I don’t know about you, but I used to think that I just had to get through this season and the next one would be much better.
Husband, baby, great weave and a Range Rover, basically everything the Kardashians have.
But for some reason, the current season just didn’t want to end, and I found myself still single and still unhappy with where I was in life.
I thought when I accepted the drought without constantly complaining to God, the flood would follow…soon!
The only problem was that I was accepting it reluctantly and just hoping to get over it which wasn’t honest. It’s like pretending you love winter and buying overpriced Ugg boots to look the part, but in reality, you can’t wait for summer and wish you would never have to wear those boots again.
I understood only recently that God didn’t want me to just get over the place he put me in. He wanted me to use this stage of life effectively to grow into the next one.
And as every mother can assure you, every stage of growth has its own inevitable challenges required in order to receive your blessing.
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l remember when I was younger and really wanted that new iPhone. The phone was sleek, had a great camera and all the cool people at school owned one.
However, when I asked my parents if they would buy me one, they said no. According to them, my current phone was still working perfectly fine.
No matter how much I tried to persuade them that it was time for something new, they disagreed and insisted that it was too early to get a new phone and that I had to make the best out of the current one!
Annoyed and ashamed, I continued using my old phone until the way we communicated changed, and I eventually needed a new one, which happened to be an iPhone :p.
I believe that it’s the same with wanting to move on to the next season. We feel like we’re the only ones left behind.
We disagree with God, our Father in heaven, and are convinced that we are ready for the next stage of life. In our mind we have a valid reason, but is it the right reason?
All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. – Proverbs 16:2
I know, I know! It can be really annoying that God sees right through our empty words and looks straight into our minds.
Related post: 10 Bible Verses about trusting God
However, being dishonest with Him means we are rejecting His power to help. And enduring the situation, because of our selfish motives and not because we trust in God’s timing won’t get us to our destination faster either.Being dishonest with God means we are rejecting His power to help.Click To Tweet
Instead, let’s use the art of self-reflection to understand why we want what we want.
One thing I like to do is something called the why-why analysis. This tool is often used as a business analysis to identify the root cause of a certain problem. Instead of finding out the problem, I just use it to find out my motives. Take this example:
Two years ago I interviewed for a job at a very popular tech firm. I was convinced that after my last two unfulfilling jobs I now deserved this position.
I had multiple interviews and even one assessment that I nailed, but guess what, I didn’t get the job! Even though I’m sure I was the most friendly, open and enthusiastic person that applied (after all my mother raised me real good *Drake voice).
Of course, I was frustrated, mad and low-key angry at God for not having my back on this one. That’s when the Holy Spirit prompted me to do a why-why analysis on why I wanted this job.
There it was, the blunt truth about why I really wanted this job. I was basing my validation on a job to find status and approval. Calculating that others would find it cool, or even worse, that they would envy me for it.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were to still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
You can imagine how embarrassed and guilty I felt. At the same time, I realized why God didn’t give it to me yet.
Despite my assumption, I wasn’t ready for a new high profile job and the next phase of my life. I still had to learn to seek God’s approval over anyone else’s in order to be his servant in every area of my life.
Now, every time I desire a situation to ‘change’ or ‘move on’ I first question my heart using a why-why analysis. If the outcome is not to glorify God I know that I’m not ready yet.