3 Reasons why your boyfriend won’t propose
If you have found your way to this blog post, then I know you are not feeling too good.
Because you are most likely asking yourself “Why won’t my boyfriend propose?”. And that question is often followed by, “Why am I not good enough?”.
Well, the truth is, you are good enough. But you may be in a relationship that is not right for you.
How do I know? Because I was in such a relationship before too.
Years ago before I truly believed in my self-worth and understood the value I added to a man’s life. I wasted my time waiting for him and eventually left.
Looking back now, I understand why he didn’t propose and today I am sharing with you three reasons why your boyfriend is not proposing.
1) You are not demanding marriage
Reason number one why he won’t propose is because you allow him to. You are not demanding marriage, so he does not see the need to.
As a woman, you set the pace for a relationship. You tell him what you want and it’s up to a man to meet your requirement or not. Never the other way around.
But if you are anything like I used to be, then you might be scared to say what you really want out of fear that he will leave if you do. I get that.
But you can not allow fear to stay in the way of your true desire. All that does, is breed anxiety and eventually resentment.
You have to put yourself first and look out for yourself. After all, as women, we have a biological clock, and wanting to be a wife and have a family gets harder the older we get.
Moreover, if a man leaves because you want marriage, then it is better you know early on rather than wasting years wondering when it will happen.
2) He knows he does not want to marry you.
The second reason your boyfriend hasn’t proposed after years of dating is that deep down he knows that you are not “The One”.
And I know this hurts. But I truly believe that there are two types of women in a man’s life. The comfort girl and the dream girl.
The comfort girl is the woman who ticks enough boxes for him to stay around. She is nice, she is pretty, she is patient. But she does not rock his boat.
She is the girl who finds herself in a long-term relationship with no proposal.
And then there is the dream girl. She is beautiful, and kind, and most importantly, she knows her worth.
She is the girl who gets married within 2 years or less because she doesn’t accept relationship stagnation.
That’s also why we see so many men stay in relationships for years with one woman, and then the moment they break up they get married to the next one within a year or less.
3) He is not ready
The last reason why men delay proposing is simply because they are not ready yet. That often happens when dating in your 20s or when a man has not achieved his career goals yet.
This reason may feel like the most innocent one, but in reality, it is the most dangerous one because that is when women date a man with potential for years hoping for their dream relationship one day.
I’ve been there and would not advise.
He may not mean bad, but his indecisiveness will lead to a lot of anxiety for you and mean that your life and your timeline are up to him.
What to do when your boyfriend won’t propose?
- First, make a list of all the reasons, why you want to get married to him. Marriage is often romanticized and many of us have made it an idol. This is why I always suggest you get crystal clear on the root of your desire and assess if it comes from the right place.
- Next, schedule a heart-to-heart conversation with him about the topic. Find out where his marriage hesitation comes from and if he is open to the topic. For example, my husband wanted to meet my family before he felt ready to consider marriage. And because we were long-distance, it took a year to plan. That postponed my preferred timeline a few months, but I agreed because I knew it was important.
- Lastly, set an ultimatum. Contrary to popular belief, setting an ultimatum, if done correctly is very effective. Communicate it as an expectation and then never mention it again. However, hold yourself to it, so that you don’t self-abandon if nothing changes. I introduced my 12-month rule when I entered my 30’s and the first relationship based on that ended after 10 months due to this rule, but the second one succeeded and now I’m married to my husband.
I hope the above steps help you understand why your boyfriend is not proposing. And more importantly, I hope they help you make a wise decision.
If you are wondering about a good timeline, I suggest you read this post about how long to wait for your boyfriend to propose.
If you want to learn more about my relationship testimony, then make sure to sign up for my newsletter.
Love & Light,
Justine
