Tips for dating someone new

I don’t even know where to start because it has been so long since I was in this situation. I mean first dates and stuff. 

After taking a 1-year break since the end of my last relationship, I’m finally back in the dating world looking to meet Mr. Right. 

However, this time it feels different. I’ve learned so much from my past relationship, that I’m much more self-aware and vigilant. From the way, I swipe on dating apps, to the things I look for in a potential partner.  

Yesterday’s Justine is not today’s Justine!

So, I figured I’d share my new and evolved tips for dating someone new. 

Tips for dating someone new

1) Get clear on what you want

Tip number 1 is a heavy hitter and pretty much the most important tip when it comes to starting a new relationship with a man. Before you even download a single dating site, you have to get clear on what you want. 

Ask yourself what you are looking for. A casual relationship, a serious relationship, or even a life partner? 

I love how Hinge now actually implemented that on people’s profiles. Because it challenges you to think things through and makes vetting much easier. The better you know what it is you’re looking to get out of dating, the easier it will be to identify the right person without wasting much time. 

2) Make sure you are healed 

The second tip for dating someone new is to make sure you don’t bring emotional baggage from a previous relationship to the dating field. 

We all know rebounds are real. But they can be avoided if you do the necessary work. In my case, working with a therapist was the best decision for me. 

However, there are many different ways to take care of your mental health and rebuild your self-worth and confidence if you experience pain in a previous relationship.

And my personal top tip is to break your soul tie to your ex in order to finally move on.

how to relax in a new relationship

3) Stay in the present

Now I’m not even going to lie. This is something I struggle with whenever I meet a new love interest. Staying in the present and not future casting is so important! 

A lot of us tend to fantasize about the future with a guy we just met, which makes us miss the red flags. 

According to relationship experts, a good way to avoid getting caught up in the fairytale is to take things slow and be mindful. 

Instead of going on auto-pilot, check in with yourself in the early days. How does he make you feel? Are his intentions for the relationship in alignment with yours? By doing that you’ll discern better even if those butterflies are clouding your judgment. 

4) Trust your intuition

Number 4 goes hand in hand with the last point. When you trust your intuition, your dating life starts to flow so much better, trust me. By paying attention to his body language on dates or paying attention to his words and actions. 

Your intuition will pick up on his behaviors and identify a potential warning sign. And once it does, don’t dismiss it but challenge yourself to look past the honeymoon phase. In my opinion, you should know within the first three dates whether or not it’s a good fit. 

That’s usually enough time to get to know a potential date and find out if you have common interests, and or can develop a love connection. 

5) Be open to love 

One of my top tips for dating someone new is to commit to being open to love, regardless of what it looks like. A lot of people start dating but are closed off to true love. Some people will use unrealistic expectations as a protection mechanism or avoid vulnerability because they don’t know how to trust. 

Finding love means getting out of your comfort zone so you can build a strong bond that will lead to a long-term commitment. 

So, if you have been wondering why your previous relationship didn’t make it to the next level then this may be one reason. 

6) Keep an abundant mindset

One thing I’m very familiar with is the anxiety when dating someone new. That constant fear that your new partner will turn out to be the wrong one and you are once again thrown into the dreadful dating pool.

That right there is what I call a scarcity mindset. 

When you think that your dating pool is somewhat restricted and there are not enough good men out there so you hold on to every decent guy you meet.

Yea, don’t do that. 

Because I have good news for you. There are 4 billion men on this earth and you have only met a fraction of them. So no need to feel desperate. 

Instead here is how to relax in a new relationship. Remind yourself that there are many great guys out there and that your past experiences don’t have to influence your future. 

So, take advantage of the many online dating services out there and enjoy meeting different people, knowing that eventually, you’ll meet your dream long-term partner. 

starting a new relationship with a man

7) Don’t be afraid to speak your mind

Last but certainly not least in the early stages of dating a guy you must have honest conversations. If you want a real relationship with the new guy, guess what you have to be real! 

No biting your tongue or scaring away from being authentically you. 

I know rejection is scary, but the earlier you put all the cards on the table and show your new date who you are, how you feel, and what you need, the earlier you will find out if you are even compatible. 

And the best way to do so is by intentionally bringing up important or tough topics. I usually have a running list of questions to ask a potential date. 

Sounds crazy. I know, but you will be surprised how much you find out and how it allows you to connect to each other on a deeper level.

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