Why do guys string you along
Is he stringing me along or taking it slow? A fear so many women have shared with me in the last few years.
Maybe you have been dating the same guy for a long time and while he says he loves you, you can’t shake the feeling that he is not all in. And that for good reason.
Became whenever you ask him about the future, he shares that he is not sure about the relationship or does not feel ready for the next level yet. Two very common red flags that many women like to ignore.
Unfortunately, ignoring those usually leads to regret later when you realize that he has been stringing you along.
What does it mean when a guy is stringing you along?
According to the Urban Dictionary, stringing you along means: “The act of dragging out a relationship with someone while having dishonest intentions.”
Meaning the guy you are dating is giving you false hopes and making you believe that he sees a future with you in order to keep you hooked. While there are definitely men that do it on purpose, there are also men who don’t.
Why do guys string you along?
While it is easy to think that most guys strong someone along for selfish reasons, it’s not always the case. Especially, if you are in a committed relationship and love each other.
1) He is scared of hurting you
Believe it or not many guys don’t like breaking up with women because they are scared of hurting you. In his head, making a woman cry is bad, so he wants to avoid it at all costs.
And it’s a very common reason why a guy will string you along. Especially, a man that is not sure or ready. This man does not want to hurt your feelings and risk losing you for good by breaking up.
So, instead of being straightforward and admitting that he does not want to be in the relationship anymore, he continues to string you along.
While he might have good intentions, it is still wrong because he is not being honest with you.
2) He doesn’t want to be alone
The next reason why guys string you along is because he doesn’t want to be alone. Let’s face it, being in an exclusive relationship with a woman has its benefits.
He receives love, companionship, and physical intimacy on a silver platter consistently. That beats being single and having to deal with the dating scene any day.
Which is why he strings you along while he continues looking for someone new. Obviously, this guy is a bad guy that does not have your best interest at heart. He is selfish and does not really love you. Because if he would, he would not use you as a seat filler.
3) He is toxic
Not as valid and understandable as the first two reasons, is number three. Some guys will string you along because they are toxic. A man that is toxic, narcissistic, or a player will a lot of times date multiple women at the same time with no interest to make things official anytime soon.
But instead of disclosing this information and letting you know he only wants a casual relationship he will make you believe you are dating exclusively to keep you from dating other men.
He will also play mind games and sell you a fantasy that one day if you act right, he will commit to a serious relationship.
How to stop being strung along by a guy
No matter which of the three types of guys above you are dating, it is important that you learn how to stop being strung along.
Admit that he is wasting your time
The first step to take back control of the relationship and your life is that you have to admit that he is indeed stringing you along.
Your gut feeling has probably been telling you for a while that you need to stop wasting time, but the hopeless romantic inside of you, still believes you can change or convince him.
Bad news. Staying never helps.
Have a grown conversation
The main reason why stringing you along sucks is that it is a sneaky way of getting his needs met but not yours.
So, if your hope is to get to the next level with your relationship, then you have to demand it. Have a grown conversation with him in which you find out what his intentions are for the relationship.
Pay good attention to his answer and even better attention to his actions. If you feel like he is deceiving you, trust your gut and start making plans to end the relationship.
Give yourself an ultimatum
Once you decided that the situation is not worth it, give yourself an ultimatum on to when you have to end things if he continues to string you along.
Beach chances are high that there are feelings involved and you need some time to process it. However, you don’t want to fall back into old behaviors and chicken out.
By setting an ultimatum, you give yourself enough time to end the relationship if needed and move on.