my ex blocked me
I didn’t think I would ever have to write this blog post. But there is a first time for everything. And this is the first time that my ex blocked me.
I’m not gonna lie, when I first found out, it was a little amusing. Because I know he has no reason to block me, as I had not been keeping up with his social media in any way. But I also know that he is not a petty person, so he didn’t do it out of revenge.
Which meant he could only have done it for one reason. In order to protect his peace. And that for some reason was amusing to me, considering he was the one that called the breakup. But that’s a story for another day.
But shortly after my pettiness calmed down, I started to feel sad, I’m not gonna lie. The little voice in my head kept whispering how that is a sign that he is moving on. And that stung a little.
Sucks, but nothing that my soul tie worksheet can’t fix. So, I did a quick centering exercise and went on with my day.
And now I want to share with you, what you can do when your ex-boyfriend blocked you on social media.
What does it mean when your ex blocks you?
Whenever you ex blocks you, it can mean one of three things.
He blocked you because you didn’t give him enough space
Ohh that is not good. If you have been liking and commenting on his social posts and been watching his stories, he may have blocked you to get some space from you.
Believe it or not, a lot of time when breakups happen, people need time to gather themselves and reflect. Time apart to think about the relationship, the breakup, and a possible reconciliation.
Especially, if your ex has an avoidant attachment style.
So, there is nothing worse you can do than stalk his every move and try to find reasons to reach out to him. He will feel overwhelmed and annoyed, which then further justifies his decision.
He blocked you because he is petty
Let’s be honest, we have all been there. Someone breaks up with you, you feel angry or hurt and decide to pay them back in some way. So, you block them.
Maybe that’s where your ex-boyfriend is too. He is salty about the breakup (can happen even if he broke up with you) and can’t stand seeing your posts and stories. So, instead of seeking a conversation and contacting you, he chooses to ignore you.
Let’s see how long that works.
He blocked you because he is trying to heal/ move on
The last reason why your ex-boyfriend might have blocked you is that he is trying to heal and/or move on from you.
I know that probably hurts the most because deep down you don’t want him to move on. So, knowing that he is okay with cutting all ties and letting go can be anxiety-infusing.
I know, I have been there.
But I want you to see it from a different perspective. Whenever he feels the need to completely unplug and detach from you, it means that your social media account and the memories of you must have triggered him.
So much so that he decided it was healthier to avoid seeing anything altogether.
And that’s good. Because him taking care of his well-being, is what he should do during a breakup and so should you.
My Ex blocked me – What to do?
1. Breathe and allow your feelings to flow
I know that tip number 1 may seem like a silly point to mention, but I know better than anyone how important it is to allow your emotions to flow.
Especially, if you are triggered by something as painful as being blocked by your ex.
So, take a moment to breathe in, while truly asking yourself “How do I feel about being blocked”. Maybe you are shocked, angry, or feeling hopeless. Whatever emotion ensues, remember it’s just an emotion and that it will pass.
If the stress, anxiety, or panic remains consider meditating, sleeping, or calling someone for support.
2. Take a break from social media
Another thing that I found helpful when my ex blocked me on Instagram was to take a break from the social media platform.
Instead of checking the degree to which I had been blocked and unfollowed by his friends or family members, I decided to step away from Instagram altogether.
That way I wasn’t reminded of it every time I opened the app and was able to enjoy other parts of my life. After all, social media is not a good source for healing and growth anyways. If anything, it just distracts you from the healing work you should be doing.
3. Focus on another area of your life
You have probably heard me say this a lot. Namely, that to overcome heartbreak you have to focus on other areas of your life. You want to completely take off your energy from him. Meaning no more obsessive thinking of “what could have been”, overthinking your last conversation, or trying to find out what he is doing/thinking.
None of that.
Instead, you want to give all your energy to something you love doing. A passion project or a hobby of yours, that helps you enjoy life while keeping your mind busy.
It must be something fun. Because if it is not, you will keep perpetuating negative energy, which will attract more of it.
4. Don’t take any action
Ladies, I needed to include this point in my list. The last thing you want to do is take any action.
So, do not block your ex back. For one it will take a while until he sees that. And for two, you will get anxious about him getting angry back at you. So it’s a loose, loose situationship.
Another thing you do not want to do is to take action. Do not call, text, or confront your ex about blocking you. Even if you feel like blocking you is unfair, because he broke up with you.
Contacting him to make him feel bad or remorseful, will not help. The best thing you can do is move on like normal.
5. Move on with your life like normal
Yes ma’am you heard me. Like Michelle Obama said, “When they go low, we go high.”. So, what I did when my ex blocked me, was that I didn’t allow it to bother me.
After I had processed my initial emotion around it, I reframed my mind to acknowledge that it probably was for the best. I want him to heal and grow from the break-up. So, if he felt that blocking me was what he needed to do, then all power to him.
I made sure to re-read my list of reasons why we broke up and continued with life as usual.
Remember that social media is not real life and therefore shouldn’t affect how you feel about the decision that was made. If he wants to get back with you, him blocking you won’t change that. And if he doesn’t, him not blocking you wouldn’t change that either.
Will my ex-boyfriend ever unblock me?
Yes, your ex-boyfriend will unblock you eventually. Because the truth is, unless you harassed him on social media or over the phone, there is no need to block someone forever.
So I am confident that once he is over you, stopped being angry/ petty, he will unblock you and maybe even befriend you again.
However, just because he unblocks you doesn’t mean he wants to reconnect with you. And the last thing you should do is reach out.
Remember that the reason why he blocked you in the first place is to get space from you, if you immediately fall into old habits of stalking him, he will just go back to distance himself.
He blocked me will he come back?
Only time will tell if your ex-boyfriend will come back after he blocked you. As mentioned, multiple times before, he is probably using the time apart to reflect on your relationship and figure out what to do.
Either way, while he deals with the breakup his way, you must take the necessary steps to get over him as well.
As a woman and a coach I never suggest to a woman to beg for a man to come back or wait for him to make up his mind. Instead, focus on your healing and then hit the dating scene again.
Remember that they always come back when you move on.