How to prepare for marriage in a godly way
I have a confession to make… I really hate the term “wifey material”!
To me, the term implies that only a select few women possess what it takes to be a wife. And I don’t agree with that.
I believe that every woman on the face of this earth innately has what it takes to be a wife and mother, but it’s up to you to fine-tune your instincts and turn them into practical skills.
The truth is that if you desire to get married one day, then you have to prepare for marriage while single. You need to adopt certain habits before you say I do so that you can seamlessly transition into married life.
That’s why I decided it is time to share with you some practical steps on how to prepare for marriage or how to become “wife material” if you will.
How to prepare for marriage while single
1. Become financially responsible
I’m going to be honest with you sis. If you want to get married, you need money. Not a lot of money, but a good amount.
Because as you begin your season of holy matrimony a lot of things will change and you start creating a new life for your husband and yourself.
The two of you might decide to buy a house, a new car, or even have a baby. These are all big expenses, especially a child, that you will share with your partner.
In order to prepare yourself for those financial burdens, you have to become financially responsible. Learn how to manage your money while you are single so that you are well prepared as a wife.
That includes creating a plan for how to pay back any debt, such as student loans or credit card debt. It also means that you have to learn how to save a portion of your monthly income and ideally create a 6-months emergency fund.
Acquiring healthy spending habits as a single woman with one income will allow you to better steward your new combined household income once married.
2. Become a homemaker/ caretaker
Now, I know that many of you women will look at this point sideways, but I want you to keep an open mind as you read on.
First, I want to assure you that I do not believe that women should stay home and take care of the kids. However, I do believe that women are most of the time the primary homemaker and caretakers.
Because these tasks usually come more naturally to us than to men and contribute to the masculine/ feminine polarity that attracts men and women to each other.
Now mind you, I used to date a chef years ago, and back then I did not touch a pot or pen ever. It was his passion, so he happily took over.
But I was nonetheless very excited about contributing to a beautiful candlelight dinner by decorating the room, planning desserts, and tidying up afterward.
In a regular relationship dynamic, having an eye for homemaking and a hand for caretaking subconsciously adds to men’s attraction for women.
Therefore, even if you do not know how to cook, you probably know how to put together a beautiful dinner using takeout. You go, girl!
Therefore, to prepare for marriage, learn the basics of how to take care of yourself, first and foremost.
That includes cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry for yourself! Because part of being an adult is having the life skills to maintain a household.
3. Become a good partner
I recently started reading The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm and one thing he says in the introduction stuck with me. People do not invest in learning how to love but only into things that can bring them money.
And I agree.
Despite the fact, that most of us have not been taught how to date or how to love, we all assume that when the right one appears we will suddenly be able to love him correctly.
Well, newsflash. 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. And all of them thought they knew how to love their significant other.
That’s why the most important step you can take to prepare for marriage is to become a good partner.
Study the art of loving by researching what it takes to be considered a good lover and friend to someone.
I mean how many of you have had friends in the past that sucked at being friends. Don’t make that mistake as a girlfriend.
If you know you tend to be needy in relationships, look into ways to overcome your clinginess. If you struggle with low self-esteem, make sure you develop coping mechanisms that will keep you from projecting your insecurities onto your partner.
And if you have subconsciously sabotaged a relationship in the past, then figure out what it is that is keeping you from attracting healthy love.
You don’t have to be in a relationship to work on these behaviors, but can start right now as a single woman.
Learn how to become your best self, by doing the work alone or joining a program such as my signature dating & relationship course “Become The One”, where I help women identify what is blocking them from attracting a great man and love.
4. Be able to get a job and make money
This point applies to every woman, even the one that wants to be a stay-at-home wife and mom once married.
Acquire a qualification, skill, or education that allows you to earn money.
Yes ma’am, even if you hope to marry a (rich) man that will take care of you and the kids, do not underestimate the importance of being self-sufficient.
Nowadays, everybody needs to have an education that allows you to work if needed. Because God only knows what can happen later on in your life, that will require you to get a job.
People get divorced (also in the church), die, or get sick and you may have to contribute to the household income.
Therefore, an important step to getting ready for marriage is to have a career or education that nobody can take away from you.
Of course, you can already work in it as a single woman while you wait for your future husband.
But even if you don’t, then create a plan that will get you there.
5. Identify and pursue your purpose
What are your goals for your life? What do you want to have achieved at the end of your life or do you want to be remembered for?
Imagine you are standing in front of God and he asks: “What have you done with the time I gave you on earth!”.
If you have no answer to this question yet, then now is a good time to start thinking about it and taking intentional steps towards it.
As a single woman, you have to create a life of purpose for yourself!
And I’m emphasizing this because I want to remind you that your purpose does not only start when you are married.
Build a career or pursue a calling that utilizes your God-given purpose.
And if you are worried now, that your job at the bank may not be your purpose, then I have good news for you. It doesn’t have to be.
Your purpose may be something that does not return a monetary value but is non-profit or voluntary.
Your purpose may also simply be a passion of yours that you work on after school or work. That is what happened to me and how this blog was born.
Out of my passion to share the word of God, while providing practical and actionable steps to others.
So, preparing for marriage God’s way means to truly connect to him and figure out what it is you are called to in every season of your life and using it to become your best self.