How god leads you to your spouse
One of the many questions I receive on this blog is: How do I know if he is the one God has for me? A question I always find hard to answer. Because I truly believe that there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all when it comes to God’s will.
If there was then the world would look a lot different.
However, just like I discuss in many of my other blog posts and videos before, I know that when God tells you something it comes in signs and wonders and knowing.
Sounds odd right?
But it’s true. God is more obvious than we often assume, and more present than we often realize.
So what does happened when God tells you who your husband is? How can you know that someone is indeed your husband? Well, that’s what I want to dive into today and answer in this post: How God leads you to your spouse in 5 clear steps.
But first, I need to voice kind of a disclaimer.
Will God lead you to your spouse?
One thing I have noticed is that a lot of times the “search” for a husband becomes an obsession to some women. So overwhelming that dreams, visions, and idolization are involved.
That’s when a lot of people will claim that “God told me who my husband is,” without ever confirming it with the other person.
Whenever that is the case I don’t think it is wise to read or watch content that further leads you down the rabbit hole. Including this blog post.
Not because this article isn’t insightful, and not because I believe you are wrong. But because you are making your desire an idol at this point.
The most important step you can take when preparing for marriage is to surrender your desire, step back, and let it unfold naturally. No matter at what stage.
So, I want you to ask yourself honestly why you googled this topic?
Is it because you are in a promising entanglement that you need more guidance on? Or is it because you are convinced that you have found the one, but for some reason, the relationship has not yet evolved to a point of certainty.
If you resonated most with the first thought, read on. If you resonated more with the latter exit this page and take some time to be still. Because one of the ways god confirms your husband is through peace.
Well, now that that is out of the way, let’s go back to the topic.
How God leads you to your spouse
1. You will see clear signs
I always love thinking of the story of Rebekah at the well. Unbeknownst to her, she exhibited the exact behavior that Eliezer, the servant of Abraham, had prayed for moments prior.
At the well, she demonstrated an attitude of service and kindness, which is what he asked to see to identify the right woman.
In today’s culture we so often doubt God’s ability to provide exactly what it is we need in a mate. We are so afraid of being too specific and demanding, thus “missing our blessing” that we abandon our requirements altogether and settle for what we can get.
But that’s not the way to go either.
Yes, you should avoid unrealistic expectations and evaluate your standards, but don’t get rid of them because you don’t believe God can meet them. Get rid of them because they are unnecessary and formed based on the wrong motives.
When God confirms your husband to you, you will recognize some of the godly characteristics you asked for in him. And that will make things clear and obvious.
2. It will feel right
There is no way on earth that Adam knew what he was talking about when he said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” (excerpt Gen. 2). I mean homeboy had been around for 6 days and definitely did not know what the inside of his body looked like.
Can’t fool me lol.
But I digress. Because at the end of the day he indeed did say it. Without knowing, he knew that Eve was his (soul)mate. He could feel that she was different from the animals that have been presented to him before.
And that’s what I truly believe happens when you meet the one. You will know! Maybe not on the first encounter, but there will be a moment when you can sense an overwhelming knowing that someone is for you.
The connection that the two of you share will just feel right and awaken your spirit to recognize his. It will feel like you were made out of the same cloth and being together is natural.
3. You won’t feel awkward
We all know the story of Ruth and how she was not afraid to hustle to save her own and her mother in laws life.
That’s why we see her doing something highly unusual in Ruth 3. She sleeps at the feet of Boaz, a relative of Ruth’s father in law.
If that isn’t courageous and borderline stalker-ish then I don’t know. But the crazy thing is, Boaz was not irritated but impressed by it. So much so that he went down to the town gate the next day to advocate for Naomi and take Ruth as a wife.
Ruth’s courageous but very awkward act ended up being what got her the outcome.
You will feel confident enough to speak your truth and feel safe enough to ask for what it is you need.
4. It will be life-giving
Now here is the thing. We can all agree that life without romantic love is worth living. However, we can also honestly say that having romantic love makes life just a little more enjoyable.
It’s no secret that when you are in love you suddenly dance, sing, smile, and skip from time to time. It’s because your brain is releasing a bunch of neurotransmitters that make you happier and feel great.
Being in love enhances your experience of life, it makes you feel more alive. Suddenly the days become more purposeful, your time more precious, and your thoughts more vivid.
Life starts to feel more fun!
That is what the book of Song of Songs is all about. It’s a massive poem or love song you can say between two lovers.
Throughout it, both the man and the woman speak about how their love for each other makes them rejoice and celebrate life.
And that’s what it feels like when God leads you to your spouse. Little mundane tasks and even challenges will matter less. You will find yourself in a constant state of excitement about love, but also life.
5. It will not feel rushed
Of course, I could not end this blog post without citing the original definition of love. 1 Corinthians 13, starts with the famous words “love is patient, love is kind”.
The most obvious signs that God will use when He confirms your husband, is that the love will feel patient and kind.
From the introduction to the most important steps in dating. Nothing will feel rushed and happen in god’s perfect timing.
You won’t feel the need to abandon your own needs, and instead feel supported and encouraged by the man to take your time.
Furthermore, patience will also serve as a sign that God is preparing you for marriage. Because you will feel at peace with where you are in life and not be stressed about your future husband’s whereabouts.
How do you know if God already sent your husband
As mentioned before, the biggest indicators for how God shows you your husband is peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding.
Which is something I can attest to in my own relationship.
The first time we were together we did not have peace. Our relationship had too many loose ends. Every little change or challenge would make me feel worried, anxious, and insecure.
Because both of us were not in a place where we could make the relationship a priority, we did not have peace. All that, however, changed when we got back together last year.
We were older, more aware of what we want for our lives and committed to make it work.
Now there is peace.
I don’t worry. I don’t stress. And I don’t allow my own insecurities and fears to sabotage the relationship, because I know my boyfriend loves me and is doing his best to make it work. Therefore I know that if it doesn’t work out, it was just not the right fit.
So, how does god confirm your husband? By giving you absolute certainty. And not just external but also internal.
Because you feel seen, heard, and loved completely. Which is why you don’t have any doubts.
I hope these 5 points helped you get an idea about how God leads you to your spouse. For more thoughts on this topic, check out the posts below.