10 Steps to Online Dating for Christian Women
A lot of Christian Women look at online dating as something bad. They feel like it makes them look desperate and as if they are not at peace and content in their single season.
If you have been reading my blog posts, then you know that I couldn’t disagree more. Being content in your single season, while desiring a partner is nothing to be ashamed of. And speakers, bloggers, family member and friends that want to tell you otherwise, lack empathy.
Fact is, that there is an abundant supply of Christian Women in most local churches and a scarcity of Christian Men. Through the internet Single Christian Women are enabled to widen their nets and meet new people from outside of town, state or even country.
But how should you go about using the benefits of online dating for Christian women, without exposing yourself to the dangers of rejection from guys, less self-esteem or even stalkers?
To help you with that I’m sharing with you today my 10 Steps to Online Dating for Christian Women.
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The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).
1. Choose an Online Dating Site you like
First and foremost I want you to understand that no online dating site/ app is perfect. The quality of dates you have really depends on the type of men you choose to entertain through the App.
In my opinion, there are some simple steps you can take to attract the right men in online dating, which I mention further below.
However, you can also sort out the good ones from the bad ones by asking the right questions from the start. And paying good attention to their messages, their consistency and what they do in their spare time.
Do some research before you sign up and make sure that you feel 100% comfortable with the platform. I, personally enjoyed using Bumble. This online dating app is female friendly because it allows single women to start the conversation instead of men.
2. Don’t share your identity on your online dating profile
Nowadays, all you need to sign up on an online dating app/ site is your first name and a few decent pictures of yourself.
Some dating sites for singles encourage you to link your Instagram profile. I say do it, as long as you don’t have any pictures that give away your full name, address and/ or place of work etc.
Because at the end of the day, the killer might be on one of these Apps and zoom in on one of your pictures to find out who you are and where you live. Just saying…
3. Stay private for a while
Sooo I don’t have a car (because I work for a non-profit and am broke most times). That means whenever I go on a date, I UBER or Lyft to the location. Obviously, that gets expensive and can be a hassle at times.
Some of the men I met on free online dating sites have suggested to give me a ride back home, but I usually graciously decline. Why Because one/ two dates are not enough for me to trust you with my home address.
I know that can sound extra, but honestly, that is my number one tip for single women dating in general. Don’t share your private address until you feel like you know him a little better.
4. Tell someone about your date
If you are totally new to the online dating world (welcome!) and don’t feel 100% safe going out with someone you never saw in person, then I suggest you let someone in your circle know about the date.
Inform your best friend or sister and text them the name of the restaurant, the name of the guy and if possible his license plate lol.
Really, whatever makes you and your friend feel good about the situation, do it. Best is to check in with her throughout the date as well.
5. Don’t date them all
The funny thing about online dating is that you receive wayyyy more attention online then you do offline. It’s not you boo, it’s them. For some reason men are bolder online then they are in real life. I guess that’s why so many people use popular dating sites to meet people and find love.
But just because someone sends you a ‘nice profile pic’, ‘Hey what’s’ up’, ‘No way I live in XXX too’ message doesn’t mean you have to go out with him.
Take your time messaging back and forth inside the App, before you share your phone number or go on a date. I believe 3 days messaging inside the online dating App if he is consistent are a good rule of thumb. But again, it depends on how comfortable you feel.
10 Steps to Online Dating for Christian Women
6. Optimize your online dating profile
Fact is, men (and women) are visual people. And we all are more inclined to wipe right on a person that looks attractive on their profile picture. And yes I agree, ‘love is blind’, ‘beauty isn’t everything’ and so on.
But when pictures are all you have to make a decision and can’t tell if he Is funny, smart or socially conscious, then a nice profile picture really helps.
That’s why you need to optimize your online dating profile by choosing pictures that will attract interest. The main picture should definitely be a picture in which you slightly laugh or smile and look cute.
Secondly, make sure to include a full-body size picture as a second or third picture. That way he can see what you look like because these selfie angles are deceiving we all know that. You want him to like what he is seeing, which might be your curves, your athletic body or petite figure.
Don’t try to hide anything, because that will surely backfire. Instead, show these men that you love yourself.
7. Be authentic
The goal in online dating is to minimize the amount of time you waste on conversing with the wrong match. Why? Because online dating can get exhausting and boring quick.
You want to make sure that you are not annoyed with the App and the conversations before you meet a nice person. So find a way to show the other person who you are with a few clear pictures and a precise bio.
If you are a fitness geek, mention it in your bio. If you love to dance, post a picture of you at a salsa class or use the lovely dance emoji. Whatever allows potential matches to find out more about you then the fact that you are beautiful.
8. Be unapologetically you
Okay, okay this one is the last on your online dating profile, I promise.
Luckily, nowadays you can share a few important facts about yourself in the little space below your pictures. Name, age, hobbies, and things that are important to you.
Trust me when I tell you that I surely include ‘love Jesus’, ‘believer’, ‘Christ follower’ etc. in my bio. Why? Because I want to scare off the people that aren’t about that church life.
I prefer someone swiping left because they categorize me as a ‘church girl’ rather than wasting my time for a few days.
So do yourself a favor and be unapologetically you.
9. Pray about it
Some people, including myself, have met amazing single men and women through online dating. People that are genuinely nice and no killers.
But it took me some time until I felt ready to actually use the App. I had to make sure that my heart was pure and that I wasn’t desperate in my search, but encouraged to try out online dating Apps to meet people online.
Truth is, the internet was created for our benefit, so we should make good use of it. While it can get pretty exhausting and affect your spiritual well-being, it could also be a blessing.
I suggest, you pray first and ask God to search your heart and show you how to use the online dating sites to your advantage, without losing yourself. And if it gets too much, leave the App and take a break from dating.
10. There will be princes and frogs
I know that’s not what you want to hear, but there are also frogs in online dating for Christian women.
One of my first dates with a guy was so crazy that I seriously had to pray off his funky spirit after we met. Pretty quickly into our first date, he turned out to be manipulative and demanding.
I finished the date and thanked him for the drinks. But the moment I got home, I deleted and blocked his number as well as his profile.
Even though I was shocked and could have given up, right there and then I decided to keep using the App. The very next day I ended up meeting an amazing guy who I then dated for a few months.
As discouraging as my first experience was, I knew it’s not the norm. So remember that nothing will be perfect as long as it is worth it.
I hope that these 10 Steps to Online Dating for Christian Women help you navigate the online space well. However, remember that online dating does not promise success, but sit surely increases the potential of it.
Do you have any other steps to online dating for Christian women? Share BELOW!