How to attract love into your life
At the beginning of the year, I published a YouTube video titled ‘How to attract love in 2020’. In the video, I shared what I believe to be the number 1 secret on how to attract love.
The belief that you are worthy of love!
The video is meant to encourage women to adopt a new approach to finding love. Rather than working for love and trying to convince, prove and chase a man, I want you to understand that you are worthy to be loved for who you are. Not for what you do, how you look, or what you have achieved, but simply for who you are.
Because the truth is, real love makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel desired, at peace, and safe.
Thankfully, that type of love is available to you. And all you need is to know how to become a magnet for it. That’s why in this article, I am sharing with you the simple steps on how to attract love into your life.
Attracting love into your life is about having the right mindset. Just like believing that you are worthy of being loved, you need to identify, remove and embrace the different thought patterns that govern your outlook on love.
That’s why the first five steps refer to the mindset shift that is necessary to manifest true love.
1. Identify and overcome your fears
It is no secret that fear plays a big role in dating and relationships. The fear of abandonment/rejection, the fear of engulfment, and the fear of intimacy oftentimes subconsciously influence your thoughts, emotions, and behavior through limiting beliefs.
In order to attract love into your life, you will have to be honest with yourself by opening up about your fears and doubts.
Deep dive into your past relationships and analyze the situations and feelings that seem to repeat themselves. Those patterns will tell you a lot about how you might unwillingly be self-sabotaging your love life.
Once you identify those fears, it is important that you find ways to overcome them. Exercises such as meditating, memorizing scripture, or journaling can help you to control your thoughts before they control you.
2. Learn to love yourself completely
I strongly believe that we attract people into our lives that mirror the love we have for ourselves. Therefore, until you learn to love yourself completely, you will continue to attract men that approve and reject the same parts of you that you do.
In order to develop a deep love for yourself, you have to start understanding, accepting and embracing each and every part of you. Rather than rejecting the parts of you that you dislike, such as your thick thighs or your shyness, look at them from a different perspective and thank them for what they do add to your life.
Because only when you learn to value yourself and understand that you are enough, you will treat yourself lovingly and attract the same love from someone else.
3. Believe in Love
Unfortunately, our past relationship history highly influences the way we see love today. If you had bad experiences with love in the past, it is very common that your beliefs about yourself and love are skewed.
These thoughts and beliefs are called cognitive distortions. It’s when your mind keeps feeding you irrational/ inaccurate thoughts and beliefs that cloud your perception of reality, usually in a negative way.
A good example of a cognitive distortion is the statement that “there are no good men our there”, which we know is not true.
Luckily, you have the power to change these thoughts and train your mind to believe in love again.
Whenever you notice yourself thinking or even speaking these thoughts, challenge them by asking yourself if that statement is a fact or simply your opinion. By making this distinction between fact and opinion you lessen the influence your own thoughts have on you and gain a more objective perspective.
4. Adopt an abundance mindset
One of the main reasons why women hold on to toxic relationships or stay single for too long is because we believe that the love we desire is not available. We worry that we will never be able to find a man that meets our needs and settle.
In essence that describes a scarcity mindset. The assumption that there is not enough to go around. Which could not be further from the truth.
In a world with more than 3 billion men, I can assure that there is more than one guy out there that is your match.
Rather than giving up on dating altogether and hiding at home, adopt an abundance mindset by reminding yourself that God is able to provide.
Get into the habit of praying for your future husband and trust that it will happen for you.
5. Adopt a new perspective
One major key to attracting love into your life is by loving your life the way it is right now. Being joyful, grateful, and excited about your life on a daily basis even without a relationship, will inspire you to become the best version of yourself.
By adopting an attitude of gratitude and reminding yourself of the many blessings you have already received, you attract good things into your life, including love in different forms.
So, invest, empower and develop yourself daily, because one of the most attractive qualities in people is seeing them live their lives to the fullest.
While the above points refer to the mindset shift needed to attract love and marriage, there are also practical steps that you can take today to make room for love in your life.
Let go of the past
You will be surprised by how many women have not dealt with their past relationships. It might be that you are resenting your ex-boyfriend for choosing someone else over you, are waiting to get closure after your last situation ghosted you, or feel hurt because he did not love you as much as you loved him.
Whatever the reason is that you are still holding on to the good or bad experiences of your past relationships, it’s time to let go.
Delete and remove anything from your life that reminds you of your ex, such as pictures, text messages, and the old sweater he gave you.
As you remove the traces of your love for each other, thank and forgive him, your old self and the relationship. Remember that everything you learned then is preparing you for a new and better relationship now. Therefore, there is no need to be upset, because his departure made room for a new relationship.
Get specific on the love you desire
Now, this is where the fun part starts! Manifestation!
Getting specific on what type of love you want to experience and how you want to feel in it is key to attracting and discerning the right partner for you.
Make a list of the character traits you want him to have. Things like ‘emotionally available’, ‘purpose-driven’ and ‘kind-hearted’ are a few good personality traits to look for in a partner. After that move on to how the relationship makes you feel ‘safe’, ‘excited’, ‘aligned with God’s purpose’. The more feelings and emotions you include in that list, the stronger the imprint on your subconscious mind.
The clearer you are about what you want, the easier you’ll be able to recognize ‘The One’ when you meet him, because you attracted a man that is aligned with you.
Get out (on the dating field)
And the last step in attracting love into your life is by actually getting out and meeting new people. By now you might have figured that at home in front of the TV is not the best way to meet men.
In order to find or be found by ‘The One’, you need to first meet him. Leave your comfort zone and engage in experiences and activities that enlarge your network.
Go to more after-work outings, join a Bootcamp at your local gym or finally download a dating app.
The goal is to enjoy your single season completely, which includes going on dates and interacting with men. Date without pressure, meaning stay in the moment and get to know your date before fantasizing about your future together.
In conclusion, the best way to attract love into your life is to love your life first.