What makes a man fall in love


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Let’s be honest, dating would be so much easier if we didn’t have to deal with a whole other human being that doesn’t think or act like us women AT ALL. 

At times it seems like men are so confusing, that we keep asking ourselves “What qualities make a man fall in love?”. 

Lucky for me I read this fun and informative book years ago. It explained everything I needed to know about men and most importantly how men fall in love. Thanks to Matthew Hussey’s brilliant insights I was able to get better at dating and get the guy. 

While I don’t recommend for you to obsess over pleasing a man. I do understand why it’s such a burning question. 

Listen, everything is fair in love and war…

Of course, I could not let you hang so I did some research for you ladies and found out what makes a man fall in love and commit. 

what makes a man fall in love

What makes a man fall in love psychology

What makes a man fall deeply in love with a woman? Well, I think I figured it out even without a psychology degree. And that is that men need to experience these three elements with you. Attraction, familiarity, and intimacy. 

Regardless whether you agree or not, attraction plays a big role in romantic love. In order for a man to move from liking to loving you, he needs to be attracted to you. 

Notice how I didn’t say physically attracted. While that is part of it, it’s not the only form of attraction. When a man is in love with a woman he is usually attracted to her physically, emotionally, and mentally. 

The second element is familiarity. Believe it or not what makes a man love a woman is that she makes him comfortable. Something about you is familiar and therefore puts him at ease. 

Maybe it’s that you remind him of one of his caregivers or siblings, or maybe that you have similar interests as him. Something about you feels safe enough for him to develop feelings of love.

And the last reason why a man falls in love, is because of the intimate bond the two of you are creating. The act of sharing thoughts, fears, and feelings that are close to your hearts you build intimacy. 

Such vulnerability is what makes a man fall in love with a woman and encourage his desire to commit. 

These are the three elements you need but the question remains: What qualities make a man fall in love?

How guys fall in love

How to make a man fall in love with these 7 qualities

1. Joy

We all know the saying “a woman’s most beautiful curve is her smile”. And funny enough that’s true. If it wasn’t, none of these supermodels would be considered beautiful right. 

A smile is the physical evidence of joy. And if you are a joyful person, meaning someone who experiences the beauty of life and lets other people take part in it, then you possess one of the most attractive qualities in a woman. 

You have to understand that what makes a man fall in love with a woman is her ability to enrich his life. And one way you can do that is by adding happiness to it, by being your most joyful and authentic self

Because a man falls in love with the woman that can make the ordinary extraordinary and infuse fun into the mundane.

2. Positivity

In contrast to us, the nature of a man is to be future-focused and goal-oriented. That means that they spend a lot of time, planning, preparing and unfortunately worrying. 

The blessing of femininity, on the other hand, is a greater connection to the current and positivity. Therefore, as a woman, you have the power to make him forget about these worries and tune into the beauty of the now.  

Your positive attitude and faith encourage you to believe in love and the beauty of life. Because the belief that all things work together for good is the only thing that keeps you going when a situation seems dark and hopeless. That is a trait that a lot of men love in women because it gives them hope. 

Does that mean that every woman is more positive than every man? Absolutely not! But one thing a man thinks when he falls in love with you is the fact that he feels good around you and is inspired to be his best self.

So, what easier way to make someone fall in love with then by encouraging and uplifting him by being positive. 

how men fall in love

3. Passion and Purpose

I know the words passion and purpose are over-exposed, but they both actually play a big role when it comes to attractiveness. Because what makes a man fall in love with a woman is to see her come alive for a cause. 

Whether you are passionate about baking and love to make others happy by creating beautiful pastries and desserts. Or you love to teach your family and friends how to take care of their hair and by that help them feel more beautiful and empowered. 

Having a passion or purpose for something that serves others inspires a man. It gives him the assurance that you are a good person and cares for more than just yourself. 

It also allows him to see what drives you in life. Because by having a vision for your life and knowing where you want to be in a few years’ time you give him an idea of your goals and dreams and help him identify if these match his. 

4. Allow Him to Lead

Men are very simple creatures. One of the key ways to make a guy fall in love with you is if he feels like he is able to solve your problems and thus worthy of being loved by you. 

Why is that so important to him? Easy. Because a man’s sense of self is defined by his ability to achieve results. Meaning he feels good about himself when he is able to figure things out. If he is able to be the man.

So, a woman that can make him feel good about himself because she allows him to figure things out on his own becomes attractive to him. Because he feels needed and appreciated when he is around her. 

That does not mean that you have to play dumb or pretend to never know anything. What it means is that you have to learn to allow him to do his thing without you interfering all the time and being a know it all.  

5. Respect

I’m currently reading a book by Emerson Eggerichs, called “Love and Respect” and in it, the author says that women need love and men need respect. 

While I’m not going to go too deep into the research he does, I found that a few of the points he mentions why men have a great need to feel respected in their relationship are interesting. 

Like I briefly mentioned in the last point, a man wants to be perceived as competent, able and worthy of your love but also of your respect. 

And he will do his best to earn both, by showing you that he can lead, that he can provide and that he can solve your problems. 

Therefore, a woman who shows appreciation and respects the effort that a man puts into the relationship gives him reassurance that he is with the right woman because she confirms that he is able to care for her. 

Because truth be told the pressure men feel to provide a comfortable living for their future family is real. And there is nothing more discouraging for them then feeling like they are a failure at it. 

That’s why a man will fall in love with a woman that feels like she is on his team and therefore someone he wants to keep around. 

6. Vulnerability

If there is one thing all my male friends and the men I have interviewed for my YouTube channel agree on it’s that seek to be in a relationship that is peaceful.

No nagging. No arguing. No drama! 

Men fall in love with women who make them feel good and accept them for who they are. Therefore, an important rule is to choose a man that you can accept the way he is without feeling the need to change him.

Whenever that is the case, it will be easy to keep the peace in the relationship. And men appreciate that sense of comfort and authenticity that they often only enjoy int he company of their friends. 

If being with you makes him feel at ease and brings peace into his life, he will continue to seek your company and thus fall in love and commit. 

what makes a man fall in love and commit

7. Vulnerability

Unfortunately, in society men are often expected to be emotionally controlled and never really taught how to express their feelings. Therefore, they learn much later, if ever, how to be vulnerable.

And oftentimes that principle is introduced to them by a woman. 

A woman that is vulnerable and not afraid to share her authentic self with a man allows him to do the same and share his pain, his fears, and his truth. She offers him a safe haven for his emotions to land without judgment. 

By creating this newfound freedom of being himself around you, you help him to open up more and therefore spark feelings of love and familiarity. You become very hard to replace because you now become home to him – the place where he can feel safe enough to be himself. 

The one thing that happens to a man when he falls in love, is that the woman of his choosing becomes special to him and stands out from the crowd because she is able to relate to him like no one else.

How do you tell if a man is falling in love with you?

How do you tell if a man is falling in love with you?

Now this is the million dollar question right? Because you wouldn’t be wondering what makes a man fall in love if you weren’t looking for a way to experience it. 

When a man falls in love with a woman it becomes very obvious. And here are only a few of the signs a man is falling in love with you:

  • He will start to seek your presence more often. Which means he will call and text and spend more time with you. 
  • He will be more concerned about your safety and well-being. Meaning he will want to pick you up or accompany you places.
  • He will make you part of his life. That might look like him inviting you to his parent’s house or his best friend’s wedding. 
  • He will put effort into the relationship. That often becomes obvious when you have an argument or disagreement. If he is willing to forgive or compromise, chances are he likes you… a lot.
  • He is completely himself around you. Truth is, men don’t want women to see them in a vulnerable state. So he will only open up to someone that is special to him.

In conclusion, what makes men fall in love is that you make him feel alive. Each one of these 7 traits mentioned above does that in its own right, by either giving him a new sense of excitement, helping him feel and express his emotions or infuse joy into the mundane moments of life. 

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3 Comments on What Makes a Man Fall in Love

  1. I so agree with this. I learnt this late in life but now I’m happy to say I have the best relationship with The greatest guy.

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