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Here is what to do when a man goes silent

When a man goes silent

If you are currently dating someone who has suddenly become distant and unresponsive, you might be feeling confused and anxious.

Many women, myself included, have been in your shoes.

When a man doesn’t call or text as much anymore or goes silent altogether.

In this post, I share what it means when a man goes silent.

beautiful woman looking at her phone suspiciously

What it means when a man goes silent

When a man goes silent, it can mean one of the following things:

  • He’s dealing with personal issues: Sometimes a guy might go silent because he’s dealing with personal problems or going through a tough time. It might have nothing to do with you but is simply a reflection of what’s going on in his own life.
  • He’s not sure what he wants: Some guys stop communicating if they’re unsure of what they want from the relationship. He might be feeling overwhelmed or conflicted and needs some space to figure things out. While seeking clarity is a good thing, ignoring or even ghosting you is not. So tread carefully, whenever a man is confused about you
  • He’s playing games: Unfortunately, some guys go silent as a way to play games or manipulate the situation. He might be trying to make you chase after him or trying to create a sense of mystery and intrigue.
  • He’s not that into you: While it’s not what you want to hear, guys often go silent or ghost you because they are just not that into you. While it sucks, because you might like him, it’s good in the long run. Because now you can focus on someone that is right for you.
  • He’s met someone else: Finally, a guy might stop communicating if he’s met someone else. He might have started dating someone new and decided to focus his attention on her instead. And because you are not in a relationship, he did not disclose that information. 

While the above points may be good reasons for him, they still don’t excuse a lack of communication. 

It’s important to remember that this pattern of behavior, justified or not hints at a man with poor communication styles.

And if you really desire to be in a healthy relationship, then you have to choose someone that doesn’t just like you, but is also reliable. 

couple in their pyjamas hugging and looking thoughtful

How do you deal with a man who goes silent?

When a man goes silent, the best way to deal with it is to take the high road and stay calm.

However, that’s easier said than done. So, to help you master it, here are some steps you can follow when a man goes silent:

1. Take a step back and give him some space 

If a man suddenly goes silent, it’s natural to want to reach out and try to figure out what’s going on.

However, bombarding him with messages or calls could actually make the situation worse. You don’t want to come across as too needy.

Instead, take a deep breath and give him some time and space to process his own feelings and show you what role you play in his life. 

2. Try to stay calm

It’s natural to feel anxious or upset when a man goes silent, but try to stay calm and avoid overthinking the situation.

Don’t jump to conclusions about what might be going on. It’s easy to assume, but there could be a number of reasons why he’s not responding that might have nothing to do with you.

So, try not to make assumptions until you have more information.

3. Focus on yourself

While it’s natural to want to fix the situation and figure out a solution, it’s important to take care of yourself during this time.

Engage in self-care activities that support your mental health.

So spend quality time with your friends and family, and pursue hobbies and interests that make you happy.

young woman sitting on a table staring into the distance

4. Have an honest conversation 

If the man you are talking to continues to be silent and you’re still unsure of what’s going on, it’s time to have an honest conversation with him.

Be calm and clear in your communication, and express how his silence is making you feel.

Ask him to share what’s going on with him and see if there’s anything you can do to support him.

5. Don’t wait around indefinitely

While it’s important to give him some space and time, you also don’t want to wait around indefinitely for him to reach out.

A lot of men don’t know what they want while dating, so you don’t want to waste your time waiting for him to figure it out.

If you feel like you’ve given him enough time and you’re still not hearing from him, it might be time to move on and focus your attention elsewhere.

attractive biracial man sitting on the bed annoyed while woman in the back is angry

6. Trust your intuition 

When a man goes silent, you need to trust your intuition when it comes to the situation.

If you’re not getting the answers you need, or if the emotional distance persists, it might be time to reassess whether he is the right guy for you.

Remember that you deserve someone who is open, honest, and has effective communication skills. Especially if you desire a fulfilling romantic relationship.

So, don’t settle for less.

young woman laying in bed awake

7. Re-build your self-esteem

Lastly, it’s important to pick yourself up and rebuild your self-esteem after receiving the cold shoulder from a man.

I know how bad the silent treatment hurts and how common it is to play the blame game after, thinking it was your fault.

However, regardless of the possible reason for his behavior, remind yourself that you are worthy and deserve to be treated with respect. 

What to text a man when he goes silent

If a guy you’re dating suddenly goes silent, it’s natural to want to reach out and check in on him.

However, it’s important to approach the situation carefully and avoid coming across as clingy, needy, or even aggressive.

Instead, you want to be honest and kind, while communicating firmly.

Here are a few tips on what to text him when he goes silent:

  • Keep it simple: Avoid sending a long, emotional message that might overwhelm him. Instead, keep your message short and to the point.
  • Be firm and friendly: Try to keep things casual and friendly but firm, rather than coming across as too intense or pissed. 
  • Avoid blaming or accusing: It’s important to avoid placing blame or accusing him of anything. Instead, approach the situation with an open mind and a willingness to learn about what’s going on.
  • Offer support: Let him know that you’re there for him if he is going through a tough time. 
  • Give him space: If he doesn’t respond right away, it’s important to give him space and avoid bombarding him with messages. If he values you enough, he will reply, and if he doesn’t reply, then you just learned that he doesn’t value you enough.

Example: Hey, just checking in. I have not heard from you lately and wanted to make sure everything’s okay.

When a man goes silent, the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with him.

Don’t shy away from speaking your truth, while being open to finding out what’s going on in his life. 

beautiful young woman sitting on the bed thinking while holding her phone

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