how long to date before getting engaged in your 30s
I’m back with a question that is pretty much my life right now. Because I’m 33 and recently got into a new relationship.
Yay!
My new man is amazing and he is giving my exes a run for their money because our relationship is nothing like any of my previous relationships.
Thank God!
Naturally, that means I’m much more confident that we are a good match. I’m in my early 30s, and both of us feel ready for that long-term commitment.
However, I still need to figure out if he is “The One”, and the same for him. Which is why we are dating of course.
The only question is, how long is too long?
I mean seriously. How long to date before getting engaged in your 30s? 6 months, 12 months, or maybe more? Here is what I think about it.
How long you should date before getting engaged in your 30s?
As a general rule of thumb, you want to date for as long as it takes to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with him.
Here are some ways to figure it out (faster).
1) Ensure you are out of the honeymoon phase
It’s no secret that when two new people meet they experience something called the honeymoon phase. It’s the early stage of a relationship where everything seems exciting and the attraction is heightened.
It can last multiple weeks, months, or even a whole year.
However, after a few months of dating the honeymoon phase is over, and the initial hormone cocktail drops.
That’s when you start to notice flaws and have to assess your differences.
To have a successful marriage, it’s wise to either wait it out or remind yourself that the honeymoon phase might cloud your judgment.
And while every couple’s situation is different, you don’t want to find yourself in an unhappy marriage, just because you tied the knot with your rose-colored glasses on.
2) Wait until you are financially ready
Believe it or not, finances are the number one reason for a divorce.
More often than not couples don’t communicate their expectations around money and end up marrying a partner with very different spending habits.
Needless to say that can lead to a lot of issues.
This is why you don’t want to ring any wedding bells until you have discussed finances. Some of the most important questions are:
- How important are financial stability and financial security to you?
- What are some of your financial struggles?
- Do you want to be financially independent one day?
Those are important topics to discuss in a committed relationship. Especially, if you hope he’ll become your future husband.
3) Make sure your lives align
Nowadays the topic of compatibility has become very complicated. And it seems like everybody has a different perspective on it.
When I speak of compatibility, I mean alignment.
You want to date long enough to observe if both of you want the same things in life. Because choosing a life partner means choosing the person who is going to be by your side forever.
So, your individual plans for the future should match or at the very least, align.
Important things such as children, where you want to live, and how you want to spend your life need to be discussed and figured out before any marriage proposal.
Because you don’t want to wait until after you said “I do”, to find out that you don’t see eye to eye on some life-changing decisions.
How long does the average couple date before getting engaged?
According to the pew research center, men and women are getting married later in life.
Which I say is a good thing. Because, quite frankly, many of the couples I used to admire for getting married young, are divorced now.
And that is not to say it is the norm.
But going through my late 20s as a single woman was super hard. I mean that Saturn return really did a number on me.
So, I can only imagine how hard it must be when you are married. I mean all that pressure and responsibility in a time when you are still discovering yourself.
I could never!
This is also why people date longer in their 20s than in their 30s.
How long do people date before getting engaged in their 30s
From what I’ve seen, most couples that are in their 30s don’t date for such a long time. Some of my girlfriends have gotten engaged after just three months, others after one year of dating.
So it’s safe to say that the relationship timeline in your 30s is much shorter and that many couples date for 6-18 months before getting engaged.
Keep in mind, that just because you get engaged after 6 months does not mean you have to get married right away.
The best way to determine how much time you and your special person need is by assessing the relationship and not necessarily the time elapsed.
How long should a woman in her mid-30s wait for a ring?
A woman in her mid-30s should wait no longer than 3 years for a ring. If you have been waiting longer than this then it’s time to seriously decide when to stop waiting for your man to propose.
Because if you know my content then you know that I don’t believe in waiting. And if you don’t, then let me explain.
I believe a woman should never wait for a ring! Instead, you should use your dating life, whether in a serious relationship or not, to live your best life.
Meaning as long as the relationship you are in still serves you and you feel good in it, stay. But if it stopped feeling good and the only reason you are in it, is because you are hoping he will marry you eventually.
Then you already overstayed.
And yes, I get that there is such a thing as the right time. However, if he is the right person for you, he won’t make you wait.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how long it takes before you get engaged as long as you are in a healthy relationship that will lead to a happy marriage.