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How To Increase Intimacy In a Relationship

How to increase intimacy in a relationship while honoring God

Contrary to common belief, intimacy is not solely created through physical intimacy alone. But a big part of intimacy between two people comes from their closeness to each other. Which spans over areas such as vulnerability, trust, and love.

In a healthy relationship, it’s important to develop a strong emotional, psychological, and spiritual connection that glues you together. This will help you strengthen and solidify your relationship.

Here are 10 God-honoring ways to increase intimacy in your relationship.

10 God-honoring ways to increase intimacy in a relationship

1. Be intentional

Make it a point to put your phones away. Be intentional about having conversations without distractions. No matter if you are out for dinner, taking a walk or just watching a movie together.

One of the best ways to build intimacy is being present in each other’s presence.  

2. Create relationship traditions

The beauty of a relationship is oftentimes found in the routine of it. Create a habit of doing something together.

For example, you could decide to make Saturday mornings your running days. Or Thursday evenings your game nights. These little traditions increase a sense of knowledge which increases intimacy.

3. Experience something new together

I love love love traveling it’s nothing new (unless this is the first blog post you read, then you might want to scroll a little bit).

One of the things that always brings a smile to my face when I think of different girlfriends of mine are memories of shared trips. Those destinations are a unique experience that we share and always remind me of them.

Experiencing something new with your boyfriend makes the activity special to the two of you. It doesn’t have to be something as unique as traveling and could be your very first soccer/football game or your first time going to a Pumpkin Patch.

Whatever it is, make sure it’s something new.

4. Go on a walk

There is nothing more romantic than nature. Acknowledging and appreciating the beauty of God’s creation and people watching will fuel your conversations for days.

You will find new interesting things to talk about and maybe even learn something new about your partner that increases your intimacy.

5. Ask Questions

Haha, this one is my favorite! As you know I created a great resource for you called ‘50 Questions to identify “The One”’.

Why do I have this list? Because I learned that I find out what I want to know by asking the right questions.

In the past, I used to be so shy and worried my love interest would leave if I asked uncomfortable questions that I never dared to. But now as a grown woman with an overly healthy amount of self-esteem I don’t care anymore and ask ALL the questions.

Because you know what. The right one will answer them for you and maybe even have fun doing so. So yes, ask ask ask! Questions deepen your intimacy by sharing a thought with one another. You open up more and feel closer.

We all know that guys rarely talk about their fears, worries or thoughts, so use intentional questions to get those out of them.

6. Plan together

Similar to the idea of traveling together, planning together can be a good way to bond with your partner on a different level.

When you have to plan a party, a renovation project or simply a day trip to a theme park, you create something to look forward to. Both of you are invested in planning a fun event or activity for each other. It pulls the two of you together towards a common project.

7. Schedule time to just listen

Ladies, we have a great gift, called talking. And we like to use it. However, it’s proven that the art of listening is what allows people to open up to you more and thus become more intimate.

So, make it a point to schedule a time when you just listen to him. With no agenda. Ask him a question about anything you believe will get him to talk. His favorite sport, his work project or how he feels about your relationship.

Listen to whatever he has to say, even if it may offend you and you would love to counter with something smart. This will give him a sense of security knowing that you can be a non-judgmental listener and show him that it’s safe to open up to you.

8. Find out his love language

I know I recommend this book all the time, but only because it helps.

Intimacy is more than talking and intercourse. And for some people, intimacy is received the most through their primary love language.

If your partner’s primary love language is Acts of Service, then you will achieve more intimacy by helping him organize his workplace than talking about last night’s game.

Or if Physical Touch is high and you committed to purity prior to marriage, then you should consider holding hands more often to show him that you will enjoy future physical intimacy.

9. Show your appreciation

Once you have been in a long-term relationship and created a routine it’s easy to start taking things for granted. The fact that he picks you up from work or cooks dinner for you every Thursday night after yoga class isn’t special anymore.

But in fact, they are. A healthy relationship requires sacrifices and some of the things you do for each other might have been the product of a sacrifice in the past. So, make sure you appreciate that sacrifice whenever possible.

Show it by returning the favor once in a while or tell him by leaving a sweet handwritten note on his kitchen table before you leave.

Related post: 10 Deal Breakers in a Christian Relationship

10. Share one big scary secret

The thing about intimacy is that one person needs to start being vulnerable in order for the other person to follow suit.

And because you are the one reading this blog post, I suggest you start. Open up to your boyfriend in a way you never have. Share with him one big scary, uncomfortable, personal secret about your past or current life that he doesn’t know yet.

This powerful and vulnerable moment will spark a new level of connection that lets him know that you trust him and he in return can trust you.

Who knows, it may just be a way for you to heal and let go of this secret once and for all.  

Related post: How to be vulnerable with a man

10 God-honoring ways to increase intimacy

I hope these 10 God-honoring ways to increase intimacy in your relationship will help you connect and re-connect in a relationship and discover the multiple layers of each other.

What other God-honoring ways to increase intimacy in your relationship do you know? Share BELOW!

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