my ex blocked me
I didn’t think I would ever have to write this type of post on my blog. But there is a first time for everything. And this is the first time that my ex blocked me.
I’m not gonna lie, when I first found out, I thought it was a little bit amusing.
He has no reason to block me because I had not been keeping up with his social media platforms in any way.
On the contrary, I actually avoided any news about him for the sake of my own mental health and instructed a mutual friend of ours to not share anything with me.
I did not want to know if he had a new girlfriend, a new job, or anything else happening in his life.
So the question was, why did my ex block me?
I know that he is not a petty person, so he didn’t do it out of revenge. Which meant there were only a few possible reasons.
And one of them was in order to protect his peace.
That immature move was amusing to me, considering he was the one that called the breakup. But that’s a story for another day.
But shortly after my pettiness calmed down, I started to feel sad. The negative thoughts in my head kept whispering how that is a sign that he is moving on.
And that stung a little.
It sucked, but thankfully I had my soul tie worksheet and could do a quick centering exercise. And now I want to share with you, what you can do when your ex blocked you on everything.
What does it mean when your ex blocks you?
There are three main reasons why your ex might have blocked you.
He blocked you because you didn’t give him enough space
Number 1 is not good! If you have been liking and commenting on his different social media accounts and watching his stories, he may have blocked you to get some space from you.
Believe it or not, after a breakup, many guys need space from their ex-girlfriend.
A couple of weeks or more to think about the past relationship, how things ended, and maybe even a possible reconciliation.
Especially, if your ex has an avoidant attachment style.
So, there is nothing worse you can do than stalk his every move and try to find different reasons to reach out to him. He will feel overwhelmed and annoyed, which then further justifies his decision.
He blocked you because he is petty
Let’s be honest, we have all been there. If someone breaks up with you, you feel angry or hurt and decide to pay them back somehow. So, you block them.
There’s a good chance that’s how your ex-boyfriend feels too. He is salty about the breakup (can happen even if he broke up with you) and can’t stand seeing your posts and stories.
So, instead of seeking a conversation and contacting you, he chooses to play mind games.
While it might get your attention, it usually doesn’t lead to positive results.
He blocked you because he is trying to heal and move on
The last reason why your ex-boyfriend might have blocked you is that he is trying to heal and move on.
I know that often hurts the most because deep down you don’t want him to move on with a new partner. So, knowing that he is okay with cutting all ties and letting go can be anxiety-infusing.
I know, I have been there.
But I want you to see it from a different perspective. Whenever he feels the need to completely unplug and detach from you, it means that the old memories of you must have triggered him.
So much so that he decided it was healthier to avoid seeing anything.
And that’s good. Because him taking care of his well-being, is what he should do during a breakup and so should you.
My Ex blocked me – What to do?
1. Breathe and allow your feelings to flow
Tip number 1 may seem silly to you, but I know better than anyone how important it is to allow your emotions to flow.
Especially, if your separation anxiety was triggered because your ex blocked you on social media.
So, take a moment to take a deep breath and then ask yourself “How do I feel about being blocked?”. Maybe you feel shocked, angry, or hopeless. Whatever emotion ensues, remember it’s just an emotion and that it will pass.
If the stress, anxiety, or panic remains consider meditating, sleeping, or calling your best friend for support.
2. Take a break from social media
Another thing that I found helpful when my ex blocked me on Instagram was to take a break from the social media platform.
Instead of making it a big deal and checking the degree to which I had been blocked. I decided to step away from Instagram altogether.
That way I wasn’t reminded of it every time I opened the app and was able to enjoy other parts of my life.
Remember that in your post-breakup period, social media can disrupt your healing process. Follow the no-contact rule by avoiding seeing him or hearing from him.
3. Focus on another area of your life
You have probably heard me say this before. Namely, that to get over heartbreak you have to focus on other areas of your life.
You want to completely take your energy off of him. Meaning less obsessing about “what could have been”, overthinking your last conversation, or trying to find out what he is doing/thinking.
Instead, you want to give all your energy to your own life and focus on the things you love doing. Passion projects or hobbies that will keep your mind busy and help you enjoy single life.
Something fun, so that you don’t spend much time thinking negative thoughts, which will attract more negative energy.
4. Don’t take any action
Ladies, I needed to include this point in my list. The last thing you want to do is take any action.
Please do not make a phone call or send a text message, because you will regret it, trust me.
Also do not block your ex back.
For one it will take a while until he sees that. And secondly, you will get anxious about him getting angry back at you. So it’s a loose, loose situation.
Last but not least, don’t create a Finster account to message him to confront your ex about blocking you. Yes, it is unfair and you are hurt. But telling him about it will not make it better or lead to a change of heart.
The best way to deal with being blocked by your ex is to ignore it.
5. Move on with your life like normal
Yes ma’am you heard me. Like Michelle Obama said, “When they go low, we go high.”.
So, guess what I did when my ex blocked me? I didn’t let it bother me.
The first thing I did was acknowledge my emotions and feelings.
But then I reframed my mind and respected that it probably was for the best. I want him to heal and become the best version of himself, even after our breakup.
So, if he felt that blocking me was the best thing for him, then all power to him.
I made sure to re-read my list of reasons why we broke up and continued having a good time as always.
Remember that social media is not real life. Don’t let it affect how you feel about the decision you made. If your ex wants to come back to you, him blocking you won’t change that.
And if he doesn’t, him not blocking you wouldn’t change that either.
Will my ex ever unblock me?
The good news is, that yes your ex-boyfriend will unblock you eventually. Because the truth is, unless you stalked your ex’s phone, there is no need to block someone forever.
So I am confident that once he is over you and not angry anymore, he will unblock you. Who knows maybe by then you are already over the relationship and with a new man.
Or he might even befriend you again and the two of you will be able to have a platonic friendship.
However, just because he unblocks you doesn’t mean he wants to reconnect with you. And the last thing you want to do is reach out.
Remember that the reason why he blocked you is to gain space from you. So if you immediately fall into old habits of stalking him, he will just go back to distance himself.
Give it a couple of months before ever reaching out.
My ex blocked me. Will he come back?
Only time will tell if your ex-boyfriend will come back after he blocked you. As mentioned before, he is probably using the time apart to reflect on your relationship and figure out what to do.
Either way, while he deals with the breakup his way, you must take the necessary steps to get over him as well.
As a dating and relationship blogger, I never suggest to a woman to beg for a man to come back or wait for him to make up his mind. Instead, focus on your healing and then hit the dating scene again.
Remember that they always come back when you move on.
Does being blocked by an ex hurt?
Yes absolutely! Being blocked by an ex hurt, especially if you ended things on good terms. Because now you are confused as to what happened and why he is kicking you out of his life.
But instead of going down a rabbit hole of worry and sadness, remember that the relationship already ended and you don’t owe each other anything anymore.
Meaning that the fact that your ex blocked you does not mean he is a bad guy. Unless of course, he is a bad guy and you two ended things on bad terms.
The time after a breakup is always a difficult time. So don’t distract yourself but start healing. That way you will glow up after the breakup much faster.
And if you need help with that, I walk you through my personal breakup recovery program with The Soul Tie Recovery Workbook.
Should I contact my ex who blocked me?
No! Do not contact your ex who blocked you.
If he blocked you and you contact him, it will come off very desperate and very annoying.
By blocking you, he already hurt your feelings and self-esteem in the first place. Don’t give him even more power to make you feel bad about yourself by seeking his attention again.
You deserve a man that wants to be with you and cherishes your company. And while I understand that it is hard, the best thing you can do now is to distance yourself from him.