Does God have someone for me, or am I going to be single forever?
It’s that time of the year again.
The winter holidays are over, it is still cold outside and all the stores are decorated in red and white. Valentine’s Day aka Single Awareness Day is upon us!
If you are anything like me, then Valentine’s Day is an unfriendly reminder of the fact that you have never been in a “real” enough relationship to be taken out on February 14th, ever.
And you may be asking yourself if your dating life is finally going to change this year. Will this year be the year you find your soul mate?
Or if you don’t care much for Valentine’s Day, then you may be asking yourself a much more important question.
Does God have a husband for me at all?
Isn’t that really what you are wondering? I mean how not? Early 30’s, successful, pretty, and with no debt, but here we are single with no future husband in sight.
At one point, even the most faithful single Christian woman starts wondering, “God, where is my husband?”.
And I know what it feels like because I was in that situation for a long time. That’s why I decided to share today what to do when you keep asking yourself, “Does God have someone for me?”
Does God have someone for me
1. God will give you the desire of your heart
I once met a woman at church that was in her late 40s, highly successful, extremely kind, and single.
She frequently spoke of her nieces and nephews she often cared for and about how important family was to her.
One day during our small group meeting, some fellow Christian singles and I dared to ask her the forbidden question. Have you ever desired to be married and have a family?
To our surprise, her answer was “no”.
She went on to explain that she realized very early on that marriage and having kids were nothing she desired for herself. God had blessed her with a full life, that she enjoyed far more as a single woman.
She did not desire to have romantic relationships and did not feel like she was missing anything.
However, what she said next I thought was so important.
She went on to explain that God gives us the desires of our hearts. And when he does, it’s because he can bring them to pass. Her simple explanation gave the rest of us single ladies a boost of inspiration and peace because we knew she was right.
God gave you your desire for marriage. If marriage was not available to you or it was not in his plan to give you someone then he could have blessed you with a desire to remain unmarried.
But he didn’t. So believe that he is capable and willing to meet your desire, but needs you to have unconditional love and trust in him first.
So, if you get discouraged in your wait, remember to “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4.
2. He will provide in his timing
Whenever we ask ourselves “Does God have someone for me?”, what we are really asking is “God, where is my man?”.
Because let’s be honest. Do you really doubt that in a pool of 3.5 billion men in the world, God cannot find one man that is compatible with you?
Of course, he can!
However, what we are really doubting is how fast he can bring this specific person. Right?
If that’s the case for you I want you to think of something. How often in life did you desire for something to happen that did not happen? And then later you find out that it was a blessing in disguise?
I remember vividly how crushed I was when I didn’t get my gap year job at Disneyland Paris back in 2009. However, thanks to that I was sent to work at Disney World Orlando instead.
And let me tell you that was way better and changed the course of my life.
Ever since then I knew that whenever something doesn’t work out, it’s not because God says no, but because God’s plan for my life includes something even better in his divine timing.
I’m saying all that to say that God still has someone for you even if that person hasn’t appeared yet.
And believe me when I tell you that it is much nicer to meet the right person at the right time God’s way. Until then, remember God’s word:
Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up. – Galatians 6:9
3. God has someone better for you
Last but not least, I truly believe that some of the relationships that fail, do so to make room for God to bring you someone better.
I can honestly say that I entered many relationships in the past despite knowing that they were not in my best interest. I saw all the red flags but chose to ignore them because of my desperation to be in an intimate relationship.
I either willingly settled for a situationship, because I thought it was the best I could do. Or because I was afraid it was my “last” shot at love. Looking back at it now makes me laugh and cry at the same time.
I mean I was merely in my 20’s!
Whenever I think of those failed relationships now I thank every guy that dumped me when I was desperately trying to hold on to him.
What a waste of time, peace, and tears.
Think of Ciara! The poor woman must have cried herself to sleep for weeks and months when she was pregnant with Future’s child. Because he publicly embarrassed her with his wandering eye.
But what may have seemed like the greatest breakup of her life, became an open door for God to bring her the perfect match. And next thing you know she is married to an amazing godly man such as Russel Wilson.
In the same way, I now understand that my failed relationships were God gently navigating me. From a hopeless relationship to a healthy, loving, and godly one.
I know that it is easy to get caught up on the “Woe is me train” where it seems like everything is going wrong. But rather than questioning God, the holy spirit, and Jesus daily if he has a husband for you.
Look at it from a new perspective. Are you making space for God to work in your life?
Are you open to the men he introduces you to? Is your heart free of resentment and hurt towards men and love? Would you be able to welcome a committed relationship if it fell into your lap tomorrow?
All these things play a role and maybe a reason why God was not able to deliver him yet. Even if He has someone for you.
Does God provide a spouse?
Yes, I truly believe that God provides us with a spouse when we are in alignment with his plan for our life. While the word of God doesn’t promise a spouse it’s the will of God for you to first seek his kingdom and watch your other desires be added to you.
As a believer, I know that God’s love doesn’t have favorites, so if he is able to provide a spouse to one, he also can provide a future spouse to you. You don’t have to be the perfect person or put in hard work to receive the person God has for you. But you have to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Why does God put someone into your life?
There are different reasons why God puts someone into your life, but it’s always to fulfill God’s purpose for your life. Sometimes it includes lost relationships, like the one I had with my last boyfriend. And sometimes it includes lifelong friendships that lead to a godly marriage.
Whenever God puts someone into your life, ask yourself if they bring you closer to your purpose or not. And then it won’t matter if the relationship lasted or not, because you know it is already serving its purpose.
