When to stop waiting for him to propose
If I had a dollar for every time someone asks me, how long is too long to wait for a man, then I’d be rich. The number of women I meet that have been waiting in vain for a marriage proposal, is quite frankly very sad.
And I’m not saying that to be mean, but because it really makes me sad.
I know firsthand what it’s like not knowing if your relationship is going to result in marriage or not. And how heartbreaking it can be to feel like you wasted your time.
And if I hadn’t gone through a painful breakup in the past, I might make the same mistake in my current long-term relationship too.
But I’m not, and I figured the best way to help you is to share when to stop waiting for a man to propose.
How long does the average man wait to propose?
Before we get into what not to do, we should talk about what is okay to do. According to a study by The Knot in 2019 of over 25,000 newlywed couples across the US, the average length of time between when a couple starts dating to when they get engaged is approximately 2 years.
Meaning that the average man waits to propose for around 2 years. That is a good time frame because it allows you both to discuss future plans and figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life together.
Of course, this timeline varies depending on different factors, such as age, life goals, and cultural/ personal preferences.
In my experience, Christian couples that date with intention are much quicker to get married, than couples who are casually dating. And men who are in their 20s may want to date longer than men who are in their 30s.
So it’s safe to say that every relationship and couple is unique, which affects the decision to get engaged and married. But when is it time to stop waiting?
When to stop waiting for him to propose
Waiting for your boyfriend to propose can be exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. Because it’s not in your control.
And as every male podcast episode will tell you, men are the gatekeepers to marriage. Which sucks, if you feel like you are ready but he doesn’t.
Especially, if you are in your late 20s to mid-30s and desire to have kids. That alone is a valid reason why you may not want to wait for too long.
And if that’s you, then here are some deciding factors for when to stop waiting for him to propose.
1. You have been together for many years
As I mentioned above, 2 years is enough time for a man to decide if he would like to marry you or not. Especially, if the two of you are over 25.
Therefore one major sign that it is time to stop waiting for him to propose is if you have been together for many years, with no engagement in sight.
If it’s been 3, 5, 7, or more years, clearly something is wrong. Because if he hasn’t asked you to be his wife by now, chances are high that he doesn’t see you as his wife.
2. He always has a new excuse or “reason” why he is not ready
Sign number two is my personal favorite because I’ve witnessed it myself. It’s time to bounce if your man always has a new excuse or “reason” why he is not ready to get married.
At this point, I’m sure we’ve heard it all. From not feeling financially ready, to not feeling like he has achieved his goal, to not feeling ready to make a lifetime commitment.
While he may be right, the question remains what is he doing to get ready?
A man that wants to get married in the near future will take the necessary steps today to prepare. But a man who only offers excuses isn’t interested in changing the situation. This means it’s time to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Because if you don’t, he’ll end up stringing you along for years.
3. He avoids the topic
The next not-so-subtle hint that you need to stop waiting for a proposal is if he constantly avoids the topic of marriage.
I used to believe that talking about marriage was a no-go in the early dating stages. But like so many dating rules, it’s bullshit.
You absolutely should talk about your future goals with the person you are dating. Regardless of how long you have known him. But especially if it’s been between 6-12 months.
Because that’s when you can gauge how he feels about it and what his idea of marriage is. And the longer you have been together, the more concrete the conversation has to get.
And if he avoids it or gets angry whenever you bring it up, then it’s a huge red flag that you need to pay attention to. Especially after 2 years of dating.
4. He doesn’t believe in the concept of marriage
Another very popular Alpha male topic these days is the concept of marriage and the belief that it doesn’t serve men.
While I don’t want to argue about whether or not they are right. My point is that out of the billions of men in the world, stay away from a man that thinks like that.
If your partner does not believe in marriage and simply sees it as a piece of paper he despises, then it’s time for you to stop waiting for him to change his mind and propose.
All it will lead to is resentment while waiting for a proposal that will never come. Rather than trying to convince him to believe in marriage, it’s easier to look for someone who already does.
5. Time is Running Out
Last, but certainly not least. A very good reason to stop waiting for him to propose is if you’ve been waiting for a proposal for a long time and time is running out.
I mean if you want to start a family or you have other life goals you want to achieve, it may be time to reassess your relationship. Because if your partner is not ready to take the relationship to the next level he may not be the right one for you.
It’s important to determine if waiting for him is worth potentially missing out on other important life goals of yours.
These are my five deciding factors on how to decide on how long to wait for him to propose before you leave. Of course, it’s never black and white and there may be many more factors that play a role. However, remember that even if you guys have a great relationship, it’s okay to choose to leave because you desire marriage.
How long is too long to wait for him to propose?
In general, I would say that more than 3 years is too long to wait for your partner to propose. However, every relationship is unique, and the decision to get married should be made when both of you are ready.
That could mean getting engaged after just a few months of dating, or a couple of years.
However, if you’ve been in a committed relationship for a significant amount of time, such as two years or more, and your boyfriend hasn’t mentioned anything about getting married or doesn’t seem interested in taking the next step, it may be time to have an open and honest conversation about the future of your relationship.
What happens if you wait too long for him to propose?
If you’ve been waiting for him to propose for a significant amount of time and he hasn’t shown any signs of commitment, you are risking getting resentful, frustrated, and stressed.
While you might think that waiting for a proposal is a passive decision, it’s important to understand that it’s not. It’s actually an active choice to stay in a relationship without any certainty about the future.
And that can lead to a number of outcomes, such as:
- Resentment and frustration: Waiting for a proposal for a long time can cause feelings of resentment and frustration towards your boyfriend, which will lead to tension and strain in the relationship.
- Loss of trust: If your partner has repeatedly promised you to propose or has made vague promises without following through, it can cause a loss of trust and make it difficult to believe in his level of commitment to the relationship.
- Missed opportunities: Waiting too long for a proposal also means you are missing out on other important life goals, such as starting a family, pursuing career goals, or traveling.
- Breakup: If you’ve been waiting for a proposal for a significant amount of time and your partner still isn’t ready to commit, it may lead to a stagnant relationship that may ultimately end in a breakup.
Ultimately, if you are finding yourself in this predicament it may be time to reassess your relationship and determine if it’s what you truly want.
Be honest with yourself and get clear on what you want in your own future. And if waiting for a proposal for a long time is causing stress and anxiety, it may be time to consider whether this is the right relationship for you.
Why do some guys wait so long to propose?
There are many reasons why some guys may wait a long time before proposing to a woman. Fear of commitment, financial concerns, or personal reasons. All of those may play a role and are valid reasons to take your time before moving forward with marriage.
However, if you’re not seeing any progress and he isn’t actively trying to improve the situation, then it’s time to determine if your goals and desires are aligned.
He may have another timeline, which is why it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with him to ensure that you’re both on the same page.
When to leave a relationship with no proposal?
It is time to leave a relationship with no proposal when you feel like the relationship has become stagnant. And here is what I mean by that.
If you have been with your partner for an average of two years, have a solid personal and professional life, and are committed to the relationship, but yet there is no engagement ring in sight, then your relationship is at a standstill.
You have stopped moving towards an end goal and are now simply coasting. In healthy relationships, you have a shared purpose and goal that helps you create a successful marriage.
But when your boyfriend is not interested in taking the next step, then the big question becomes why stay at all and not just move on to a new relationship?
Deciding when to leave a relationship where there has been no proposal can be a difficult decision, so you want to carefully consider and self-reflect on what you want out of life.