He’s not the one: 5 Signs To Watch Out For In a Godly Relationship

I still remember my very first relationship and breakup, I was 19 and my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me. I was heartbroken and really thought that I would die. The pain was insupportable and every morning felt like somebody had just rammed a new dagger into my heart.  

Related Post: 10 Godly Signs That He Is ‘The One’

5 Signs to watch out for in a godly relationship

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The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

Since that very first time, I’ve gone through that feeling of premature death a lot. And every time I ask myself how did I get here? How come I did not see it coming? Why am I hurting so much? Why did he reject me?

I believe that a breakup is not necessarily a bad thing. Oftentimes you can be happy when God shows you that he’s not the one before it takes a turn for the worse or gets more complicated.

It’s one of these signs from God about relationships. 

After all, nobody wants to get a divorce, break-up with kids involved or move out of a shared apartment. Essentially, you want to make sure that you are ready to get married

However, how to know if God wants you to be with someone?

What if I tell you that if you listen to God from the start you are able to foresee the deal breakers in the relationship and are able to handle the breakup better. As your father and protector, He gives you hints and signs that the man you have been seeing isn’t for you and it’s time to move on.

So if you’ve been dating or courting someone and noticed these changes, then God might be telling you that he’s not the one:

1. His words don’t match his actions

One of my favorite quotes is by Maya Angelou and I bet you know it:

‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time’

Simple but pivotal. If the guy you are dating keeps telling you how much he misses you but never makes time to meet, something is off. Same for the man that repeatedly keeps showing interest in other women, while simultaneously assuring you that you’re the only one he wants.

Boy Bye!

As women, we are blessed with ‘intuition’, which I believe is the holy spirit working in us and giving us highly developed discernment. So trust your intuition and pray for revelation to make sure that you are not misled.

By doing so you will be able to tell whether his actions align with his words and if you should remain in the relationship. 

2. He doesn’t know what he wants

The good old ‘what are we’ conversation. In your head, it takes place at least once a week, but in reality, it takes weeks until it actually happens. You try to introduce the topic spontaneously and act super laid back doing so. That’s when he hits you with the ‘Let’s just see where this goes and take it slow’ attitude.

Usually, that’s when I run to the bathroom, ask the holy spirit to take over and remove all sharp objects around #keepingitreal. But on a more practical note that should be the moment when you take a mental note – Issa Red Flag!

We all know that the bible says ‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord’ (Proverbs 18:22 NIV). So if he found you, but doesn’t even know what he was looking for, how does he know if you are really a good thing for him?

It’s like wandering through a department store and buying a pair of expensive heels because they look good on the shelf. After 3 weeks in the closet, you realize that you should never have gotten them because they don’t fit any of the clothes (lifestyle) you have.

Because deep down you are a Nike and Sandals kinda girl.

A man who doesn’t clearly communicate what he wants from the beginning is stringing you along to see if it will change over time. No matter how many Bible Verses on patience you memorize he will still waste your time. 

Luckily scripture is clear on the fact that a man should be able to lead you, meaning he needs to have a vision of where the relationship will go.

He’s not the one

5 Signs To Watch Out For In a Godly Relationship

3. His attention drops

Ohh I hate when that happens. The first 3 months he treats you like a princess. He takes you out to your favorite restaurants, calls you at 8am just to say good morning and listens to your favorite celebrity stories. Pure bliss!

Out of the blue everything changes. He doesn’t care about taking you out anymore and prefers getting McDonald’s drive-thru for every date. He only calls you when you ask him to and every time you mention a celebrity name he rolls his eyes.

Deep down you know that something is wrong, but you brush it off and tell yourself that it is normal.

While I do think that a relationship eventually leaves the honeymoon stage and becomes a constant part of your life, I want you to understand that certain things shouldn’t just happen to charm you the first 3 months. And it is your job to determine what type of relationship you want. Do you want to be in a healthy relationship or are these signs of a toxic relationship

God will allow a man to show you his real self so that the two of you can connect on an authentic level. If the real him is nothing like the person you first met, however, then this is your hint that he’s not the one.

Just because you have been getting to know each other for a while and you would like to be in a relationship you shouldn’t force it. Even if it means that you might feel lonely

Instead, thank God for ending things early so that you only cry for two weeks instead of two months. God knows you better than you do and will match you with the man that is best for you. That man won’t lose interest and treat you well forever.

4. You feel like you have to compromise

If there is one thing I’ve learned in a decade of dating, it’s that you should never compromise on your dealbreakers. Yes, I said NEVER compromise… On your dealbreakers!

You might think that this is a little harsh and selfish, but I assure you it is not. A Dealbreaker is a factor or issue, that you cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any other qualities the other person may have.

Meaning that a dealbreaker is a quality that will irritate you in the long run anyways. It might be the way they treat their family members, the way they take care of their own health or something else that is important to you.

Don’t ignore these dealbreakers, because they may be a sign that he’s not the one that God has for you. Try to find peace and contentment besides the situation, by rejoicing in your current single season. 

5. You prayed for God to show you if he is the one

Now, ladies, this is a big one, so listen clearly! If you are praying to God and asking Him to show you whether the guy you are seeing is the right one for you and suddenly this same person starts acting up. He stops calling and texting or goes off the radio for days.

That is your sign! HE IS NOT THE ONE!

Don’t believe me? Then use this PDF I made just for you and ask yourself these 50 Questions to identify ‘The One”!

I know it hurts, especially if things were fine just a week ago. However, God is a God of action and protection. Which means he will end things if the man you’re pursuing isn’t your husband. This also means that this is not an invitation to blow up his phone and convince him to change.

Instead, strive to maintain a balance between your actions and your faith in God. Because at the end of the day God will do what is right in his sight. And you need to trust in God and believe that whatever happened, is good for you.

Related post: 5 Christian books by female authors that will help you trust God

Signs from God about your relationship?

If one or more of these scenarios apply to you and deep down in your heart you know that God is trying to end your relationship then I want you to pray for discernment, wisdom, and courage.

For discernment so that you are able to tell the difference in behavior early on. For wisdom to know what to do and what to say. And lastly for the courage to execute what God has put on your heart even if it hurts.

If you are struggling to hear God’s voice on that topic, consider going on a fast. This will help you to draw closer to God and focus all your attention on Him.

What other signs that he’s not the one do you watch out for? Share BELOW!

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65 Comments on He’s not the one: 5 Signs To Watch Out For In a Godly Relationship

  1. Good advice! And most of all draw near to God through fasting and prayer to discern what He is leading. It’s hard when your heart is involved… But He wants the best for us.

      • Justine… what if God told him I was the one 2 years ago during time apart, now he wants a break for 6 months with zero commitment and obligations? He has even mentioned considering going for coffee with another woman to “restore his faith in womankind”!? Our break (or break up) follows a week whereby I was depressed and not myself. Now he acts towards me with indifference. But I am turning to God. The ironic part is, he is a baptised member of the church, I am yet to be baptised but am working towards it. Any advice you can give I would be forever thankful for x

        • Hi! Just a Christian trying to help…what do YOU think God is telling YOU? It sound so like this man might not really be the right one to me. Especially if he is showing indifference and he wanted “a break.” From what? I believe God will provide you with someone who TREASURES you. Your future man won’t think twice about taking a “break.” He will love you and show that he cares. And he will also recognize that Jesus is the ultimate lover and carer!

    • I have a situation right now. So my boyfriend and I have been talking about wanting to get married but my dad now no longer likes him cuz he thinks that he’s not good enough for me nor treating me the way I deserve to be treated. He’s my best friend and is ALWAYS there when I need him. Even though we Get in the small disagreements because he’s a T texter and I’m a caller but God told has me he’s the one unless he stops growing closer in faith. I’ve cried because I’m scared of losing him. He’s scared of
      Losing me to but he doesnt know how to prove to God or my dad that he give up anything for me. Even my Pastor told us that if I continue to grow higher and he does not it will hurt us both and I’ll have to leave him. I’m Getting ready to graduate in a few days and he still has two years left of school which will be hard on us. Specially after my dad said told me if he’s ever going to be the one I end up with then he has a lot to prove to him. My dad used to like him and I honestly don’t know what happened. He even told me a few days ago that he wants nothing to do with him. If I have a wedding he’s not even going to walk me down the aisle or give him his blessing for my hand in marriage.

  2. Awesome post! So many girls just date a guy that gives them attention and they don’t look any deeper. We can avoid more heart break with counsel and intuition from the Holy Spirit like you said.

    • Yes, I went through so much heartbreak because I didn’t listen to the Holy Spirit. Now that I know better, it is something that has become a daily practice 😉

      • This may sound crazy, but I decided to post this because this is not an issue with just young women. I was 23 when I married my 1st and only husband. It wasn’t until after our marriage I started seeing red flags pop up that he didn’t want a wife, he just wanted company. From the beginning (after we married), he was just very passive. I just did not want to make decisions for anything. Every answer to me that I hoped to discuss was “whatever you want”. I found out through his sister that he had been married twice before me, and did not even instigate a relationship with his twin daughters. I felt he loved me to a certain degree, but he showed no leadership in our family about taking care of our childrena future. I began to resent being put in this “dictator” role and I did not like who I was becoming with him. Since our divorce that took three years, his sisters and nieces came to the house and divided our things included everything that belonged to our children and he delivered to the city where we were living. Even though we had not even talked about “divorce”, that was his answer. That was 22 years ago. Now our children are married and have their own families. My parents have passed away, and our family has dwindled down to just me…..and any lucky time that I can spend with my grandchildren. I did date several times after our marriage, but each with a new set of red flags. I have never been so lonely in my life…..and I realize that I have never had a normal loving relationship with anyone. I often find myself crying myself to sleep. At this point in time, the women outnumber the men about 4-5 to one. I know in my heart of hearts that God has someone for me. It may not be someone to marry, but I do want to have a friend of the opposite sex to have as a companion and vice versus. So I stay on my knees to Him, and allow myself the patience to clearly see that companion when he allows our paths to cross. Amen

        • You’re beautiful you’re strong ❤️ God sees your heart and will bless you with the desires of your heart. God says draw near to me and I’ll draw near to you. A relationship with God is beautiful make God your all he will make you his confidant. God loves you so much never forget ❤️❤️

  3. ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time’ . yes why do I insist on not listening? I am so stubborn. Not just romantic relationships but friendships and business deals are affected by this too. Check the actions not just the words.

    • Absolutely agree! More often than not we ignore early signs because we believe they will change, but the question is do they ‘want to change?

  4. These truths are so true, and thank you for sharing so honestly! These are all good things to keep in mind for single girls like me, too. Blessings, girl 🙂

  5. Thank you for this lovely read Justine. Fully agree with all your points listed. Having been through heartbreak in the worst way.. these were lessons I now hold as battle scars. Thanks for the encouragement!

  6. Great post! I think it’s really hard for women to come to terms that someone they’re dating maybe isn’t the one for them. Many of us want love and marriage, so we turn the other way when there are obvious warning signs. I really like your practical advice here!

    • So true! I think that was exactly my mistake in the past. Writing it down was my way of teaching myself that I have to do better.

      • I too am currently going through this. Please say a prayer for me to keep my strength through the break-up. It’s going to be a long, hard road ahead but I’m prepared with my trust in God.

        • Yes! Same here! I asked God to give me a sign if my boyfriend of 2 years was not for me. And of course He did. Not only once but 3 times. The problem is he is a wonderful boyfriend. But I do not think he would make a great husband. Pray for me ladies!

        • You are in my thoughts and i will pray for you to have strength and courage to get through this… it will hurt for some time but time heals all wounds 💕

  7. As a divorced single mom, I agree completely with all of the hints you’ve shared! I’ve also learned as I’ve grown in my walk with God that if something is not good for you, there will be a lack of inner peace. Don’t ignore this’ even when you can’t see what the issue is! “deep calls to deep”, learning to hear Gid clearly is the #1 protection from harmful choices.

      • Justine…I’m not sure I understand that. Wouldn’t that not be a good thing? Inner peace to me is God’s grace.

        I personally started to journal. It’s amazing how we find our own answers when we write them down and then read what we wrote? I.e. —- God calming us by soothing our soul.

        • Inner peace would come after we have made the right decision. God’s silence is not consent.That was were I missed it. Now am left alone with no husband and two very active kids.

  8. Hi Justine, this was a really great article with great advice. I wish I would have read this when I was in my teens. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache. Not sure if I would have listened because we all know how we are as teenagers. Lol but I am definitely saving this and showing it to my girls when they are older.

  9. Hi, Justine! This really helps me a lot. I am really seeing my situation in every example that you have, but in the context of long-distance relationship. Though what I am having now is one-sided, there is this thing that I know something is emerging between the man I love and I. Your blog really made me reconsider things. And yes, I will definitely do the fasting.

    Thank you, Justine! You’re a blessing.

    • Hey April,

      I think our own emotions and feelings can always seem one-sided because that’s the only side we see. But I’m glad this post helped a little. I hope the fast will help you gain a little more clarity.

  10. Hi Justin thank u for this, but the thing is my relationship is on and off thing and it’s a long distance relationship, he also proposed in 2016 but I couldn’t accept coz it was too soon, we fight a lot so for now with the hints that u gave here I think I could just accept the heart ache and deal with it n let God lead me. Thanks

  11. Hi,
    I’m in an almost 3 years of relationship and already engaged and we have the wedding date already by next year December. We had conflicts due to my bad habits of being insecure to girls and being so jealous. Then the latest conflict was 2 weeks ago with the same issues weve been fighting for. For almost 3 weeks now he was not communicating with me. He stopped attending church for a while because he doesn’t want to see me yet. He is still so angry that I dont know now if he still loves me. I need your advise please. Thanks Ma’am! 🙂

    • Hey Claire, this sounds like it is very serious. I suggest the two of you consider pre-marriage counseling. Sometimes it can be hard to talk about things alone and a Christian counselor can help you through.

  12. I had God tell me someone was for me and He made sure I knew it would never change. This guy hits all 5 points in this article. As much as I believe everyone wants it to be that clear remember God’s path may not be the easy way. If He does guide you to someone never forget it’s His timing. God has definitely used my situation to teach me who He is and who I am in Him. Don’t ever put finding a relationship over your relationship with God. That’s where your true happiness is anyway.

    • I needed to read this right now. thank you for this wisdom. I’m in the same boat, when I ask for a sign, it is him in spades. But he isn’t there yet. I drive myself crazy waiting for him to be ready. And I ask for more signs, more complex signs, and every time, it’s clearly him. I’m not sure how much more I can wait. I trust God will make all things happen in His due time.

  13. Hi Justine.
    This is a good read. Timely for what I’ve been going through. I have love this divorced guy. I was a starting Christian when I knew him. Even though we’re in long distance relationship, I felt his love. But just recently while reading the bible, about marrying a divorced man that I might be committing adultery. I was shocked and never thought of this will happen. I started to search for the answer but then I was truly in denial that it CAN happen. There’s something inside of me that tells me, I should stop this relationship with but I can’t. It feels like I’m trap already and no where to go. I love Him but I don’t disobey God. Please help me.

    • Hey Sarah, this is a very powerful question and I’m kind of scared to answer it because I don’t feel like I know the word enough to speak on it. That’s why my first advice is to seek godly counsel with a pastor at your church.

      Nonetheless, one thing I would advise you is to listen to your discernment. If you feel like something is wrong about the reason or the way he divorced his wife, then you should ask him. Find out what his standpoint on divorce was and now is. Only if you know these details, you will be able to understand why you might be right in calling it off.

      Be blessed

    • I know the feeling but you shoukd end it as he is still married to his wife in GODS EYE. The only way he will be divorced is if the wife dies as its death do is part in GOD’S Eye so as much as you love him you have to end it

  14. Hi my boyfriend of 8 months have been through many ups and downs and he says he is putting the date of our relationship in god, everytime I ask for reassure he tells me he can’t leave me but he isn’t sure what the future holds,and when he’s mad he says im a waste of his time and I have no heart and accuses me of cheating, I love him what should I do?

    • Hi Teresa, I think you have to ask yourself what type of relationship you want to be in. It seems to me like the two of you have created a toxic relationship. By no means should you feel like you have to stay with someone that deprives you of their love whenever they are mad. Please seek wise counsel in your local church that knows you and your boyfriend.

  15. Hi good day this is really a helpful post. i prayed to God to tell me if truly the man i am dating now is my man. i love him and he does too. he calls regularly and we share experience and advice together. recently i dreamed and i saw something carried me to his house and on getting there, i saw him on another woman i was so surprised and he was shocked too. and immediately i was carried back home. his attitude toward me hasn’t changed, he still calls morning,afternoon and night. we still talk like normal but ow i am confused on weather to continue or to take a break

  16. hello actually i wanted to know what if the man have shown all these qualities and behaviour in the first 3 months then after 3 months have chose to go is it God will will he come back thank you

    • HI Fanny,

      I definitely believe that people change and that if he shows positive actions later the relationship can work. But you have to use discernment and make sure that you don’t misread your own desire for God’s will.

  17. Hello Justine,
    I need some advice on a few things I am currently engaged and the man I am with has such a big heart but has a lot of past issues (childhood) wise where there was verbal abuse a father that would constantly intimidate him at such a young age and also the father was an alcoholic… now I don’t doubt the amount of love this man has for me but his his has a lot of past issues he needs to have to deal with.. now he drinks time to time but tends to over due it and it’s pretty intense for sometime he would bully me and there was lots of hurt while he was in that state.. when sober he is the most amazing caring person and my best friend… but the drinking has been tough on me and our relationship.. so usually what happens is when it does get bad he calms down on it for a while then gets right back in there… it even came to the point where I said no more drinking or I’m packing… so that scared him but I guess the problem is stronger then he is and decided to test me… so far he has behaved much much better but I still find myself always feeling unsure and that he did not take me seriously… and the other issues is I won’t go right into description but he will behave a certain way will say drink for 2 days straight and I don’t say much just to see how he reacts to it I do something out of the ordinary… I am currently suffering with multiple sclerosis so sometimes I get insomnia so I have trouble sleeping he decides to make me feel guilty for being up so late while I am actually being productive planning some wedding stuff and he just got upset and made me feel guilty for something that he actually does very often so when I did reply back I said why is it okay for you to stay up for and say or 2 as he does work graveyards so I understand that sometimes it’s hard to get back on schedule but I never give him and slack for it and now I am currently not sleeping and he just tried making me feel guilty for something he does often so I just said why is it ok for you and not me his reply was why you got to compare blah blah lol anyway sorry for the long story I just need advice about all this because it doesn’t make any sense to me and I am not sure what to do anymore 🙁 thank you If you are able to provide a little advice anything helps 😊 god bless xo

    • Hey Sophie, thanks for sharing this with me. Please understand that a relationship before marriage (dating and engagement) is to find out whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. From your comment, I can detect a lot of red flags that point towards toxicity and that’s dangerous. I would suggest you two seek marriage counseling first and make sure you have identified and started dealing with every issue from the past both of you might have. Love & Light Justine

  18. This is a great post! I’m seeing these red flags everyday in my relationship… unfortunately, I’m already married and don’t know what to do. It’s our 5 year wedding anniversary today and due to an argument last night, we are not even talking. In the early part of our marriage I found out he had been using dating sites and messaging other females on social media. I’m practically invisible, he doesn’t treat me like a wife. We went to church together in the early days but now he won’t lead and he doesn’t want to go to church and I wonder if he is even really a Christian. I believe he just used me to get a passport for this country. I’m confused as to whether biblically I should stay with him even though I feel he misled me for his own purposes or whether I should get a divorce. Any advice would be appreciated.

  19. I was in a relationship with a manipulator. He would do things behind my back and when I found out about it, he flipped it to make it seem like I didnt trust him. I was 18 years old when we met and we reconciled when I was 23. He still kept making excuses and when I didnt want to be with him because I explained that I mentally grew up and we grew apart, he pulled the ‘I feel like you don’t love me anymore’ I’m learning how to take my time and seek God’s answers before I engage in anything, especially relationships. A lot of my time was wasted. I’m 27 years old now but this is the perfect time to start over. Thnk you for writing this blog. It has helped me think of some things and know that I wasn’t at fault. I just had to trust and believe my instincts. When you’re involved with a manipulator, it makes you wonder about your own self. I’m glad it’s over and I have God to thank every single day.

  20. I am separated from my husband by miles and miles,oceans and seas as a matter of fact. We are fighting an immigration problem. It’s difficult, when he gets stressed he isolates himself and withdraws from me, I call it his “mental man-cave”. I do pray and ask God to show me the way, if he’s not the one, show me signs, keep him away and make it easy for both of us. Every time I do this, he comes back to me, like literally the next day, his heart softened, and we talk. We are still getting to know each other. Sometimes I feel like he is rejecting me, not wanting me, he says he doesn’t want to come to the U.S..but he wants to be with me, however when we argue he will say, “I don’t want you”. Later he says he says it out of anger and frustration.

    • Hey Nicole,

      I’m sorry to hear about your immigration problem and I pray that by God’s grace you will be unified soon. However, I do want to point out that the dynamic the two of you are facing is very normal and most likely has nothing to do with him not being the one (unless there are more signs). Not being able to be with you is probably frustrating him just as much as you. It is important that you understand that he may deal with that frustration and fear different than you ie. by going into his cave. Seek wisdom from God on how to deal with it, allow him to retreat when he needs to and ask him to pick up the conversation once he has calmed down.
      Love & Light

  21. Reading all of this has got me to really thinking….but here is the problem, I am already married, not quite a year, and I am seeing signs that scare me, but God don’t like divorce. I don’t know what to do. I saw some signs and I really believed that He was the one and this was of God, now I’m not so sure. I’m not perfect, I was married for 28 years and it ended and it breaks my heart that my family is no longer together, he moved on and I did to, so I thought. I have realized that I will always we in love with my ex. My husband now has been married 5 times as I am the 5th, yes I knew of some of this before, we said I do, but like I said I was sure God was putting this together. Please help me. Thank you

    • Hi San, I’m sorry you are finding yourself in this situation. I believe that the only thing you can do now is to go before God and make sure you hear him clearly. You might even want to seek wise counsel from your local pastor.

  22. Hi! Thank you for this post!

    So I have been dating this guy for a year and a half almost. He is an amazing guy and I enjoy spending time with him. He really seems to love me… however he is not a church boy and he admits it himself. He however makes effort to get to know God… He does not go often to church and it does not seem to bother him that much. His firends are really nice, but doesnt live a godly life in my opinion (clubbing, getting drunk, smoking, etc.), so he often goes out to clubs with them on weekends. He often asks me if I think I would come club with him and his friends, and I always decline which makes me feel bad. I started having some kind of revelations these past few weeks though… He seemed fine with the fact that I want to keep myseld until marriage, but for the past few weeks he started to talk more about doing it before, since if we know we want each other for life, it shouldnt matter. He keeps talking to me about how he’s gonna go club and drink a lot this summer… And when talking about wedding, he told me straight up he’s planning to get drunk and a lot of alcohol for his friends & family on the special day. Same thing for the honeymoon!

    I just came to the conclusion a few days ago that there’s really a big gap between our level of comitment to Jesus. He is not a priority for him… I don’t wanna judge him though, but I don’t think I should be the one pushing him towards Christ. I want to be with someone who already knows Christ is number 1. I don’t know, I’m no more at peace with it and I feel a strong feeling to break things off. It’s hard because he is so good to me! But I often feel like I’ll have to compromise on my convictions about what a godly lifestyle constitute. I dont see myself being led by this man, and I cant stay hoping he will change like I did in the beginning. I feel sometimes that I might be exaggerating lol, so I wanted to know you’re input on this.

    Thank you, and sorry for the length haha.

    • Hey Livy, sometimes we ask for advice on things we already know the answer too. Everything you mentioned is a sign that the two of you are unequally yoked. And about that scripture is very clear. You don’t want to ignore the signs now, because they will turn into a wildfire once you get married. Good luck! Justine

  23. 7 years in a loving relationship – within the 2nd year of our relationship he was diagnosed with an illness and we get through each day recently he now will not leave the house to go on short weekend trips to nature and sea side – am concerned he is isolating himself – we walk in the park nearby which is ok and I know he loves the sea. He said while I was helping him out of the bath “I wish I could End this relationship” I’m so needy”
    I felt hurt however while he sleeps I am sitting here thinking did he really mean that or shall I reassure him that I love him enough to endure his neediness and we will be ok – I will admit it’s been challenging and trying at times – please offer me your wisdom and courage to say what this man that I love deserves to hear. He is a loving kind man and we have been together for 8 years this year.🙏❤️

    • Hi Samatha, first of all I want to tell you how amazing it is that you love him so much and are committed to remaining in the relationship despite the challenges. I’m not sure whether or not the two of you are married, regardless of that it is great that you are sticking with him in the bad times. Concerning your question, I think you have to understand that your partner is fighting a lot of self-doubt and fear of failure. The fact that he is the one that needs you when the nature of a man is to be needed is hard for him. So I can understand that he might wonder whether he is worth your love and care. All you can do is to reassure him that you love him and want to be with him. However, you might also want to encourage him to seek therapy, so that his self-doubt doesn’t end up sabotaging your relationship. Blessings, Justine

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