Tips for dating someone new
I don’t even know where to start. It has been a while since I was in this situation and able to write about it on my blog.
I mean first dates and stuff.
After taking a 1-year break since the end of my last relationship, I’m finally back in the dating world looking to meet Mr. Right.
However, this time it feels different.
I’ve learned so much from my past relationship, that I’m much more self-aware and vigilant. From the way, I swipe on dating apps, to the things I look for in a potential partner.
Yesterday’s Justine is not today’s Justine!
So, I figured I’d share my new and evolved tips for dating someone new.
7 Tips For Dating Someone New
1) Get clear on what you want
Tip number 1 is a heavy hitter and pretty much the most important tip when it comes to starting a new relationship with a man. Before you even download a single dating site, you have to get clear on what you want.
Ask yourself what you are looking for. A casual relationship, a serious relationship, or even a life partner?
I love how Hinge now actually implemented that on people’s profiles.
Because it challenges you to think things through and makes vetting much easier. The better you know what it is you’re looking to get out of dating, the easier it will be to identify the right guy for you without wasting much time.
2) Make sure you are healed
The second tip for dating someone new is to make sure you don’t bring emotional baggage from a previous relationship to the dating field.
We all know rebounds are real. But they can be avoided if you do the necessary work. In my case, working with a therapist was the best decision for me.
However, there are many different ways to take care of your mental health and rebuild your self-worth and confidence if you experience pain in a previous relationship.
And my personal top tip is to break your soul tie to your ex in order to finally move on.
3) Stay in the present
Now I’m not even going to lie. This is something I struggle with whenever I meet a new love interest. Staying in the present and not future casting is so important!
A lot of us tend to fantasize about the future with a guy we just met, which makes us miss the red flags.
According to relationship experts, a good way to avoid getting caught up in the fairytale is to take things slow and be mindful.
Instead of going on auto-pilot, check in with yourself in the early days.
How does he make you feel? Are his intentions for the relationship in alignment with mine? By doing that you’ll discern better even if those butterflies are clouding your judgment.
4) Trust your intuition
Number 4 goes hand in hand with the last point.
When you trust your intuition, your dating life starts to flow so much better. By paying attention to his body language on dates and his actions rather than his words. You activate your intuition.
It will pick up on his behaviors and identify a potential warning sign. And once it does, don’t dismiss it but challenge yourself to look past the honeymoon phase.
In my opinion, you should know within the first three dates whether or not it’s a good fit.
That’s usually enough time to get to know a potential date and find out if you have common interests, and can develop a love connection.
5) Be open to love
One of my top tips for dating someone new is to commit to being open to love, regardless of what it looks like.
A lot of people start dating but are closed off to true love. Some people will use unrealistic expectations as a protection mechanism or avoid vulnerability because they don’t know how to trust.
Finding love means getting out of your comfort zone so you can build a strong bond that will lead to a long-term commitment.
So, if you have been wondering why your previous relationships didn’t make it to the next level then this may be one reason.
6) Keep an abundant mindset
One thing I’m very familiar with is relationship anxiety when dating someone new. That constant fear that your new partner will turn out to be the wrong one and you are once again thrown into the dreadful dating pool.
That right there is what I call a scarcity mindset.
When you think that your dating pool is somewhat restricted and there are not enough good men out there so you hold on to every decent guy you meet.
Yea, don’t do that.
Because I have good news for you. There are 4 billion men on this earth and you have only met a fraction of them. So no reason to act needy or feel desperate.
Instead here is how to relax in a new relationship. Remind yourself that there are many great guys out there and that your past experiences don’t have to influence your future.
Take advantage of the many online dating services out there and enjoy meeting different people, knowing that eventually, you’ll meet your dream long-term partner who will become your future spouse.
7) Don’t be afraid to speak your mind
Last but certainly not least in the early stages of dating a guy, you must have honest conversations. If you want a real relationship with the new guy, guess what you have to be real!
No biting your tongue or scaring away from being authentically you.
I know rejection is scary, but the earlier you put all the cards on the table and show your new date who you are, how you feel, and what you need, the earlier you will find out if you are even compatible.
And the best way to do so is by intentionally bringing up important or tough topics. I usually have a running list of questions to ask a potential date.
Sounds crazy. I know, but you will be surprised by how much you find out and how it allows you to connect to each other on a deeper level.
Being vulnerable with a man is key to building a good relationship.
What should you not do in a new relationship?
Now that I shared all my tips for dating someone new, I figured it only makes sense to reiterate some of the dont’s.
One of the most important things you should not do in a new relationship is to get attached to a guy too quickly.
You see when you meet a new person, you want to stay objective for as long as possible. That way you can continue to make smart decisions without being clouded by your emotions.
Invest emotionally based on his investment and commitment to you.
Don’t make your joy and well-being dependent on him. but continue to pour into yourself. A great way to do that is by continuing to meet new people, spending time with friends, and pursuing your hobbies.
That way, whether this new relationship lasts a long time or not, you know you will be fine.
How do you relax when dating someone new?
The best way to relax when dating someone new is by developing an abundant mindset.
I know I mentioned it above, but it’s my number-one tip for any single person. Nothing introduces more anxiety into your love life than a scarcity mindset.
However, if you remind yourself of the many options you have, then you will be able to enjoy the process, even when things don’t go your way.
Instead of freaking out that he is your only shot at love, you will know that there are many great guys and even soulmates out there.
One way I do that is by visualizing my dream relationship as part of my manifestation practice. Every morning, I think of how I will feel when I’m married to “The One”. And at the end of the visualization, I say “It is this or something even better!”.
That reminds me that when one door closes another one opens.