what makes a man fall in love
Let’s be honest, dating would be so much easier if we didn’t have to deal with a whole other human being that doesn’t think or act like us women AT ALL.
Men are so confusing, that we keep asking ourselves “What makes a man fall in love?”. And figuring that out is no easy task, I mean I have a whole blog about it.
Luckily, this fun and informative book is a good starting point.
It explained everything I needed to know about how men fall in love and why they commit to a long-term relationship. Thanks to Matthew Hussey’s brilliant insights I got better at dating and getting men to commit.
While I don’t recommend that you obsess over pleasing a man. I do understand why it’s such a burning question. After all, having a healthy relationship is one of the most important things to many of us.
That is why in this post, I share what makes a man fall in love.
Secret psychology to what makes a man fall in love
The secret psychology behind what makes a man fall in love is that men need to experience these three elements with you: Attraction, familiarity, and intimacy.
Regardless of whether you agree or not, initial attraction plays a big role in your love life. In order for a romantic partner to move from liking to loving you, he needs to be attracted to you.
Notice how I didn’t say physically attracted.
While that is part of it, it’s not the only form of attraction. When a man is in love with a woman he is usually attracted to her physically, emotionally, and mentally.
The second element is familiarity.
Believe it or not, what makes a man fall in love with a woman is that she makes him feel comfortable. Something about you is familiar and therefore allows him to open up to you on a deeper level.
Maybe it’s that your personality traits remind him of one of his caregivers or siblings. Or maybe you have similar interests and values as him. Something about you feels safe enough for him to develop feelings of love.
And the last reason why a man falls in love is because of a deep emotional connection.
Whenever you show up as your true self, you build a deep connection with each other. You share your fears and dreams which is the key to a man’s heart.
Such open communication is what triggers romantic love.
These are the three elements you need but the question remains: How do you apply them to your own life and dating journey?
What qualities make a man fall in love?
1. Joy
We all know the saying “a woman’s most beautiful curve is her smile”. And funny enough that’s true. If it wasn’t, none of these supermodels would be considered beautiful right?
A smile is the physical evidence of joy. And if you are a joyful person, meaning someone who experiences the beauty of life and lets other people take part in it, then you possess one of the most attractive qualities in a potential partner.
You have to understand that what makes a man love a woman is her ability to enrich his life. And one way you can do that is by adding happiness to it, by being your most joyful and authentic self.
Because a man falls in love with a happy woman that can make the ordinary extraordinary and infuse fun into the mundane.
2. Positivity
In contrast to us, the nature of a man is to be future-focused and goal-oriented. That means that they spend a lot of time, planning, preparing, and unfortunately worrying.
The blessing of femininity, on the other hand, is a greater connection to the current and positivity. Therefore, as a woman, you have the power to make him forget about these worries and tune into the beauty of the now.
Your positive attitude and faith encourage you to believe in true love and the beauty of life.
At the end of the day, the belief that all things work together for good is the only thing that keeps human beings going when a situation seems dark and hopeless. That is a trait that a lot of men love in women because it gives them hope.
Does that mean that every woman is more positive than every man? Absolutely not!
But one thing a man thinks when he falls in love with you is the fact that he feels good around you and is inspired to be the best version of himself.
So, the most important thing you can do to make a man feel in love is to encourage and uplift him by being positive.
3. Passion and purpose
I know the words passion and purpose are stereotypical, but they both actually play a big role when it comes to attractiveness.
Because a great way men fall in love with a woman is to see her come alive for a cause.
Whether you are passionate about baking and love to make others happy by creating beautiful pastries and desserts. Or you love to teach your family and friends how to take care of their hair and by that help them feel more beautiful and empowered.
Having a passion or purpose for something that serves others inspires a man. It gives him the assurance that you are a good person that cares for more than just yourself.
It also allows him to see what drives you in real life.
Because by having a vision for your life and knowing where you want to be in a few years’ time you give him an idea of your goals and dreams and help him identify if these match his.
4. Allow him to lead
Men are very simple creatures. One of the key ways to make a guy fall in love with you is if he feels like he is able to solve your problems and thus worthy of being loved by you.
Why is that so important to him? Easy!
Because men have a real-life hero instinct and their sense of self is defined by their ability to achieve results. Meaning he feels good about himself when he is able to figure things out and solve your problems.
So, a woman that can make him feel good about himself becomes attractive to him. Because he feels needed and appreciated when he is around her.
That does not mean that you have to play dumb or pretend to never know anything. What it means is that you have to learn to allow him to do his thing without you interfering all the time and being a know it all.
5. Respect
I’m currently reading a book by Emerson Eggerichs, called “Love and Respect” and in it, the author says that women need love and men need respect.
While I’m not going to go too deep into the research he does, I found that a few of the points he mentions about why men have a great need to feel respected in their relationships are interesting.
As I mentioned, a man wants to be perceived as competent, able, and worthy of your love but also of your respect.
And he will do his best to earn both! He will show you that he can lead, that he can provide, and that he can solve your problems.
Therefore, a woman who shows appreciation and respects the effort that a man puts into the relationship gives him reassurance. She confirms that he is able to care for her and therefore he perceives her as the right woman for him.
Because truth be told the pressure men feel to provide a comfortable living for their future families is real. And there is nothing more discouraging for them than feeling like they are a failure at it.
6. Emotional intimacy
If there is one thing all my male friends agree on it’s that they seek to be in a relationship that is peaceful.
A relationship in which a man can be vulnerable and trust you with his challenges and his desires.
A lot of women underestimate how important emotional support is to men. They fall in love with women who make them feel good and accept them for who they are.
Whenever that is the case, they can build emotional intimacy and focus on building a good relationship.
If being with you makes him feel at ease and brings peace into his life, he will continue to seek your company and thus fall in love and commit.
7. Vulnerability
Unfortunately, in society men are often expected to be emotionally controlled and never really taught how to express their feelings. Therefore, they learn much later, if ever, how to be vulnerable.
And oftentimes that principle is introduced to them by a woman.
A woman that is vulnerable and not afraid to share her authentic self with a man allows him to do the same and share his pain, his fears, and his truth. She offers him a safe haven for his emotions to land without judgment.
By creating this newfound freedom of being himself around you, you help him to open up more and therefore spark feelings of love and familiarity. You become very hard to replace because you now become home to him – the place where he can feel safe enough to be himself.
The one thing that happens to a man when he falls in love, is that the woman of his choosing becomes special to him and stands out from the crowd because she is able to relate to him like no one else.
How do you tell if a man is falling in love with you?
Now, this is the million-dollar question, right? Because you wouldn’t be wondering what makes a man fall in love if you were already experiencing it.
When a man falls in love with a woman it becomes very obvious. And here are only a few of the signs a man is falling in love with you:
- He will start to seek your presence more often, which means he will call and text and spend more time with you.
- He will be concerned about your safety and well-being. Meaning he will want to protect you physically and mentally.
- He will make you part of his life. That might look like him inviting you to his parent’s house or his best friend’s wedding.
- He will put effort into the relationship. Meaning he will compromise if needed and find ways to improve the relationship.
- He is completely himself around you. Truth is, men don’t want women to see them in a vulnerable state. So he will only open up to someone that is special to him.
In conclusion, what makes a man fall in love is that you make him feel alive. Each one of the 7 traits mentioned above does that in its own right, by either giving him a new sense of excitement, helping him feel and express his emotions or infusing joy into the mundane moments of life.
