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How to Deal With an Emotionally Unavailable Man

how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man

Dealing with an emotionally unavailable man can be a very frustrating experience. 

It’s not always easy to identify the signs of an emotionally unavailable man, but once you do it’s important to recognize that the problem is not with you.

It’s not your fault that he’s emotionally unavailable, and you can’t change him if he doesn’t want to change. 

However, there are some steps you can take to deal with the situation and protect your emotional well-being. 

In this article, I’m sharing some tips on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man, so you can make the best decisions for yourself and your relationship.

young couple looking distressed and sitting with their back to each other

What Does an Emotionally Unavailable Man Want?

If you are seeing an emotionally unavailable guy then you may be wondering what he wants from you and what you can do to make him open up emotionally. 

Before we look at what an emotionally unavailable person may need in a relationship, it’s essential to understand that his behavior is not about you, but it’s about him and his emotional state.

His lack of emotional availability most likely stems from past experiences and childhood trauma he needs to heal and is not your responsibility.

Nonetheless, here are some things that an emotionally unavailable man may want that can make a committed relationship easier. 

  • Space and Independence: One of the most common traits of an emotionally unavailable man is that he values his independence and personal space. He may prefer to spend time alone or with his friends rather than with you. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, but he needs his space to process his emotions.
  • Avoidance of Intimacy: An emotionally unavailable man often has a fear of commitment or intimacy. He avoids sharing his feelings or thoughts with you, to prevent getting too close and building an intimate connection. While this behavior is frustrating, it’s essential to respect his boundaries and give him time to open up at his own pace.
  • Control Over His Emotions: An emotionally unavailable man tends to struggle to understand his emotional needs, and feels uncomfortable expressing them. He prefers to keep his emotions to himself, and fears that expressing them will make him vulnerable. Therefore, it’s important to create a safe space in which he can be vulnerable and open up.

Remember that an emotionally unavailable partner’s behavior is not your fault, and you can’t force him to change. 

However, you can communicate your needs and boundaries in the relationship and give him space and time to work through his emotional issues.

At the same time, make sure to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being, and don’t sacrifice your needs for the sake of the relationship.

Related post: Why Do I Attract Emotionally Unavailable Guys?

How Do You Control an Emotionally Unavailable Man?

Dealing with an emotionally unavailable man can be a difficult and complex process. Especially, if you are trying to control him.

You may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflicts or emotional intimacy. 

However, the problem is you can’t control him. The only thing you can control is your own actions. And if you want the relationship to work, you will need to come up with a strategy. 

The first step is to set clear boundaries and expectations for your relationship. This means communicating your needs and desires in a calm and assertive manner to your emotionally distant partner. 

For example, you can say, “I need you to be more open and honest with me about your feelings” or “I need more affection and intimacy in our relationship.” Be specific and avoid making generalizations or accusations.

Next, you need to prioritize your own emotional well-being. This means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Make time for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies that bring you joy. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer encouragement and advice.

Lastly, try to practice empathy and understanding towards your partner. Recognize that emotional unavailability is often a defense mechanism that stems from past childhood experiences or previous relationships. 

So, try to approach your partner with compassion and patience, rather than anger or frustration.

Related post: Walking Away From An Emotionally Unavailable Man

young man looking out the video

Can a Relationship Last with an Emotionally Unavailable Man?

You may wonder if a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man can last. The truth is, it is possible but it requires effort and commitment from both partners.

It’s important to understand that emotional unavailability is not a permanent trait. It can be caused by a variety of factors, including past trauma, mental health issues, or an avoidant attachment style

And with the right support and willingness to work on himself, an emotionally unavailable man can become more open and available.

If you’re in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, it’s essential to communicate your needs and expectations clearly.

Let him know that you need emotional support and connection from him. Be patient and understanding, but also firm in your boundaries.

It’s also important to recognize that you cannot change someone else. Your partner must be willing to put in the effort to work on himself and become more emotionally available. 

If he’s not willing to do so, it may be time to reevaluate and consider whether it’s time to end the relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner. 

Related post: Signs an Emotionally Unavailable Man Is in Love With You

young black couple hugging as a welcome

How to Get an Emotionally Unavailable Man to Chase You?

While I never encourage women to make someone chase them, I do believe that you can inspire any man, even an emotionally unavailable man to pursue you. 

Here are some tips to help you get started:

1. Build Trust

Building trust is the foundation of any intimate relationship, and it is especially important when dealing with an emotionally unavailable man. Take things slow and focus on building trust before trying to force him into a serious relationship. 

Show him that you are trustworthy, and he will be more likely to open up to you.

2. Flirt, But Don’t Be Too Aggressive

Flirting is a great way to get an emotionally unavailable man interested in pursuing you. 

However, it is important to strike a delicate balance between showing your interest and coming on too strong. Let him take the lead and show him your playful side to get him interested in you.

3. Be Patient

Dealing with an emotionally unavailable guy requires patience. He may be hesitant to open up to you at first but don’t give up. Be patient and give him the space he needs to come around. 

Remember, making a relationship work takes time.

4. Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is key when dealing with an emotionally unavailable man. 

Be clear and concise in your communication, and don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Simultaneously, be mindful of his boundaries and don’t push him too hard.

5. Focus on Yourself

While it is important to build an emotional connection with your potential partner, it is equally important to focus on yourself. 

Pursue your own interests and hobbies, and don’t make him the center of your world. This will make you more attractive to him and show him that you are a confident and independent person.

In conclusion, dealing with an emotionally unavailable man can be a challenge, but it is not impossible. 

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