life
1. Identify and overcome your fears
It is no secret that fear plays a big role in dating and relationships.
The fear of abandonment, the fear of rejection, the fear of engulfment, and the fear of intimacy often influence our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. For most of us, they are a major source of limiting beliefs.
In order to attract love into your life, you will have to be honest with yourself by opening up about your fears and doubts.
Once I admitted to myself that I was afraid men would leave me because I wasn’t an Instagram model look-alike, I realized how my low self-esteem was the main reason why most of my past relationships didn’t work.
Identifying and admitting it, was the first step to manifesting my dream partner.
So take a deep dive into your past romantic relationships and analyze the situations and feelings that seem to repeat themselves. Those patterns will tell you a lot about how you might unwillingly be sabotaging your love life.
Once you identify those fears, it is important to implement positive changes.
Exercises such as meditating, memorizing scripture, or journaling can help you control your thoughts before they control you.
2. Learn to love yourself completely
I strongly believe that we attract people into our lives that mirror back the love we have for ourselves.
Therefore, until you learn to love yourself completely, you will continue to attract men that approve and reject the same parts of you that you do.
In order to develop a deep love for yourself, you have to start understanding, accepting, and embracing each and every part of yourself.
In my case, I stopped rejecting the little things about myself that I don’t like, such as my thick thighs or my shyness. I started looking at it from a different perspective.
Having thick thighs meant I had a strong lower body. And being shy meant that I was a good listener and very empathetic.
I started noticing the benefits of my so-called flaws and thanked them for what they added to my life.
Because once you learn to value yourself, you understand that you are enough and treat yourself lovingly. Which then attracts the same love from someone else and leads to better relationships.
3. Believe in love
Unfortunately, our past relationship history highly influences the way we see love today.
And if you have had bad experiences with love in the past, as I did, then it is very common that your beliefs about yourself and love are skewed.
These thoughts and beliefs are called cognitive distortions. It’s when your mind keeps feeding you irrational/ inaccurate thoughts and beliefs that cloud your perception of reality, usually in a negative way.
A good example of one of my old beliefs is the statement that “there are no good men out there”. I used to say it a lot because I had had so many wrong partners before.
I basically stopped believing in genuine love.
Until I realized that it was not true. I had known unconditional love thanks to my family. So I knew it is possible.
I changed my mindset to believing in love again and more importantly believing that the right person for me was out there.
Luckily, you have the power to change your beliefs and adopt a positive attitude toward love.
Whenever you notice yourself thinking or even speaking negative thoughts, challenge them by asking yourself if that statement is a fact or simply your opinion.
By making this distinction between fact and opinion you lessen the influence your own thoughts have on you and gain a more objective perspective.
4. Adopt an abundance mindset
One of the main reasons why a lot of women hold on to toxic people or stay single for long is because we believe that the love we desire is not available.
We worry that we will never be able to find a man that meets our needs.
In essence that describes a scarcity mindset.
The assumption is that there are not enough potential partners to go around. Which could not be further from the truth.
In a world with more than 3 billion men, I can assure you that there is a soul mate for everybody and more than one guy that can be your perfect match.
Rather than giving up on dating altogether and hiding behind social media, adopt an abundance mindset. Remind yourself daily that God is able to provide the kind of relationship you desire.
Get into the habit of praying for your future husband and trust that it will happen for you.
5. Be grateful for where you are right now
One major key to attracting love into your life is loving your life the way it is right now.
Being truly happy, grateful, and excited about life on a daily basis even without a relationship, turns you into the kind of person any future partner wants.
In order to manifest love, you have to become a magnet for the relationship you desire. So if you believe you will be happy and grateful once you are in a relationship, the best way to attract that is by being happy and grateful in the present moment.
If you start off every single day with gratitude and excitement you attract good things into your life, including love.
While the above points refer to the mindset shift needed to attract love and marriage, there are also practical steps that you can take today to make room for love in your life.
6. Let go of the past
The first practical step on my list of how to attract love into your life in 2023 is to let go of your past.
Your past boyfriends, your past relationships, your past experiences. You would be surprised by how many women do not deal with their past relationships.
It might be that you are resenting your ex-boyfriend because he did not want to get married.
Maybe you are waiting to get closure after your last situationship or feel hurt because a man did not love you as much as you loved him.
Whatever the reason is that you are still holding on to the good or bad experiences of your past relationships, it’s time to let go.
Delete and remove anything from your life that reminds you of your exes, such as pictures, text messages, and the old sweater he gave you.
As you remove the traces of your love for each other, thank and forgive him, your old self, and the relationship. Remember that everything you learned then is preparing you for a new person and better relationship.
Therefore, there is no need to be upset, because his departure made room for a new relationship.
7. Get specific on the love you desire
Now, this is where the fun part of manifestation starts!
In order to attract your soulmate, you have to get specific about the type of love, the type of relationship, and the type of man you want. How you want to feel in the relationship is key to attracting and discerning the right partner for you.
Make a list of feelings you want to experience in the relationship.
Things like make you feel “safe”, “valued”, and “loved” were on top of my list. The more feelings and emotions you include in that list, the stronger the imprint on your subconscious mind.
After that move on to the character traits you want him to have. Things like “emotionally available”, “purpose-driven”, and “kind-hearted” are a few good personality traits to look for in a godly man.
The clearer you are about what you want, the easier you’ll be able to recognize “The One” when you meet him. You will be attracted to the man that is most aligned with your vision of love.
8. Declare your desire to the world
I am always shocked about how many people skip this step. I think it’s because a lot of women are ashamed of admitting that they are looking for love.
But it’s so important because God moves once you tell him your heart’s desire. God has someone for you, He just needs to know you are ready.
Whether you pray about it, write it down in your journal, or voice it to a friend or family member. Actually saying or writing down your intention makes it so much more powerful!
You will see it will make it more important to you, but also open up opportunities for you to meet positive people that can bring you closer to your goal.
9. Get on the dating field
The next practical step to attracting love is to actually get out and meet new people.
By now you might have figured that at home in front of the TV is not the best way to meet men.
In order to find new love you have to leave your comfort zone and engage in experiences and activities that enlarge your network.
Go to more after-work outings, join a boot camp at your local gym or join a dating app you trust as I did.
The goal is to enjoy your single season, which includes going on dates and interacting with men.
Try to lessen the pressure, by staying in the moment and getting to know your date before fantasizing about your future together.
10. Affirm yourself continuously
The last thing is to keep your energy high by using positive affirmations.
When you go on a journey to attract love into your life, it can take a while. And oftentimes we lose patience and get discouraged if it takes too long.
But that’s when you have to find ways to stay positive and trust in your ability to find the perfect romantic partner.
And a great way to do that is to include affirmations in your daily practice.
You can say them to yourself in front of the mirror in the mornings or you can write them down on post-its and then stick them all over your living space.
That will keep your energy high and allow you to manifest from a place of surrender and trust.
What does attracting love mean?
Attracting love simply means positioning yourself to get what you want.
Think of it like a magnet. If your magnet is adjusted correctly it will attract what it is supposed to. But if you are not, then you will always attract the wrong people and relationships.
The above steps to attracting love will help you adjust accordingly.
How do you attract the love you deserve?
As mentioned in the beginning, believing that you are worthy of easy, beautiful love is the first step. So in order to attract the love you deserve, you have to first identify what it is you think you deserve.
Because I can assure you, you are most likely already attracting it. The only problem is, that your subconscious idea of love and your conscious idea of love doesn’t match.
And I am a great example of that.
I used to believe that I wasn’t worthy of a man that had all his finances together because I didn’t have mine figured out. So guess what I kept attracting? Men who were still in the early stages of their careers, paying off debt, and unsure of their success.
This meant that none of these men were ready to commit as financial stability is a very important prerequisite for men to feel ready.
Year after year I would find myself in relationships with men that did not want to commit.
It wasn’t until I changed how I felt about my worthiness that I attracted a man that was fully settled in life and therefore ready to provide the love I deserve.
So what is it you feel you deserve?