If a guy likes you he will make the effort
In case you didn’t know, my entire blogging career came about with this one statement “if a guy likes you he will…”.
During most of my twenties, I settled for the bare minimum energy from men. I thought that in order to get a man to commit I had to prove myself by looking and behaving a certain way.
It wasn’t until I met one of my ex-boyfriends that I realized that if a guy likes you he will make the effort. No convincing, no manipulation, and no need to play games. Just genuine interest because he likes who you are as a person.
I was 29 when I learned that…
So it comes as no surprise to me that most of the emails and Instagram dm’s I get are about how to know if a guy is playing you or really likes you. Because just like me back then you are confused and I don’t blame you.
This is why I decided it’s time to set the record straight and stop sugarcoating the truth.
How do you know if a guy really likes you?
There is this viral Instagram sound that has been popular for a while and it says something like this: “If he likes you, you will know. If he doesn’t you will be confused.”
And honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything more simple and more true. And yet so many of us will defend staying in situationships that leave us confused and anxious.
Why? So that we can continue ignoring the subtle signs that he is not the right guy for us, to make us feel better about ourselves.
Girls! We have to do better.
So, if you feel like you continuously complain to your girlfriends that “he says he likes me but makes no effort” then this post will help you sort out your love life.
5 ways if a guy likes you he will make the effort
1) If a guy likes you he will contact you
Did you meet a guy at a party and the two of you really hit it off? Did you spend all night talking and sharing a special connection?
However, now it’s a few days later and hasn’t called or texted. So you are wondering if he is just busy or doesn’t like you as much as you like him.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but if a guy likes you he will reach out no matter how much he has going on!
He could be working an 80-hour week and would still text you on his toilet breaks. Why? Because he likes you and wants you to know so he doesn’t miss his chance.
So, instead of coming up with excuses for his lack of communication, your time is better spent facing the music and moving on. That way you can stop settling for the bare minimum and meet guys that will show up and show out.
2) If a guy likes you he will pursue you
Before I get to point number 2 I want to clarify what “pursuing someone” simply means putting in the continued effort to attain a goal.
In this case, the goal is a romantic relationship with you.
Obviously, the amount of effort required will depend on the woman. However, if a guy likes you he will pursue you the way you desire and expect to be pursued.
Meaning if daily communication is one of your standards and you communicated it to him, then he will do that if he is serious about you.
And he won’t consider that to be too much effort, because he knows it’s required in order to get to the next level with you.
3) If a guy likes you he will make time for you
Not sure why this one counts as effort, because honestly spending time with someone you are dating is the least he should do. But that’s a topic for another day.
If you are seeing someone that rarely makes time for you and uses work or other reasons as an excuse, I have to be honest with you, he doesn’t like you like that.
Men are so much more visual and physical than women, so if they like someone they want to see you in person. Every man will want to make sure that there is physical attraction and ideally touch, hug, and kiss you. So, of course, he will make time for you.
That means if he is not, he is just not that into you.
4) If a guy likes you he will take it slow
Now here’s the thing, I actually don’t think that this is true, unless you want to take things slow.
When a man is sure about you and knows that you are the right person for him he will be ready to progress the relationship right away.
However, if you want to take things slow physically or emotionally and communicate it to him he will be willing to wait. Because he likes you and cares for you. He will not try to pressure you but respect your request.
So, if you feel like the guy you are dating does not respect your boundaries and pressures you, then that’s a clear sign he doesn’t value you.
5) If a guy likes you he will commit to you
Last but certainly not least – the commitment struggle. If I received 1$ for every time I heard a woman justify her multi-year relationship that is going nowhere, I’d be a millionaire.
And honestly, I feel for you if you are in that same situation. Because I know you are just trying to make it make sense. However, the truth is if a guy likes you, he will commit to you.
He will make you his girlfriend, his fiancé, and his wife because he wants to be with you. Even if he does not have all his ducks in a row, he will commit to you because he likes you.