How to keep a man interested longterm
As you know most of the posts on my blog talk about how to identify the right guy and how to avoid the wrong guy. Because my goal is to help you date strategically and with intention.
However, what happens when you start dating a great guy and are in a committed relationship? Now the question is not how to get him, but how to keep him interested long term, right?
And maybe you thought you would find a long laundry list of all the things you can DO to keep a man on this website. Well, you won’t. Because the truth is, men, don’t fall in love because of what you, they fall in love with how you make them feel.
So if you are wondering how to keep a man interested. Here are my tips.
You have to give him space
Now, this might sound counterintuitive because you want to keep him interested. And I know as a woman that means you want to control how much he interacts with you.
Because now that you are together, it is normal that you want to spend every minute together just hugging, kissing, and talking. A lot of talking.
However, the more you cling to him, the more you are pushing him away.
Men, want to be in a relationship where they don’t feel engulfed and instead feel free. That’s why the best thing you can do is give him the space he needs.
And while you do that you go and immerse yourself in your own life. Remember that, the more interesting things you have going on outside of him, the more interested he is going to be in your life.
He will feel like you positively enrich his life and don’t limit his life.
Yes, you heard me right. Lean back into your feminine energy. I can’t stress this enough. Doing is masculine energy. It’s you trying to control and manage the situation.
We all have done it before. We attempt to keep him interested, by calling him all the time, planning dates, and doing everything to make sure he does not forget about us.
That is the wrong approach because again you are trying to do. Instead, you have to get into your feminine energy mode, which is a receptive mode. I call it the lean back method.
Let him stir the relationship. This means you share with him what you want for the relationship and then allow him to live up to your expectations. I go into detail of how to do that in my book “From Situationship to Relationship”.
Allowing a man to lead with his masculine energy is what keeps him going. His desire to make you happy is his number 1 driver.
Unfortunately, a lot of women think men do not want to live up to their standards, which could not be further from the truth. That is all they want. When a guy is truly interested in you he will move heaven and earth to meet your standards.
All you need to do to keep him interested is to allow him to do so. So take your hands off the stirring wheel and you will notice him getting excited about being with you and showing you that he got what it takes to sweep you off your feet.
This is my all-time favorite tip for how to keep a man interested. Believe it or not, men love to connect on a deeper level.
Men, not f*boys. Because a real man gets excited about meeting a woman that just gets him. To him, she represents an opportunity to share who he truly is. He gets to take off the mask he has to put on for his homeboys and co-workers and just be himself.
When a man is with a woman that makes him feel understood and safe, he can open up and build true intimacy with her.
That’s why you have to master the art of vulnerability. Being your authentic self with him and sharing from a place of genuine honesty and vulnerability needs to become a habit every time you two interact.
That doesn’t mean that all your conversations need to be deep and heavy, but it means that you need to be able to express your feelings, good or bad.
And I know that many women that concept seems hard. But it’s not at all. It’s as simple as sharing your thoughts when he asks you “how was your day”. Instead of just saying it was good. You now have a chance to share a thought about a conversation you had or an event that happened that day. By doing that you open the floor for him to do the same.
And that is what will keep him interested. The awareness, that he can be himself around you.
Show him that you like him
The last point I never addressed before, because I thought it was obvious. However, as of late I have received a lot of questions about it and felt the need to address it.
Please do not play games with a man.
If you like him and have feelings for him let him know with your words and actions. Don’t try to play cool and appear cold, instead be real.
What does that look like? It means that you share your joy about his call when he rings your phone. Or that you admit that you missed him after a few days without a date.
Sharing your genuine joy and love for him does not just make him feel appreciated and valued, but also serve as positive reinforcement, which will lead to many more sweet moments like that. So get in the habit of saying “thank you”, “I miss you” and “I had a great time with you”.
Here you have it, girls. Four easy but effective ways to create a bond that lasts with your man.