10 Signs of a Needy Woman

There is nothing that turns a man off more than a needy woman. A woman that is emotionally so dependent on him that it takes a toll on the relationship.

This woman is oftentimes seen as anxious, jealous, clingy, and of course needy. 

She accepts and demonstrates behaviors that a confident and secure woman would never. And rather than being in control of her own emotions and feelings, she looks to others to meet her emotional needs. 

But why do some women become needy and what causes clinginess in a relationship? 

Signs of a needy woman

Needy Person Psychology

When we speak of a needy person, we are referring to someone that exhibits a number of character traits that require a high need for physical or emotional fulfillment from others. 

While everybody, men and women alike, experience a certain degree of neediness in relationships, a needy person requires excessive amounts of love, attention, and approval.

And no matter how much the partner works to satisfy her needs, it’s never enough.

As you might already suspect, neediness is often linked to low self-esteem, a lack of self-confidence, hurtful experiences from the past, and of course childhood.

In most cases, a history of rejection, hurt, and disapproval leads to an anxious attachment style that interferes with healthy thoughts and behaviors which ends up sabotaging romantic relationships.

In the search for love, attention, and approval a needy person starts clinging too tight to the relationship and suffocating the other person. 

And what makes it even more complicated, is that needy women oftentimes don’t realize they are being needy and desperate. 

That’s why in this post, I’m sharing with you 10 signs of a needy woman and the behaviors that turn men off.

10 signs of a needy person

1. Your self-worth is dependent on your relationship

The most common reason why you might be feeling needy in a relationship is that you need a man to validate your self-worth. 

When you are in a relationship, your self-confidence, happiness and overall sense of value increase. When you are not in one, you feel like you are not good enough. 

Your lack of confidence in your own worth makes you cling to your suitor because as long as you have his attention and pursuit you feel beautiful and good about yourself. 

This sign of being needy is often observed in very beautiful women, whose identity is built on the admiration of men. 

why am I so needy for affection

2. You give up your own life

Another sign of clingy behavior is when you adapt your whole life to meet a man’s needs. 

Meaning that you change your schedule and cancel plans to be available to him at all times because you want to be close to him and spend every waking hour together. 

And if he wants to be alone or meet with friends you get upset because you don’t have plans of your own. 

You relinquish your independence and give up your routine if it means that you have to spend time away from him. 

Contrary to your belief, this ‘gesture’ takes away your attraction and his desire to pursue you. 

Making him the center of your life gives him the impression that you are desperate for his presence and do not have a life of your own, which means you will be overbearing in the future.  

3. You tolerate disrespect

Probably number one on the list of female insecurities is a woman that stays with her man even if he treats her like dirt. 

A woman that is needy for affection will stay in an unhealthy relationship for way too long and not leave even when she should. 

The reason for that is that you discount his hurtful behavior and accept his every mood because you don’t believe you deserve better. 

You allow him to overstep your boundaries because you yearn for his approval. By giving away your power and allowing him to treat you like a doormat, you show him that you are desperate to be loved and don’t respect yourself enough to demand respect from him. 

4. You get anxious about him leaving

Unfortunately, the fear of abandonment is a very common and powerful fear that a lot of women deal with. 

The fear of losing him can have multiple effects on you and often leads to increased jealousy and compulsive behavior to compare yourself and compete with other women in his life such as female friends, co-workers, or his exes.

You might also get nervous if he doesn’t respond to texts or calls because you assume he has lost interest and is entertaining someone else.

You are afraid of him leaving all the time because subconsciously you doubt that you have it takes to make him stay.

signs of a needy person

5. You are controlling

Another sign of being needy is that you become controlling in a relationship. Once you are with a man your whole demeanor changes and suddenly you feel the need to control and organize every part of his life. 

You want to know “Where he is”, “What he does”, and “What he posts on social media” at all times. 

You require him to publicly announce your relationship in order for you to feel secure and force him into introducing you to all his family and friends. 

In addition, you try to change him in order to meet your needs. You interfere with his appearance, his hobbies, and interests, and try to ‘fix’ whatever flaws you think he has.  

Rather than appreciating him for who he is, you try to mold him into the perfect partner for you despite his resistance.

6. You constantly need reassurance

Another needy girlfriend sign is that you constantly need his reassurance and validation about his love for you. 

Every opportunity you get, you ask him if he finds you beautiful if he loves you and if he is happy in the relationship and if he does not answer in a certain way you get anxious.

You overthink his every word, step, and action and go as far as to analyze every past conversation because you can’t deal with the uncertainty.  

Your insecurities make you believe that you have to ensure that he loves you consistently to not lose grip on the relationship. So you act out of character and bend over backward to please him and receive assurance. 

7. You are fine with anyone 

A major sign of a desperate woman is a woman that is attracted to any man who shows interest in her. Your loneliness and neediness make you lose your standards and give in easily to any man that will have you.

Rather than vetting his values, character, and intentions, you get excited about the opportunity to be desired and pursued.

You are enchanted by his flattery, overlooking major red flags and getting emotionally invested before you even know the man.

Most men can smell that you are desperate for a relationship and will either be turned off or try to take advantage of you.

signs of clingy behavior

8. You parade him on your social media

Going “Instagram official” is the new way to declare your relationship status to people. By posting a casual but cute pic of you and bae you share the exciting news that you are a couple with friends and followers.

However, it becomes a problem when you feel the need to post about your relationship on social media because you are desperate to prove you’re in love. 

According to research people who promote their relationship on social media are often battling insecurities or having problems within their relationship.

Therefore, if you constantly document your every move together and showcase your love for one another, it might be a sign that you are not just needy for his attention but also insecure about the relationship. 

By seeking validation in the form of likes and comments you try to convince yourself and others that your relationship is fine. 

needy girlfriend signs

9. You chase after him

Number 9 is probably the most desperate of the signs of a needy woman. And that is that you chase a man after he has told you or shown you that he is not interested (anymore). 

This could be when you first start dating or after a break-up. If he is not actively pursuing you anymore it means that he is just not that into you and it’s time to fall back. 

Trying to chase him by being nice, being available, or even succumbing to his sexual needs will not win him back but make him lose interest in you. 

Because it screams that you doubt that you can find someone else and are willing to be with him even when he does not want to be with you. 

signs of being needy

10. You are too invested too soon

If you can relate to each of the above points and are now wondering “how to stop being needy?”, then my best advice is to just chill out. 

Women who are needy and desperate will oftentimes get overly invested in the new relationship too early on. 

You will start to give more than you get repeatedly in the hopes that he will appreciate the effort. Or you will go out of your own way to accommodate him when he has not yet earned this type of treatment. 

Your anxious belief that you need to prove your interest to him leads you to move too fast and invest all your time, energy, and attention into him.

But by trying so hard so soon, you make him feel like you are dependent on the relationship for fulfillment and become a burden to him. 

Now you know the 10 signs of a needy woman, but how do you stop being a needy girlfriend?

Signs of a Needy Woman

2 Comments on 10 Signs of a Needy Woman

  1. You hit the nail on the head because this is me straight up. I need to know hoe to stop this behavior. My husband of 27 years died suddenly almost two years ago and I met this man my children don’t like him and I know deep in my heart eI would be better off without him, we break up often and he goes to his mom but he calls me to come back and I let him even when I tell myself I’m gonna be done this time. It’s a viscous cycle I cannot break.

    • Ms.Retha Burns, thanks for posting this. You acknowledge what is hurtful in your life, and that it should be different. I am glad that you brought out the fact that you had been married for 27 years (if I have the correct understanding), meaning you are an older woman, and the struggle you have is one women of all ages have. It can be difficult for older women to acknowledge such a thing to be true in their life, because of getting set in their ways, from age and from habits. But God can change our habits, our feelings, our preferences, our desires, what we are accustomed to, and help make us satisfied with Him, comfortable with trusting Him, and strengthen our hearts. He can lead us to wisdom and good advice. Even if we feel like we are not ready to trust Him, if we fully and whole-heartedly commit our mustard seed of faith to Him, He can change our doubt and uncertainty, and our no’s to new life in Him, the plan He has- our expected end (Jeremiah 29:11) and see the blessings He has in store for us in this life on earth and see ourselves through His eyes. His love is perfect. In Him is all we need, husband or no husband. God can do marvelous things in us. Hope this blesses you and someone else.

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