The no contact rule after a breakup
There is no other topic that makes a woman as anxious as the no contact rule. Why? Because as crazy as it may sound, the same person that inflicted that pain is the person you want to talk to the most. So, the idea that the best way to get him back is to stay away from him is stressful.
But this post is not about getting your ex-boyfriend back, even though it can help with that. It’s about why the contact rule after a breakup is so important.
What is the no contact rule?
According to many relationship experts, myself included, the no contact rule is the best way to move on from a romantic relationship. It’s a set period of time, usually, 30 days, in which you refrain from any contact with your ex-boyfriend.
No contact means going cold turkey. No phone calls, no text messages, and blocking all of his social media accounts if necessary. In addition, you want to cut off all your ties to his good friends and family members. That helps avoid seeing or hearing about him from others, which would only prolong the healing process.
Why is no contact important after a breakup?
The reason why the no contact period is so important is that it is an effective way to detox from your ex and regain your power.
Whether you hope to rekindle things with your ex or move on to a new relationship, going no contact helps you to get your mental health right, which then allows you to have a healthier relationship in the new future.
1) Detox from your ex
I know it can be very painful to go from speaking to someone daily to radio silence overnight. But the reason why the no contact period is so effective is that it gives you time to detox from your ex.
Time you can use to reflect on the relationship and the breakup. Because it is very hard to stay objective when you are still in touch with your ex-boyfriend. Your attachment to him and the heartbreak you are experiencing will make you question the breakup and maybe even overlook the red flags.
2) Get your power back
Another reason why no contact works is that it helps you get your power back. Whenever you get out of a long-term relationship it’s very common to feel rejected and like you are not enough. As a result, you often experience a lack of self-worth and self-esteem.
During the no contact period you get to re-define who you are and who you want to be moving forward. By focusing on yourself and building a life you love, you build up new self-confidence which will make you feel better about your life after the breakup.
Does the no contact rule really work to get your ex back?
And now to your main question “does no contact work on men?”. And the short answer is yes. The no contact rule is a great way to get your ex back… when used as a manipulation tool.
I mean of course, your ex will be curious about what you are doing or where you are after the breakup, just like you are. And if he doesn’t hear from you for a while, then he might even reach out.
However, if your ex only reaches out because of curiosity or FOMO, it will not be enough to make a relationship last a second time around.
This is why the best thing that can happen after a breakup is that both of you take some time to yourself to figure out what you really want. You want him to come back to you out of love and not out of attachment.
The couples that have the best chance at getting back together, are the ones who don’t obsess over the future of the relationship. Instead of counting the days you’ve been in no contact and thinking about how you’ll get him back, move forward with your life as if you’ll never see him again.
That way if he ever contact you, you at least were not waiting by the phone for his call.