Skip to Content

How to Talk to Your Boyfriend About Money

how to talk to your boyfriend about money

If you have a boyfriend, a time might come when you two get more serious. You may start dating exclusively, or you might even move in together. At that point, you may start thinking about how to pay for a wedding. Perhaps you’ll combine your finances and start paying your bills together. 

If you move in together, the time has probably come when you need to have a conversation about money. Here are some ways you can do this so it is not too obtrusive. 

Talk About How You’re Paying Your Bills

Money can sometimes be a delicate topic. If you have a boyfriend, but the two of you are still living apart, it might not make a great deal of difference. Maybe if you go out to eat, one of you pays. The next time, the other partner might pick up the check.

If you two move in together, though, or you plan on getting married soon, you should start having some money talks. The first rule is to go into it with an open mind and a good sense of humor. If you love each other and care about one another, these talks should not take on an unpleasant turn.

As you’re now living under the same roof, you might make a list of the various bills you have each month. Those probably include car payments, rent, your food budget, utility payments, and so forth. 

Figure out who’s paying each bill. If you both make the same amount of money, or close to it, you might divide the bills up evenly. If one of you earns more, that individual may be responsible for more payments.

how to talk about finances before marriage

Discuss Saving Money for Long-Term Goals

In addition to talking about monthly expenses, you should also discuss long-term goals. Those might include putting money aside from each paycheck to create a fund you’ll use for your wedding. Maybe you plan on taking a vacation at some point, so you’ll start saving for that.

You should both be on the same page about how much cash you’re putting away with each paycheck and what that money’s eventual intended purpose is.

Talk About an Emergency Fund

You and your boyfriend should also discuss setting up an emergency fund when you start living together. Like the long-term goal fund, you should each know how much money you’re putting into the emergency fund from each paycheck.

An emergency fund comes in handy when there are sudden unexpected costs. For example emergency car repairs or sudden medical bills that your health insurance does not completely cover. You might also use the emergency fund to support your long-term goal fund if you don’t make enough money to put cash in both of them.

Money Talks Matter

Once you and your boyfriend start planning a future together, you start getting becoming closer. With that intimacy sharing your finances and talking about it becomes inevitable 

You might get a joint bank account, or you may stick with separate ones. Either way, you need transparency about how much money you have, both individually and collectively.

Just be careful not to pressure your boyfriend to the point where he feels uncomfortable since money talks can be a little stressful sometimes. However, you also need to have these talks since it should not be a mystery how you’re handling your finances.

You both need to learn how to be transparent with each other about financial matters, or the relationship might not last. This communication may not always come easily, but it’s crucial. If you can’t find healthy and constructive ways to talk about money, that’s not likely to change if you decide to get married or start a family together.