6 tips to stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison is the thief of joy. – Theodore Roosevelt
This quote is not new, but still very relevant. In a world where we have access to everybody’s lives through our phones, it has become very easy to compare yourself to others.
I don’t know about you, but I do not remember life before social media.
Even though Instagram has been around for less than 10 years and Facebook for about 15 years, it seems like scrolling through people’s pictures and “following” them around has always been a thing.
Sometimes I even wonder if my life would have been the same without social media?
The truth is a lot of what I do, traveling, blogging, YouTube was inspired by people I saw online. Being able to peak into their lives allowed me to learn about the many possibilities that exist to earn money online.
Why comparing yourself to other people is not wise
But as great as social media can be, it is also a common source of anxiety.
Many of us, are so glued to the lives of others that we forget about the beauty of our own. And that often brings disappointment, envy, and stress.
I am not exempt from this. Especially as a blogger.
I tend to look to other people’s content, graphic design, and success wondering if I should adopt some of their techniques. Hoping that I could ride the same wave as them.
But turns out that it doesn’t work.
Because I will never be able to copy their secret sauce and more importantly I am not supposed to. And I learned that the hard way over these past 3 years as a blogger.
I realized that the way I speak and write might not be as eloquent as I would like it to be, but is exactly what attracts people to me because it is authentic.
Turns out grammar errors and spelling mistakes are part of my secret sauce.
While I can confidently say that I improved and compare myself less nowadays, there are still moments when I fall short.
That’s why today I am sharing with you 6 tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others.
These steps are tried and proven and will help you focus more on what God is doing in your life and less on what God is doing in the life of others.
1. Identify your lack
Let’s be honest, ladies. Comparing yourself to others fuels a very distinct feeling – envy. That’s when we look at other people and wish we could do or have what they have.
Maybe their new house, their new man or their new job.
It happens to the best of us because we do it subconsciously and that’s where the problem lies.
In order to stop comparing yourself to others, you first need to become aware that you are doing it. Notice the people and situations that lead to comparison and identify what lack they are pointing to.
Accept that you can’t have what they have, but that you can identify the steps to get the equivalent for yourself.
2. Use comparison as inspiration
Once you identified what it is you want, you can take active steps towards it.
When I first realized that people were making serious money as bloggers and YouTubers in 2016 I was intrigued, excited, and jealous.
I knew I could do what they do, but did not know-how. Over the course of 1 year, I saved up money and decided to take the leap in June 2017. Within less than 10 months from starting my blog I was making $1,000 USD per month.
So, instead of allowing comparison to discourage you and make you feel bad about yourself, use it as fuel to pursue your dreams.
Take stock of where you are right now and where you would like to be, then create an action plan that will get you there.
3. Do a social media purge
I am a big fan of social media detox. I believe it can help you focus and remove any distractions.
However, I don’t believe that it cures your tendency to compare yourself to others. That’s why it is far more important to stop following people that cause you to play the comparison game.
For a while, I had to unfollow many of my favorite influencers. Looking at their lives made me feel like I was behind with mine. I realized that while I was working my corporate job I used to compare myself to people who were traveling full-time and creating their own businesses.
In order to protect my peace, I unfollowed them until I was finally ready to quit my own job and travel the world.
If comparison is something you struggle with, I suggest you do the same. Only follow people that make you feel good and inspire or entertain you.
4. Remind yourself that nobody’s life is perfect
Let’s be honest. Sometimes going on Instagram can be pretty depressing. Everybody else is on vacation, losing 20 pounds, and getting engaged. Meanwhile, here you are just working.
However, most perfectly curated timelines are not happening in real-time. They are a collection of people’s best pictures from months, if not years ago.
And I know what I’m talking about because that is what I do too.
Whenever you get tempted to compare yourself to others on Instagram, remember that all you are seeing is what they choose to show you, not their real life.
So you have to stop comparing the behind the scenes of your life to the highlight reel of others.
Remind yourself that nobody’s life looks like a magazine spread and still has its ups and downs.
5. Count your blessings
Gratitude is an important part of my spiritual life. It keeps me grounded and appreciative of what I do have.
The reason why we tend to compare ourselves to others is mostly that we are focused on our lack.
Whenever you feel down or depressed because things are not working out the way you would like them to, change your perspective and count your blessings instead.
Maintain a gratitude journal to record every little thing you are grateful for.
This will shift your awareness and allow you to see opportunities in your own life.
6. Focus on your goals
Like I said before, the best way to use comparison when it shows up is as a catalyst for growth!
You only have one life! So why not live it to its fullest potential and realize as many of your goals as possible.
Whenever you identify an area in your life that you are not satisfied with, write down a goal and tackle that.
Become proactive in creating the life you would like to live, rather than being reactive by merely looking at other people living theirs.
Remember that comparing yourself to others doesn’t do anything for you, but inflict feelings of frustration, anxiety, and envy. Instead of losing energy wishing you “could”, take back your power and “do”.
Focus on your own path, because it’s the only that matters.