Signs God is protecting you from a bad relationship
I still remember my very first relationship and breakup, I was 19 and my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me.
I was heartbroken and thought that I would die. The pain was insupportable and every morning I felt like somebody had just rammed a dagger into my heart.
Since that very first time, I’ve gone through that feeling of premature death many more times. And every time I ask myself how did I get here? Did I really mistake every sign as a confirmation that God wants me to be with him?
Today, I know that breakups are not necessarily a bad thing.
A lot of the times they happen, because God is protecting you from a bad relationship and making space for the right man to enter your life.
If you pay close attention to the signs from God about relationships, you will usually find that He will show you that someone is not for you before it takes a turn for the worse.
After all, nobody wants to get a divorce, break-up with kids involved, or move out of a shared apartment. You want to be in a loving and healthy relationship with a loving, God-fearing man.
However, what are the signs God doesn’t want you to be with someone?
Well, it took me a while to recognize them, but over many years and thanks to many failed relationships, I was able to come up with a list of 5 signs God is protecting you from a bad relationship. These signs will help you spot the deal-breakers before it is too late.
This post contains affiliate links. If you use any of these links to buy a product, I’ll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps me to work in Ministry full-time and cover the expenses of this blog. The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).
How to recognize signs from God about relationships
As your father and protector, God is constantly speaking to you and gives you hints and signs all throughout the day about every aspect of your life, including your romantic relationships.
It’s when we are too obsessed with a specific outcome and the fulfillment of our own will that we miss out on hearing from Him. Because our own fears and desires are clouding our thoughts.
But you can change that and develop the kind of relationship where you can tell the signs God is leading you to the one or not.
All you need to do is to draw close to him and desire to hear his voice regularly, not just when you are in dire need. Question your motives and make sure it isn’t for selfish reasons.
Moreover, remember that God communicates in many forms and will speak to you through your mind, the word, and other believers.
Once you master hearing his voice, it becomes much easier to tell if God wants you to be with someone.
5 Signs God is protecting you from a bad relationship
If you’ve been dating someone and noticed the following signs, then it’s safe to say that he’s not the one God has for you. Instead of forcing it, decide to see them as God’s protection and move on.
1. His words don’t match his actions
One of my favorite quotes is by Maya Angelou and I bet you know it:
‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time’
Simple but pivotal. If the guy you are dating keeps telling you how much he misses you but never makes time to meet, something is off.
Same for the man that repeatedly keeps showing interest in other women, while simultaneously assuring you that you’re the only one he wants.
As women, we are blessed with ‘intuition’, which I believe is the holy spirit working in us and giving us highly developed discernment. So trust your intuition and pray for revelation to make sure that you are not misled.
By doing so you will be able to tell whether his actions align with his words and how to know if God is leading you into a relationship.
2. He doesn’t know what he wants
The good old ‘what are we’ conversation. In your head, it takes place at least once a week, but in reality, it takes weeks until it actually happens.
You try to introduce the topic spontaneously and act super laid back doing so. That’s when he hits you with the ‘Let’s just see where this goes and take it slow’ attitude.
Usually, that’s when I run to the bathroom, ask the holy spirit to take over and remove all sharp objects around #keepingitreal. But on a more practical note that should be the moment when you take a mental note – Issa Red Flag!
We all know that the bible says:
‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord’ (Proverbs 18:22 NIV).
So if he found you, but doesn’t even know what he was looking for, how does he know if you are really a good thing for him?
It’s like wandering through a department store and buying a pair of expensive heels because they look good on the shelf. After 3 weeks in the closet, you realize that you should never have gotten them because they don’t fit any of the clothes (lifestyle) you have.
Because deep down you are a Nike and Sandals kinda girl.
A man who doesn’t clearly communicate what he wants from the beginning is stringing you along to see if it will change over time.
And that’s usually when most of us girls end up in a situationship. We hope that he will change his mind and commit. But how can you be sure, if he doesn’t even know what he wants?
The only way to find out is by identifying why he does not know what he wants. Is it because he is adamant about being single? Or is it because he has never met a woman he wanted to be with?
If you are dealing with the latter, then chances are that he will be open to going from casual to committed. And with a few very powerful steps that I explain in detail in my book, you can inspire him to go from “Situationship to Relationship” and get the love you desire.
Remember that scripture is clear on the fact that a man should be able to lead you. Meaning he needs to have a vision of where the relationship will go. Otherwise, he will end up wasting your time.
So, if he doesn’t have a plan for your relationship it’s a sign he’s not the one God has for you.
3. His attention drops
Ohh I hate when that happens.
The first 3 months he treats you like a princess. He takes you out to your favorite restaurants, calls you at 8am just to say good morning and listens to your favorite celebrity stories.
Out of the blue everything changes. He doesn’t care about taking you out anymore and prefers getting McDonald’s drive-thru for every date.
He only calls you when you ask him to and every time you mention a celebrity name he rolls his eyes.
Deep down you know that something is wrong, but you brush it off and tell yourself that it is normal.
While I do think that a relationship eventually leaves the honeymoon stage and becomes a constant part of your life, I want you to understand that certain things shouldn’t just happen to charm you the first 3 months.
And it is your job to determine what type of relationship you want. Do you want to be in a healthy relationship or are these signs of a toxic relationship.
God will allow a man to show you his real self so that the two of you can connect on an authentic level. If the real him is nothing like the person you first met, however, then this is your sign from God that he is not the one.
Just because you have been getting to know each other for a while and you would like to be in a relationship you shouldn’t force it. Even if it means that you might feel lonely.
Instead, thank God for ending things early so that you only cry for two weeks instead of two months. And allow God to lead you to the right one.
God knows you better than you do and will match you with the man that is best for you. That man won’t lose interest and treat you well forever.
4. You feel like you have to compromise
If there is one thing I’ve learned in a decade of dating, it’s that you should never compromise on your dealbreakers.
Yes, I said NEVER compromise… On your dealbreakers!
You might think that this is a little harsh and selfish, but I assure you it is not.
A Dealbreaker is a factor or issue, that you cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any other qualities the other person may have.
Meaning that a dealbreaker is a quality that will irritate you in the long run anyway. It might be the way they treat their family members, the way they take care of their own health or something else that is important to you.
Don’t ignore these dealbreakers, because they may be a sign that he’s not the one that God has for you. Try to find peace and contentment besides the situation, by rejoicing in your current single season.
5. You prayed for God to show you if he’s not the one
Now, ladies, this is a big one, so listen clearly!
If you are praying to God and asking Him to show you whether the guy you are seeing is the right one for you and suddenly this same person starts acting up. He stops calling and texting or goes off the radio for days.
That is your sign! HE’S NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!
I know it hurts, especially if things were fine just a week ago. However, God is a God of action and protection.
This means he will end things if the man you’re pursuing isn’t your husband. This also means that this is not an invitation to blow up his phone and convince him to change.
Instead, strive to maintain a balance between your actions and your faith in God. Because at the end of the day God will do what is right in his sight. And you need to trust in God and believe that whatever happened, is good for you.
What are the signs god doesn’t want you to be with someone?
In my experience, the number one sign that God is telling you to let go of someone is that you will not have peace about the relationship. A lot of times we can sense that something is wrong before anything ever happens.
If one or more of the above scenarios apply to your relationship and deep down in your heart you know that man is not God’s best for you that then you may be on to something.
Trust your gut and pray for discernment. Ask God to show you if he is the one for you. That way you will be able to tell early on if the relationship is ordained by God.